The Wife Aquatic

Lisa:Yes, thank you for talking to all of us like we just tuned in.

Bart:Ooh, a fat man falls real original.

Homer · Family:Family physical comedy sequence fighting for space

Reverend Lovejoy:Tonight's G-rated gem is a silent film from my favorite year-- yester.

Reverend Lovejoy:While you're watching this quiet riot, I'll be slipping these religious pamphlets on your windshields.

Crowd member:Hey, can you fix the sound?! And the color! And show it in a regular theater?

Bart:This movie isn't silent. I can hear it sucking.

Homer:It's like an apple did it with an onion.

Barney:Wow, even I ain't hoping for porn.

Homer:I'm gonna take her back there by burning that home movie on to a DVD.

Homer:I'm gonna make her dream come true by downloading that movie on to her Ipod.

Grandpa Simpson:Oh, thank you. I was talking to the cat.

Bart:It smells like heinie!

Marge:Oh, God, someone carved swastikas on your eyes.

Homer:Oh, Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.

Homer:It's not sugar. It's caramel.

Sea Captain:Slick Willie wiggles out of another one.

Sea Captain:Maybe they under-spawned... Maybe the fish killed themselves... Maybe you should marry Milhouse.

Bart · Homer:- Can I go again? - All night long, baby.

Homer:Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow,ba-boom! Ka-powi.

Marge:Well, at least they left your underwear on. That was nice of them.

Sea Captain:Queer strange, or queer gay? Oh, a touch of both.

Homer:Its oil is used to polish stripper poles. Ugh, finally, something even I wouldn't eat.

Homer:I thought today was Opposite Day. By the way, you're very ugly. It's Opposite Day.

Homer · Billy:So that means... it is Opposite Day. It's not Opposite Day!

Bart:Three years is a long ways away.

Weather expert:I won't lie to you. It's the most powerful storm I've ever seen, and I've seen three storms.

Billy:I'm sure our TiVo's are groaning with great shows.

Sea Captain:All right, now listen, if a storm were coming, my trick knee would be acting up. Hey... hey... hey... hey. Dear God.

Homer:What's next, pepper water? Ha-ha.

Bart:There were going to go to the folk art museum, then they were going to paint crab shells. Not crush them, paint them!

Moe · Barney:Yeah, but then we'd have to stand there while we get the doors unlocked. Don't you have one of them keys that beeps the doors open? Yeah, but still.

Sea Captain · Billy:Should I hit him with a shovel to spare him the pain of drowning? Not yet. What's the code word?

Sea Captain:Oh, Mother Sea, giver of fish, taker of boats, toilet to the world, the Greeks call you 'Poseidon,' the Romans... 'Aquaman.'

Sea Captain · Bart:Do you think your mother will every remarry? In about two seconds.

Captain · Bart:Do you think your mother will every remarry? In about two seconds.

Reverend Lovejoy:All we do know is they're in heaven now, hanging their lines off a cloud and fishing for airplanes.

Homer:The hell we are!

Homer:The hell we are!

Homer:Oh, my God, it's beautiful!

Homer:I can't go back to living on the surface world! I can't!

Lisa:I always wanted to do that in a New England church.

Lisa:I always wanted to do that in a New England church.

Truck driver:These logs have to go to Larry Flynt's paper mill, where they'll be made into Hustler and Barely Legal magazines.

Truck driver · Lisa:These logs have to go to Larry Flynt's paper mill, where they'll be made into Hustler and Barely Legal magazines. This is not what I wanted at all.