After winning a motorcycle at a dance contest, Homer becomes part of a motorcycle gang. But when he puts Marge's photo in a biker magazine, a much tougher gang takes her, and he must win her back.
WAR
27.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Take My Wife Sleaze” ranks #509 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 71.1 — Solid. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 6.6 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: No! My wife is not a doobie to be passed around! I took a sacred vow on my wedding day to bogart her forever!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Gang Note · Homer: Thanks for letting us crash in your pad. We had a very nice time. P.S. We've taken your old lady. - D'oh!
Gang Member · Another Member: I'd kill for some waffles. - He has. Remember the IHOP in Oakland?
Gang Member · Ned: How about the Devil's Pals? - No. You see- - Or the Christ Punchers? - The Christ- I don't think you understand my objection.
Dennis the Menace: And another time, I accidentally stepped in Mr. Wilson's flower bed. That was a two-part episode.
All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy TV Announcer · Faceless Man: A man who holds the current record for least amount of faces, with none! Help me!
TV Announcer: You'll also see the world's smelliest tumor!
Lisa: Ew! These records used to be real accomplishments. Now they're just gross.
Lisa Observational Character Comedy TV Announcer: Plus, you'll meet a dog who can't predict anything.
TV Announcer: Then three other things.
Homer: What an age we live in. Oh, look at all that Sweet'N Low!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Grandpa: I remember television!
Announcer: [Announcer] Actual year may vary, Consult calendar for current year,
Marge · Homer: Why don't we eat there tonight? - Nah. We'll go next month.
Dennis the Menace: Dennis the Menace? Yes. I was America's bad boy. I once hid my dad's hat!
Dennis the Menace: And another time, I accidentally stepped in Mr. Wilson's flower bed. That was a two-part episode.
Homer: Allen Gaines Burgers 'Un-American Cheese Sandwich'? 'Polio Dogs'?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Lisa: It's clever how the names remind you of the '50s and at the same time, tell you what there is to eat.
Lisa Observational Character Comedy Homer · Lisa: I feel like I've gone back in a time machine. - Dad, they have those everywhere.
Homer Lisa Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: What an age we live in. [Chuckling]
Homer Running Gag Character Comedy Callback Greaser Host: Oh, my throat doctor says I'm not supposed to do that anymore.
Homer: Don't try and make me. If I have to get a divorce, I will!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Host · Homer: Our grand prize tonight is a vintage 1955 Harley-Davidson motorcycle, - I need a dance partner!
Host: Well, well, well. I have never seen such reckless disregard for a wife's well-being in my life. You just won yourselves a motorcycle!
Host Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive Homer: Finally I've won the respect of my fellow m- Get away from it!
Marge: Well, that dream is over. At least we still have each other. Right, honey? Honey? [Wind Blowing]
Marge Reaction Beat Visual Gag Bart · Homer: Man, you're bending the hell out of that kickstand, Dad. Why don't you just take it for a ride? - Promise you won't laugh? - Yeah, I promise. - I don't know how. - [Laughing]
Bart: You're kidding! You don't know how!
Bart Escalation Character Comedy Bart: If you weren't a man And my father too I'd buy you a diamond ring And then I'd marry you
Bart Absurdist Cringe/Discomfort Ms. Krabappel: Today we'll be sitting quietly in the dark because teacher has a hangover. It's like a chainsaw in my head!
Homer · Principal Skinner · Students: Remember to rebel against authority, kids! - Don't listen to him, children. - We already did.
Reverend Lovejoy: The sermon today is on John 4:13. I think it was Jesus who said, 'Blessed are those'- Oh, the heck with it. Church dismissed.
Homer: Quiet, Marge. The motorcycle and I are trying to sleep.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist TV Mother: He won't do his homework, he only salutes the flag with one finger and he comes home every night with other people's blood on his shirt.
Apu · Homer: Look what you've done to beautiful display! - Yeah, that's the life for me, Marge- cruisin' and hasslin' shopkeepers.
TV Character · Homer: Nothing can defeat a motorcycle gang! A gang. That's the answer.
