Marges Son Poisoning

Willie:Enjoy your multicultural hooey.

Unknown student:Your most beautiful costume is your self-esteem. // Pause here to discuss tolerance. What is this crap?

Unknown student:This is worse than 'wheelchair-nocchio.'

Bart:Hey, cryptkeeper, I like your Dodge scare-a-van.

Mr. Burns:It was the first car to outrun a man. A caveman.

Unknown student:I thought of that 'cause I slept in a cave last night.

Mr. Burns · Smithers:Kill them, Smithers. // You could just buy a new car, sir. // Well... whatever's easier.

Smithers:May I suggest an Oldsmobile?

Mr. Burns:Now, hold perfectly still for 78 minutes.

Smithers:That's the car I think about when I make love to my wife.

Bart · Lisa:That guy in first class is taking a tv out of his armrest. // What's in you? // A bunch of stupid cables.

Brandine:Cletus, you are the most wonderful husband and son I ever had.

Homer:Well, some people in Europe have the impression that America has made some stupid choices in the past, oh, five years.

Homer:That flag is mine! Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe!

Lisa:Why don't you encourage him to get us some health insurance?

Homer:A McDonald's where you can get booze!

Lisa · Homer:But, dad, don't you want to turn around and see the tower? // There's a picture of it on my cup.

Homer:Savages.

Homer · Marge:It says here we should turn left at a fat chick in a tutu being fed by a midget. // That's a dvd of a Fellini movie.

Homer:I get it. The midget represents dwarves.

Homer:Mozzarella! Parmigiano! Provolone! Pecorino! Gorgonzola! Fontina! Taleggio! Bocconcini!

Marge · Homer:We got the cheese insurance. // It doesn't cover mortadella. // No!

Homer:Wish you'd never been unified by Victor Emmanuel II. If only you'd stayed a loose confederation of city-states, trading with each other and occasionally warring.

Homer:Why can't you people learn to speak my language? I learned to eat your food.

Italian villager:Kentucky?! In italia, this a-means 'whore'!

Sideshow Bob:Sideshow Bob of all the regioni and all the villaggi in all of Italia, you had to be il mayore of this one!

Lisa:But it better have a beginning, a middle and an end. And you'd better make us root for the protagonist.

Bart:Okay, so far I'm rooting for you.

Sideshow Bob:It's pronounced 'buon giorno.' Your mouth is getting lazy on the second syllable. Here, let me guide you.

Sideshow Bob:These feet are made for stomping and that's just what they'll do one of these days these feet will make chianti out of you ready, feet? Start stomping.

Lisa · Sideshow Bob:Holy moley! I always thought you were, you know, out loud and proud. // Well, I experimented in college, as one does.

Homer · Sideshow Bob:I never went to college. // Stop the presses.

Gino:Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! I make like my daddy!

Sideshow Bob · Gino:Bart and I used to go fly-fishing together. // Die, Bart! Die, Bart!

Francesca:He makes love like a man who just got out of jail.

Sideshow Bob:Surely, even the most heinous criminal deserves a seventh chance.

Homer:Not necessarily in words, but in body language. You know, sneaking around and such.

Marge:You can't be a bad person if you have a family.

Lisa:from Jean Valjean to the voice of Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen.

Lisa · Homer:Dad, don't act like Mussolini. // I thought I was doing Donald Trump.

Sideshow Bob:This sausage shop has been grinding the same family of pigs for 600 years.

Homer:And he kisses you with that mouth.

Wiggum:Chief, I tried to warn you. Sideshow bob hasn't lived here for months.

Wiggum:Mark Wiggum, fat kid, played a lot of tetris.

Sideshow Bob:my heartfelt wish that they never return.

Homer · Bart:Marge, don't be so olive garden. // Yeah, this is Italy. Look, the town drunk is two years old.

Lisa:Look, the town drunk is two years old.

Lisa:More like jailed at sing sing.

Sideshow Bob:Drunken children tell the ugliest lies.

Sideshow Bob:But darling, the boy drove me to murder by exonerating a harlequin who I framed for robbery at the Kwik-E-Mart.

Bart:Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from zero to murder awfully fast.

Bart:At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life.

Marge:It's called a hangover, sweetie. And it's an unavoidable part of life.

Homer:What am i supposed to use it for... transporting water to distant urban centers?! Lazy romans.

Sideshow Bob:Why do I keep trying to kill them?

Francesca:Revenge is a dish best served family-style.

Homer:I feel like I'm the Bourne Identity.

Homer:They have that here, too?

Krusty:Vendetta? What's that, an Italian vending machine?

Homer:I am the gayest super villain ever. Beware my scented candles.

Krusty:Yeah, well, it sounds like you're all taking a Napoli.

Krusty:Well, I need someone to help me smuggle antiquities to America. Everyone, break off a piece and hide it on your person.