George Sr., Lucille and Maeby give honesty a try. Good news becomes bad for George-Michael. Michael remembers there's always money ... somewhere.
Mid-season slump: 46 jokes land at 70.9, the season's lowest impact score.
Directed by Troy Miller · Written by Evan Mann, Gareth Reynolds
WAR
29.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Check Mates” ranks #84 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 70.9 — Solid. The episode packs 46 scored jokes at 1.5 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with George Sr. landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Michael · George Michael: Michael finds George Michael was paid as 'Payment of two drums of dried George Michael' - 'A cocoa-based, non-digestive colorant'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'I lost this face when I was 65.'
George Sr. Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback George Sr.: George Sr.: 'Uh, not the regular ones; the Mexican Romneys.'
George Michael: George Michael: 'some guy who's obviously incredibly rich and has $3 million to drop on a .wav file that's just the sound of a piece of wood'
Lucille: Lucille: 'It was like the opposite of Pinocchio. I swear, I think my nose got smaller.'
Lucille Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 46 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Oscar · George Michael: Oscar and his son both confess they knew they weren't fugitives but pretended to be to spend time together
Oscar: Oscar's three activity choices are all variations of staying inside: 'lay down inside, get scared of the dark inside, or play hide-and-go-seek inside'
Oscar Character Comedy Absurdist Oscar: Oscar's ultimatum: 'it's me or the weed'
Oscar Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Oscar: Oscar saying 'Outside, outside, outside...' repeatedly
Oscar Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick George Sr.: George Sr.: 'You have burned so many phones talking to us'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'Hey, is this music to you guys? I mean, do you really hear this as music?'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'We did not expect you to know that.'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'Well, but, the banks are closed, you know, tomorrow being the seventh.'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'The doctors give him three months to...' then immediately: 'We spent all your money.'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'Uh, not the regular ones; the Mexican Romneys.'
George Sr.: George Sr.'s escalating confessions: 'And I think she's a surfer, and I can't get hard.'
Chinese Investor: Chinese investor: 'That is more than enough honesty.'
Chinese Investor: Chinese investor: 'Oh, noodle stab. I mean...'
George Sr.: George Sr.: 'Three million dollars. I mean, that gets... gets rid of a lot of... lot of shame. I mean, there would still be shame.'
Chinese investors: The Chinese investors' unexpected offer of money to help the Bluths 'save face' after their confession
Michael: Michael: 'Whoops! Force of habit.' when getting off on his son's floor
Michael Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: Gob: 'Did somebody wonder if somebody else made Gob the president? I wonder.'
Gob Character Comedy Absurdist Michael: Michael: 'Catchphrase could use some pruning.'
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement Employee: Employee confusion about George Michael vs George Maharis identity, leading to 'He's a singer, I think. Like, a gay one.'
Employee Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Employee: Employee: 'Once you're gay, you're gay, Michael! God, Michael's so stupid. Everybody's gonna see.'
George Michael: George Michael: 'No, I keep getting Catwoman.' when asked about getting an intern
Michael · George Michael: Michael finds George Michael was paid as 'Payment of two drums of dried George Michael' - 'A cocoa-based, non-digestive colorant'
Michael · George Michael: Discovery that the check is from the Cayman Islands, not the banana stand
Dusty: Dusty: 'Dusty's an expert on Orient... Uh... Asian inscrutability.'
Dusty Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort George Sr.: George Sr.: 'I lost this face when I was 65.'
George Sr. Wordplay/Pun Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Dusty: Dusty: 'You said we'd get ice cream.'
Stan: Stan: 'Stan, turn down Wayne Brady!' 'I surely couldn't.'
Stan Character Comedy Absurdist DeBrie: DeBrie: 'I just wanted to get out of doing things like Straightbait.'
DeBrie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy DeBrie: DeBrie: 'I just couldn't do another group scene, but I love staying at Tent City.'
DeBrie Character Comedy Misdirection Tobias · Narrator: Tobias to Maeby: 'Cause you're rather quite attractive for an older lady.' Narrator: 'That is your half-sister.'
Tobias: Tobias: 'Does she have, like, a half-daughter?'
Tobias Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Michael: Michael: 'That's gotta be from South Park.' about the banana stand money catchphrase
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Michael: 'That's gotta be from South Park'
Michael Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: Gob: 'Exactly to not answer these questions.' about hiring a president
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm George Michael: George Michael's motivational speech turning knots in stomach into 'why-nots'
Employee: Employee: 'Well, we can't let him get away with this. Well, why not?' turning the motivational phrase against George Michael
George Michael: George Michael: 'some guy who's obviously incredibly rich and has $3 million to drop on a .wav file that's just the sound of a piece of wood'
Lucille: Lucille: 'It was like the opposite of Pinocchio. I swear, I think my nose got smaller.'
Lucille Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback George Sr.: George Sr.: 'Well, wouldn't have been the first time.' responding to Lucille's nose comment
George Sr. Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Michael: Michael's B.S. Enterprises explanation: 'It was 'Banana Stand,' but it's also got a second meaning. Bullshit. Bluth and Son.'
Michael Wordplay/Pun Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Gob · Oscar: Gob introducing Oscar: 'Please say hello to my new right-hand man!' while Oscar only has his left hand
Gob Oscar Visual Gag Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: Gob: 'if somebody's willing to spend 3KK on my company, might be able to spread wealth on myself'
Gob Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Lindsay: Lindsay: 'Steve McQueen from The Great Escape.' as greeting to Buster
Lindsay Character Comedy Observational Gob: Gob: 'Is this because I'm still gay? 'Cause the conversion didn't take?' when Hot Cops arrive
Gob Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Gob: Gob: 'Leave a message for Hot Cops! How'd you like to make a fifth of a K?' thinking he hired them
Gob Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Gob: 'How'd you like to make a fifth of a K?' on Gob's voicemail
Gob Character Comedy Callback Callback Top Episodes — Arrested Development