Homer · Gang Members: This gang's for rebels, Flanders, not 'conformos.' - Yeah! - Buzz off!
Ned · Homer · Gang Members: Well, if I were a member, we could use my rumpus room as our lair. - That guy just don't get it, do he? - My rumpus room with the new bumper pool table? - Bumper pool? - I'm there.
Ned: I move we reconsider our club name. Make it something a little less blasphemous. After all, we don't want to go to hell.
Ned Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Gang Member · Ned: How about the Devil's Pals? - No. You see- - Or the Christ Punchers? - The Christ- I don't think you understand my objection.
Gang Member: Whoa! 'Machine wash warm.' 'Tumble dry.' Ooh, la, la.
Chief Wiggum · Homer: 'Hell's Satans,' huh? I'm watching you punks. - Can't hassle us, pig. We're goin' the speed limit. Oink, oink, oink.
Homer · Chief Wiggum: You can lock us away, but you'll never defeat the Cobras. - Cobras? I thought you were the Hell's Satans. - Uh- Oink, oink, oink!
Gang Members: He's got a broom! - Let's get outta here! - Forget the pennies! Go! Go!
Apu · Manjula: You promised me no more brooms. - I know this is not your way. But we're in America now.
Homer: Her turn-ons include thievery and liquor. Her turnoffs include underpants, pedestrians and justice.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Real Hell's Satans Leader: You stole our club name. According to our bylaws, we gotta stomp you.
Gang Member · Homer: Hey, hey! Chew with your mouth closed, please. - Sorry.
Meathook · Homer: Now you gotta eat that too! - You got anything else with our logo on it? - Caps and Frisbees, sir. - You gotta eat them too! - And some pogs.
Chief Wiggum: Forget it, Simpson. Those pig noises you made really hurt my feelings. Lookin' like a pig as I do.
Homer · Chief Wiggum: But you have so much inner beauty. - Well, uh, be that as it may... uh, the gang is wanted in eight other states. And we have a little saying around here- 'Let Michigan handle it.'
Gang Member · Another Member: I'd kill for some waffles. - He has. Remember the IHOP in Oakland?
Ramrod: Marge, how did you get my jacket so clean? I've tried everything to get those blood and puke stains out. I've tried hitting 'em. I've tried yelling at 'em.
Ramrod Character Comedy Absurdist Marge: Hey! Hey! That's a leave-in conditioner! You're done. Next!
Marge Character Comedy Observational Bart · Rod/Todd: Dad, I'm tired of bathing in the yard. Plus, I think Rod and Todd are watching. - No, we're not!
Homer: Benjamin Franklin once said that house guests are like fish at- at- Huh? They're gone! Whoo-hoo!
Gang Note · Homer: Thanks for letting us crash in your pad. We had a very nice time. P.S. We've taken your old lady. - D'oh!
Gang Leader · Marge: Oh, don't worry. You're completely safe. None of us find you sexually attractive. - None of you? Really?
Lisa · Homer: 'Korean Love Brides'? - I just don't want to be alone!
Gang Leader: To the Bikers' Jamboree in South Dakota. You'll love it. Mickey Rourke's coming, and we're gonna jump him.
Gang Member · Marge: Oh, man. To get all that, you'd have to kill, like, 50 people. - No. You don't have to kill anyone, not if you have jobs.
Gang Member · Marge: No, I believe it's pronounced 'resume.' - Actually, both are acceptable.
Ramrod · Marge: Miss Simpson, I killed my pencil. - 'Broke.' You broke your pencil. - I broke him.
Homer: No! My wife is not a doobie to be passed around! I took a sacred vow on my wedding day to bogart her forever!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: Oh! I just swept the circle of death.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Gang Leader · Homer: You know what I'm gonna do after I kill ya? Take your wallet. - Never! It was a gift from Newsweek!
Gang Leader: A woman like that only comes along every couple of miles.
Gang Member · Homer · Marge: Hey, can we at least keep her till the orgy in San Berdoo? - What do you say, honey? - No! - No dice!
Gang Members: We'll stop at the nearest town and mail our 'resumes.' - 'Resumes.' It still sounds weird to me.
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