Debrie

DeBrie · Tobias:DeBrie eats all the butter at the table — Tobias tries to improvise a scene with her. 'Oh, I'm out. She's too good. I don't know who my guy is. I don't have a guy.'

DeBrie:And I made it in that movie, the Fantastic Four, but it wasn't fantastic for me. / I got carried away. / And I'm like, 'This is up, and I've got to get my together or I'm gonna be too.'

Tobias · DeBrie:Okay, notes. First of all, it seemed you were slurring a bit there, and I just think you'd have so much more fun punching those words. / 'This is up, sir.' / I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with the piece, so...

DeBrie:I almost never get recognized as the Invisible Girl. / I can't believe you saw me.

Tobias · DeBrie · Bystander:Hey, maybe she came into this Light Bulbs Unlimited. / She was here a minute ago. / This is the gayest Starbucks ever! / Did his fishing line break, too?

DeBrie:Carl Weathers used to give us grape juice. But then he'd add $5 to our credit card.

Tobias · DeBrie:Well, here is to our acting addiction. Yep. May we never be cured.

Tobias · DeBrie:DeBrie, are you crying? Oh, I'm crying. Oh, it's a nosebleed.

DeBrie:Marky Bark, sometimes he doesn't know when I'm in the same room. / And sometimes it feels like it's not the face blindness, you know?

DeBrie · Tobias:You're a doctor, and you're out of work. / Well... / You can write scripts? / Well, I like to think so. / You should never give up a dream if you can write scripts.

Tobias · DeBrie:Well, I like to think so. You should never give up a dream if you can write scripts. You seem like you'd be a good doctor-actor.

DeBrie · Narrator:You remind me of Billy Crystal... / It would have broken Tobias' heart if he'd known she was about to say 'Billy Crystal Meth,' a funny drug dealer.

DeBrie · Narrator:You remind me of Billy Crystal... / Once again, she was going to say, 'Billy Crystal Meth.'

Tobias · DeBrie:Did you see my license plate, 'A-N-U-S-T-A-R-T'? / Did you see my StraightBait movie of the same name?

Tobias · DeBrie:Can I just improv my way out of a marriage? / Yes, and let's do this. / Blackout.

Narrator · DeBrie · Tobias:If you're wondering what 'too' referred to, it was this... / Let's do this. / Blackout. / And scene, as they say. / Her heart stopped! She's dying!

Tobias · DeBrie · Doctor:You didn't tell me you had a drug problem. / We met at a methadone clinic. / Are you high? We met at an acting class. / The Method One... / There it is. I'm gonna let you guys hash this out.

Tobias · DeBrie:When I first saw StraightBait, there were two men making love, but I couldn't take my eyes off of you. / You watched StraightBait? / Oh, just two, four and nine.

DeBrie · Tobias:You watched StraightBait? Oh, just two, four and nine.

DeBrie · Tobias:I do have a law degree. / I know, I know, and I'm a doctor. But no, let's not settle.

DeBrie · Tobias:Can they really make us leave Hollywood Boulevard? / Well, apparently in this instance, paper beats rock. / You have a rock? / No, I am your rock now.

DeBrie · Tobias:We're broke. / But you can't sell your Fantastic Four costume. I mean, that would be like a fisherman selling his fishing costume.

DeBrie · Tobias:No, I was gonna have sex with him. / For money. / What? No. Put that back on.

DeBrie · Tobias:Hey, I'm not a thing. / Hey, I am a thing.

DeBrie · Tobias:You turned it down? Mmm-hmm. / I almost a guy for a hamburger, and you turned down $120,000 a year?

Tobias · DeBrie:After all, a doctor in India told me that I have the gift to make people laugh. / Why are you crying? / You're worse than Marky. He couldn't see me, but you can't hear me.

DeBrie:You're worse than Marky. He couldn't see me, but you can't hear me.

DeBrie · Argyle · Tobias:DeBrie: 'I was in The Fantasticks.' / Argyle: 'Well...' / Tobias: 'Look at that. My sister and I played the young lovers.'

Tobias · DeBrie:DeBrie vomits on stage / loses a tooth — Tobias: 'Well, that's a good luck sign on Broadway. On the East Coast it's break a leg, on the West Coast it's lose a tooth.'

