Liz insists that she and Drew have their first official date on Valentine's Day. Elisa brings Jack to church to celebrate the day, which is very different from the way he traditionally celebrates. Kenneth employs the help of Tracy to try to win the affection of a new worker.
Valentine's episode sustains 82-point pace with 48 jokes across character comedy and wordplay.
Directed by Don Scardino · Written by Jack Burditt, Tina Fey
WAR
51.6
Wins Above Replacement
“St. Valentines Day” ranks #105 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.1 — Elite. The episode packs 48 scored jokes at 2.4 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Jack landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kenneth: And when I'm with you, my heart jumps like a frog on July asphalt right before it dies.
Kenneth Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Do I? I wouldn't have this job if it weren't for the mouth on my back.
Kenneth Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: I hit my mother with a car... possibly by accident.
Jack Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Jack: And... I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics.
Jack Dark/Subversive Escalation Jack: Jonathan... our Jonathan, who art in the office hallowed be my reservation. If you are able... hold my table at Plunder as we will not be there by seven.
Jack Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 48 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Drew: Good morning, Regular Person Lemon.
Drew Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Liz: Saturday is Valentine's Day? Norts!
Liz Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Drew: You sound so sexy when you say that. Say it again.
Drew Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jack · Elisa: These McFlurries are amazing. I know-- the soft swirl of vanilla and the hard crunch of candy and cookies. You'd think they'd fight each other, but no. Together, they are perfecto.
Elisa: Don't tell me you're one of those convenient Catholics that only goes to church every Sunday.
Elisa Irony/Sarcasm Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Do I? I wouldn't have this job if it weren't for the mouth on my back.
Kenneth Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: I'm just funning, it's all sewed up.
Tracy Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jennifer: Is everything okay? Because now, I smell burnt plastic.
Liz: There is handsomeness involved.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack · Liz: Slut buster? / No, not a ball player.
Jack: If I had those knockers, I'd be thanking God, too.
Jack Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Liz: I don't know. Have you ever put a donut in the microwave?
Liz Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Liz: Thanks. I found it at Dunkin... wait a minute.
Liz Reaction Beat Character Comedy Tracy: Ken, you need to snap out of it and ask out that sexy Ms. Magoo.
Tracy Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Kenneth: Okay, there is something about Jennifer that just makes me all carsick inside.
Kenneth Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Well, cotton and fiddles. I enjoy your smile.
Kenneth Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Jennifer: Yes, indeedy corncobs?
Kenneth: It's a Valentine's date-li-doo!
Kenneth Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Liz: It's my own recipe where I use cheddar cheese instead of water.
Liz Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Liz: Well, it's just gotten so small that I kind of want to see if it disappears.
Liz Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Liz: Okay. Well, I guess we just... jumped ahead to date four. It's not the good one, either.
Liz Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jack: Jonathan... our Jonathan, who art in the office hallowed be my reservation. If you are able... hold my table at Plunder as we will not be there by seven.
Jack Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Liz: Oh, cheese stew. What was I thinking?
Liz Character Comedy Reaction Beat Callback Liz: The draft made the door fly open! I know. It's not a big deal. So, we skipped from date four to date... 20.
Liz Physical/Slapstick Escalation Callback Liz: Mandy? Is that, like, a guy friend, like Mandy Patinkin?
Liz Wordplay/Pun Observational Drew: You will see her. You will say she's cute. But let me just say that she is... complicated.
Drew Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Bethany: Mom's keying your car.
Bethany Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Drew: Because, honey, you keep setting fire to things.
Drew Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jack: Okay, here's how this is going to go. We're going to sit here in silence for about three minutes. Then, I'm going to take my girlfriend to Plunder where the Pope himself could not get a table.
Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Kenneth · Jennifer: I didn't know it was a French restaurant. Yes, I found it on my favorite website StopShowingOff.com.
Jack: I have faith... in things I can see and buy and deregulate. Capitalism is my religion.
Jack Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jack: I hit my mother with a car... possibly by accident.
Jack Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Jack: And... I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics.
Jack Dark/Subversive Escalation Priest: I need backup! Harvard did not prepare me for this.
Priest Reaction Beat Setup/Punchline Bethany: Blue is for showing your boobs. Purple is for doing stuff over your clothes. Black is for doing stuff...
Bethany Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive Jack: Wow, he does not sound good live.
Jack Observational Setup/Punchline Elisa · Jack: You know what your problem is, Jack? You intellectualize everything with your big head. Well, you have big boobs.
Elisa: the patron saint of judgmental statues.
Elisa Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Jack: What kind of God would let that happen?
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Hospital Worker: I'm sorry... is this, like, a 'Sixth Sense' thing? Should I bring a place setting for your friend?
Drew's Mother: The woman he thinks is his sister is really his mother. I'm his grandmother.
Jennifer: Kenneth, why do you suddenly sound white?
Kenneth: And when I'm with you, my heart jumps like a frog on July asphalt right before it dies.
Kenneth Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Kenneth · Jennifer · Tracy: That is cold, blind lady! Oh, and by the way... you are not so attractive, yourself. No, I'm... I'm pretty sure I'm hot. Yes, you are. I tried.
Drew: You know, my mom did just die. Funny story.
Drew Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Jack: You know where I found it? In the collection plate. It was a sign.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Jack: I believe that we were reunited by the most successful capitalist enterprise of the last hundred years despite the McLean Deluxe or the McEmu.
Jack Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Jack: Boy, I hope that guy's not planning to kill and eat her.
Jack Dark/Subversive Reaction Beat 