Treehouse Of Horror Iii

there are some crybabies out there-- religious types mostly-- who might be offended

Come on. I dare ya. [ Clucking ] Chicken.

That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples. Ooh, fuzzy.

Behold mighty Caesar... in all his glory! D'oh!

I am Calliope, the muse of heroic poetry. No kiddin'.

Stupid party. Wish we was trick-or-treating.

Yo, Mom. We haven't got the eyeballs yet.

Homer, you're ruining it. Yeah, well, it was an evil game.

A doll... from hell!

I didn't earn it. I don't need it. But if they miss one payment, I'll raise hell!

We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt.

But it comes with a free frogurt. That's good. The frogurt is also cursed. That's bad. But you get your choice of topping. That's good! The toppings contain potassium benzoate. That's bad. Can I go now?

That doll is evil, I tells ya. Evil! E-E-Evil! Grampa, you said that about all the presents. I just want attention.

scientists have announced that Springfield's air... is now only dangerous to children and the elderly. Whoo-hoo!

I'm Krusty the Clown, and I don't like you. I'm Krusty the Clown, and I'm going to kill you.

I'd say that the pressure's finally gotten to Dad, but what pressure?

There goes the last lingering thread Of my heterosexuality.

I was a fool to think anyone would want Nude photos of Whoopi Goldberg.

Your doll is trying to kill my husband! Yes, I'll hold.

Yep, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to 'evil.'

Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk. Yeah, you stupid idiot.

Homer made me give him a sponge bath. [ Shudders ]

Homer, I've coughed up scarier stuff than that.

That's a lie, and you know it! But I have seen a lot of movies.

I think women and seamen don't mix. We know what you think.

I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island. Candy Apple Island? What do they got there? Apes, but they're not so big.

We wouldn't think Of going without the bait. Uh, that is, the bait-thing beauty. The bathing beauty. I covered that up pretty well.

we wouldn't dream of sacrificing the blue-haired woman. Oh, well, isn't that-- Whoa!

D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!

Hey, Homer, cut it out. Come on, quit eating me.

Well, the ape's going to stand around for three hours or so. Then we'll close with the ethnic comedy Of Dugan and Dershowitz.

Wow! Look at the size Of that platform!

Come on. What's he gonna do? Run amok in downtown Springfield?

I said one!

I'm dreading the reviews. I can tell you that.

Maybe you should eat more vegetables and less people.

I remember when Al Jolson ran amok at the Winter Garden and climbed the Chrysler Building. After that, he couldn't get arrested in this town.

I can't find your father. Oh, Homer.

Folks, if you could just stop cleaning each other for a second.

Now, kids, instead of candy... I thought I'd serve an array of healthy fresh fruits. Fruit is nature's candy.

Hey, hi, fellow Halloweenies. Did I scaredely-dareya?

Nice try, Mr. Flanders, but I've got a story so scary... you'll wet your pants. Too late.

Man, he's just not trying anymore.

Run over by the mayor's beer-swilling brother, Clovis.

Cullen. Rayburn. Narz. Trebek. Zabar, Kresge, Caldor, Wal-Mart!

Please, Lise, they prefer to be called 'the living impaired.'

Did you wreck the car? No. Did you raise the dead? Yes! But the car's okay? Uh-huh. All right, then.

Homer, did you barricade the door? Why? Oh, the zombies. No.

Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders. He was a zombie?

Wow, George Washington! Take that, Washington! Eat lead, Einstein. Show's over, Shakespeare! Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?

I'm not a zombie. But hey-- when in Rome.

Still pushin' that boulder? Uh-huh.

Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies. Shh! TV. Man fall down. Funny.