Tobias · DeBrie:DeBrie does one arm wave. Tobias: 'One move. Let's work with that. Let's use that. Or no move. Good. The power. And she's disappearing as we dance.'

Lucille · DeBrie:♪ 'I don't want to be invisible...' ♪ — DeBrie singing while Lucille critique-watches: 'Is anyone going to tell her she needs to lose weight? Because I'm not buying invisible, and you don't want to be out there on a raft that's listing.'

DeBrie · Lucille · Narrator:DeBrie falls — 'Oh, DeBrie.' / 'Or ankle or knee.' — Narrator: 'And so DeBrie, who had been in the safe harbor of a drug-free zone, found herself in the free drug zone of an unsafe harbor.'

DeBrie · Tobias:DeBrie: 'I think I need some drugs.' Tobias: 'No, it's okay, that's okay, no drugs are necessary. We all want drugs, but that's a no-no, yes?'

Tobias · DeBrie:Tobias to DeBrie (finding her high on the ground): 'How could you do this to me? Or did I do this to you?' / DeBrie: 'You to me.' / Tobias: 'I should have left you happy and healthy and sober in that rehab...'

Tobias · DeBrie:Tobias: 'Before I go any further with this, there's no way a hot cup of coffee and a glass of the show must go on spirit will encourage you in any way, will it?' / DeBrie: 'Let me die.'

Lucille Bluth · Tobias Fünke · DeBrie:She missed a step. Tell her she missed a step. / She can't do it like that. / ... on people's feelings. / Oh, uh, DeBrie, you might have missed a step, so...

Ma Bark · Tobias · DeBrie:I guess you earned your shower. / Ugh. This thing does not breathe. / I'll tell you who doesn't bitch like that, your son. / I'll give you 500 bucks cash for this youngin' right now.

Tobias · DeBrie:You're missing some back teeth, there. / Yeah. Just like that.

Lucille · DeBrie:Maybe if you turn away from the bleachers and cover your face with your hand... / I'm sure that's not the first time you've been told that. / Oh, God, no.

Tobias · DeBrie:DeBrie's internal struggle — not too shy, not shy. No... happy, good. Good, happy, not sad. Shy. Sad, shy. Sad...

Tobias · DeBrie:Help! Please! We need a doctor! It's an emergency. Hi. It's us again. Help! / Did you redo the floors here? / Help, we need a doctor. Oh! / It's okay. She's usually on pain pills.

DeBrie · Tobias · Doctor:DeBrie: I'm under the impression that if you're carried in they put you immediately on the morphine drip? / That's what we've been told before. / We prioritize according to need. / Of course.

DeBrie · Tobias:Oh, bullshit you didn't redo these floors. They look amazing. / Help! / I got to stop coming out this way.

Tobias · Murphybrown · DeBrie:On the next Arrested Development: Tobias's 'tent city' is a mall food court. 'We need to keep a low profile.' / 'We could always go to the food court.' / 'Maybe we can ask them to turn down the birds.'

DeBrie · Mark Cherry:'I just wanted to get out of doing things like Straightbait. I just couldn't do another group scene, but I love staying at Tent City.'

DeBrie · Mark Cherry:'Yes, but that turned out to be a travel and adventure store. And we were squatting right in the middle of their summer two-for-one.'

DeBrie · Maeby:DeBrie forces a group hug: 'Hug. Hug. Hug, DeBrie. Group hug.'

Tobias · DeBrie:Tobias explains that DeBrie blew their cover at the Spotted Palm 'by looking at her cellular telephone without holding it at arm's length and putting on her readers first.'

Tobias · DeBrie · Murphybrown:The troupe improvises an explanation for 'Annette's death' — she was 'gored' in the running of the bulls in a place where 'an animal took off with the body so fast you couldn't get it back'

DeBrie · George Michael:DeBrie: 'And I knew him. Did I tell you that story when Mr. Weinstein killed my ficus in the '80s? When he came over to audition me for...' George Michael: 'Yes. We all know DeBrie Bardeaux snagged a private audition with Harvey Weinstein.' DeBrie: 'Yeah, but I came on too strong, so I didn't get the part.'