Itchy Amp Scratchy The Movie

Captain's log. Stardate 6051. Had trouble sleeping last night. My hiatal hernia is acting up. The ship is drafty and damp. I complain, but nobody listens.

Star Trek XI: So Very Tired

It's no good, Captain. I cannot reach the control panel.

Movies! What a rip-off! I don't have to sit here and take this! I-- [Snoring]

What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad? - Poisoned pizza.

Oh, no. I'm not making two stops.

Is it 37? - D'oh! I mean, no.

U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

[Flatulent Noise] - [Gasps]

replacing my birth control pills with Tic Tacs

I did read to her. '8:00. Happy Days. The Fonz, Henry Winkler... is worried he's losing his cool.'

Well, I've always been a firm believer in the three 'Rs'-- reading TV Guide, um... writing to TV Guide and renewing TV Guide.

Over the lips and past the gums-- look out dentures, here I come.

'Where's the Beef?' [Chuckles] 'Where's the Beef?'

We're talking about Bart! - Oh. That guy.

Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Berger-- Mmm, burger.

All right, ladies. Prepare to be blown away By Bang Bang Bart. [Dance music] [Pistols Firing]

You're fat! - Just more of me to love, honey.

Boy, time really flies when you're reading-- The Bible? Ew.

You already put me in a home. - Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes.

Dad, you and your stories. 'Bart broke my teeth.' 'The nurses are stealing my money.' 'This thing on my neck is getting bigger.'

Young man, since you broke Grampa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Oh, this is gonna be sweet.

Yeah, right. Like you're gonna let me go hungry. I'll be eating that pizza in five minutes.

I'm starving! Somebody bring me some food quick! - I'm a-comin', boy!

Don't tell your mother, but I brought you some pizza. Just promise me you'll try to be good. - I promise. - That-a-boy.

[Chuckling] Sucker.

Well, well. If it isn't the tooth fairy.

Indeed I did. [Goats bleating] D'oh! Hey, you goats get out of here!

Or you could let me go play with Milhouse... while you spend the afternoon watching unpredictable Mexican sitcoms.

¡Ay, el estómago! [Chuckles] Run along, you little scamp.

Wait a minute! [Gasps] Ice cream truck!

Oh, yeah. The trick is... to say you're prejudiced against all races.

How could you let this happen? - How could you let this happen? - I wasn't here. - Oh, how convenient.

Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren? - Earl Warren wasn't a stripper. - Now who's being naive?

[Hiccups] Kill me. [Hiccups] Kill me.

a year when you might have seen Al Capone... dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole.

Oh, isn't that cute. A baby driving a car. And look. There's a dog driving a bus.

[Groans] Oh, no! Beta!

Can't you just give me a spanking? Come on. Go nuts.

How would you've liked it if someone told you That you couldn't watch the moon landing?

I regret nothing!

So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

TV sucks. - I know you're upset right now, so I'll pretend you didn't say that!

No matter how good a movie is, it can't compare... to the imagination of a small boy.

Of course, they didn't use their real names, But you could tell it was them.

No one who saw the movie would say that! - Let's get him!

He has the demented melancholia Of a Tennessee Williams heroine.

If I fail, the best he could do... is judge at a Mr. Tight Buns competition.

Tomorrow, a new movie starring Liza Minnelli and Mickey Rourke will open. Will it be as successful? Only time will tell.

One senior citizen and one chief justice Of the Supreme Court.

One Soylent Green, hold the butter. - Mmm. Soylent Green.

Which one's the mouse? - Itchy. - Itchy's a jerk.