Eight Misbehavin

Homer:These Swedish furniture designers sure have some far-out ideas. I mean, a green table. I wouldn't have thought of that in my wildest dreams.

Captain McCallister:Arr! She swallowed me whole. You put it together yourself. All you need is me-Allen Wrench.

Homer:He's named after what he is.

Robot/Alien character:It's not a costume. They found me inside a meteor. Help. I need tungsten to live. Tungsten!

Marge:You don't want something that overshadows the pencils.

Bart:Mom, no. Everyone at school picks on the Pöpli kids. Even I do. I just hate them so much.

Homer:Yes, I will have the plopenlugen. And don't skimp on the doodlemunch.

Homer:How ingenious. The forks are made out of Lego.

Homer:Hey, Apu. Manjula. You guys are still married?

Homer:Pay up, Marge.

Manjula:Maggie loves baby talk. That was Hindi.

Homer:On the other hand, monkey see, monkey do.

Homer:You can teach 'em to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the Internet and all.

Apu:I've noticed this country is dangerously underpopulated.

Apu:Who will float my corpse down the Ganges?

Manjula:Oh, Apu, take me now. Oh, Calcutta!

Apu:By chilling my loins, I increase the chances of impregnating my wife.

Moe:Whoa-ho! Too much information! Thanks for the mental picture! Why don't you tell us what you really think?

Apu:Would you stop spouting those hackneyed quips? Could you be any more- Hello!

Barney:Um, how 'bout one not touching your ass?

Apu:Whoa. Manjula has begun to ovulate.

Apu:Oh, lemon.

Apu:All that sex for nothing.

Homer:But the cans seal in the flavor.

Homer:Decided? That's classic. 'Decided.'

Manjula:Oh! Homer, we have tried everything- oysters, gravity boots, Sanjay's bed, every possible position.

Homer:Really? On top and underneath?

Apu:Uh, I'm willing to play the high school jock... but did you have to cut the roof off my car?

Homer:Hup-hup-hup-hup. That's an Apu question. You're Greg.

Homer · Apu:I- I thought I was going to Ivy League State. My mistake. Stay in the moment.

Apu · Manjula:Baby. Baby. Pirate?

Manjula:No, no, wait a minute! Pirates are wild! We are pregnant!

Homer:I'll say. I learned the true meaning of Columbus Day.

Lisa:I became the most popular girl in school... but blew it by being conceited. And then I learned the true meaning of winter.

Apu · Manjula:You are beautiful and silky and manageable. You're reading that off a conditioner bottle.

Gil:Gil's moving up to the big leagues, boy. Oh, my back.

Doctor:We had quite a discussion about the funniest way to reveal them to you.

Doctor:It rolls off your tongue and into your heart- 'octuplets.'

Homer:Yeah, that. It looked just like that.

Apu:Well, that would only account for quintuplets. Did anyone else slip this woman fertility drugs?

Homer:Mine tasted like strawberry. Mmm. 'Ovulicious.'

Kent Brockman:Would you say you and your babies have a 'love eight' relationship? No, say it! We need a sound bite.

Kent Brockman · Apu:How would you respond to people who say this kind of multiple birth... is more suited to, say, a possum than a human being? Who would say such a thing? Well, pundits, wags. I'm not the one on trial here.

Kent Brockman:Well, pundits, wags. I'm not the one on trial here.

Homer:Free baby cola! Apu hits the jackpot and I'm stuck with these useless one-tuplets!

Bart · Homer:Gee, sorry for being born. I've been waiting so long to hear that.

Apu:They only gave us three crates. They can rot in hell.

Reporter:Some say eight babies is a blessing... but they don't know the joy of nine. Would you say you're on 'cloud nine'?

Homer:Nine babies? That's barbaric! Nonuplets? Now that's something you don't see every day.

Apu:Oh, I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.

Apu:How do you get cradle rash when you sleep in a suitcase?

Apu:I can't believe you don't shut up.

Marge:Although he thinks one or two might just be going along with the crowd.

Barney · wife:Eight kids? Mmm. I'm sterile, right, baby doll? Yes, dear. From the nuclear plant. Beautiful.

Apu:Welcome to my nightmare.

Apu:Oh, hallelujah. Our problems are solved. We have banana bread.

Apu:Banana bread! What the hell were you thinking? Banana bread.

Apu:Banana bread! What the hell were you thinking? Banana bread.

Apu:As a token of forgiveness, please take this baby.

Manjula:Who cares? There's only one of him.

Larry Kidkill:What? Everybody loves my zoo. You don't love my zoo? I dare you to look at a kangaroo and not laugh. I dare you.

Homer · Butch Patrick:If your mother was a vampire and your father was a Frankenstein... how come you are a werewolf? Huh. I never thought of that. Doesn't make sense, does it?

Kidkill:Hey, I'm a notary. So I got that goin' too.

Larry Kidkill:If you're not in a diaper, get off my stage.

Kidkill:Welcome to Octopia!

Kidkill:Say hello to the baddest baby in the whole damn town-Animal.

Marge:How can he rebel? He doesn't even know where he is.

Larry Kidkill:And now the stand-up who can't even sit up... give it up for Punch Line!

Larry Kidkill:Work with Dazzle. She's a lox out there.

Chief Wiggum:Paid me off? What, are you crazy? Mmm. Mmm.

Chief Wiggum:Well, they might give Dazzle back. The buzz is she's got one more show to turn it around.

Chief Wiggum:Yeah, yeah, a lot of people are doing that these days.

Kidkill:Show's over! Show's over! Next show at 8:00 and 10:00.

Butch Patrick:Stupid mongoose! Get the snake! The snake! Do I look like a snake?