Check Mates

Oscar:Oscar and his son both confess they knew they weren't being chased, but each pretended for the other's sake

Oscar:Oscar lists the activity options for his son while he's inside: 'lay down inside, get scared of the dark inside, or play hide-and-go-seek inside'

Oscar:Oscar delivers an ultimatum: 'I don't like the smell of marijuana or your behavior when I've caught you, so it's me or the weed.'

Oscar:Oscar immediately runs outside yelling 'Hello!' as soon as he signs out

Oscar:Oscar immediately goes back outside chanting 'Outside, outside, outside, outside, outside...'

Narrator · George Sr. · Lucille:Narrator: 'George and Lucille were finally having dinner with their wall investors, and they were waiting for the right opportunity to lie about why they couldn't build it.'

George Sr. · Lucille:'The least we can do is pick up the check. You have burned so many phones talking to us.'

George Sr. · Lucille · Chinese Investors:George and Lucille try to use Lindsay losing the election as their excuse not to build the wall, only to be told Sally Sitwell publicly supports the wall

George Sr. · Lucille:'We did not expect you to know that.'

Narrator · George Sr.:Narrator: '...George Sr. had no choice but to tell a lie with the word 'truth' in it.'

George Sr. · Lucille:'Well, but, the banks are closed, you know, tomorrow being the seventh.'

George Sr.:George confesses the truth — beginning with 'which is what my son insisted we do from the start' and then pivoting to: 'The doctors give him three months to...'

George Sr.:'Uh, not the regular ones; the Mexican Romneys.'

George Sr.:'And my wife is leaving me, and I don't know what to do. And I think she's a surfer, and I can't get hard.'

Chinese Investors:'That is more than enough honesty.'

Narrator · Chinese Investors · George Sr. · Lucille:Honesty unexpectedly rewards George and Lucille with a $3 million 'monetary gift for removing shame'

George Sr. · Lucille:'I mean, there would still be shame. Yeah, I mean, we had shame walking in the door, but, I mean, wow...'

George Sr. · Lucille:The Bluths immediately have an offshore Cayman Islands account ready for the wire transfer — 'She's got that.'

Narrator · Michael:Michael 'got off on his son's floor, which he claimed was a force of habit'

Maeby · Fakeblock Employee:The Fakeblock employees are playing games instead of working because 'the new president thinks it's good for morale' — but 'we'd rather get paid'

George Michael:'The new president gave you checks. You just can't, uh, cash 'em.'

Gob:Gob's presidential catchphrase: 'Did somebody wonder... if somebody else made Gob the president? I wonder.'

Fakeblock Employee:Employee: 'He's a singer, I think. Like, a gay one. And, you know, you can't convert that away, but yeah...' about George Michael (the singer)

Gob:'Once you're gay, you're gay, Michael! God, Michael's so stupid. Everybody's gonna see.'

George Michael:'No, I keep getting Catwoman.' (in response to 'Can't you get an intern?')

George Michael:'It's the thread-count question. It's gotta be the thread-count question.'

Michael · George Michael:The paycheck from the banana stand turns out to be made out to 'George Michael' as a 'topping' — 'Payment of two drums of dried George Michael. A cocoa-based, non-digestive colorant.'

Michael · George Michael:'There's always money in the banana stand.' / 'Right. Where is that from? Is that from something?'

George Michael · Michael:George Michael notices the banana stand income never appears in the books — which leads to discovering the Cayman Islands check

George Michael · Michael:'That's an island. This is a check from the Cayman Islands.'

Michael:Michael tries to reclaim the Cayman Islands check: 'But, uh, give it to me. It's not even for you. It's for toppings.'

George Sr. · Dusty:Dusty is introduced as an expert on 'Orient... Uh... Asian inscrutability. Very good.'

George Sr.:'I lost this face when I was 65. I'm keeping the money.'

Dusty · George Sr.:'Hard to hear, I know. But there's freedom for you in the exchange.' / 'You said we'd get ice cream. I have to get Dusty ice cream.'

Maeby · Stan:'Stan, turn down Wayne Brady!' / 'I surely couldn't.'

DeBrie · Mark Cherry:'I just wanted to get out of doing things like Straightbait. I just couldn't do another group scene, but I love staying at Tent City.'

DeBrie · Mark Cherry:'Yes, but that turned out to be a travel and adventure store. And we were squatting right in the middle of their summer two-for-one.'

Mark Cherry · Maeby:Mark Cherry says to Maeby: 'You're rather quite attractive for an older lady.' Maeby responds: 'That is your half-sister.'

Mark Cherry:'Okay, the party. 'Cause I was gonna say, does she have, like, a half-daughter?'

Maeby · Stan:Maeby is cornered by her boyfriend Stan asking if these are her family — and she admits yes

Stan:Stan responds to meeting Maeby's family by saying 'I shall pack my things' — and apparently leaves immediately

Maeby:'Well, that was a freebie. Now I just gotta figure out how to get rid of you guys.'

DeBrie · Maeby:DeBrie forces a group hug: 'Hug. Hug. Hug, DeBrie. Group hug.'

Michael:Michael narrates to himself: 'Where are you, banana stand money?'

Michael:Michael finds the 'there's always money in the banana stand' inscription — then concludes: 'That's gotta be from South Park.'

Gob:Gob's 'motivational speech' to employees: describing a 'knot in my stomach' as 'a little ball of energy' that 'keeps me frightened when I should be calm' and 'pumps adrenaline when ordinary blood is what I need'

Gob:'People say you shouldn't start a company without cracking the technology that supports the flagship product of the company. For obvious reasons. Well, why not?'

Gob:'And what if you find out you're never gonna get paid, there is no product, and you're like, Well, we can't let him get away with this. Well, why not? That may have been a step too far.'

Maeby · George Michael:Maeby announces she sold Fakeblock for $3 million — exactly the same amount as the Chinese investment money

George Michael · Maeby:'I feel bad for the new owner. It's bogus software. I mean, what if it bankrupts them?' / 'Oh, click. How sorry can you feel for some guy who's obviously incredibly rich and has $3 million to drop on a .wav file that's just the sound of a piece of wood.'

Gob:Gob continues his speech: 'We had those checks issued to you, and you're thinking, We want to cash those checks. Well, why not? Why the hell not? Cash those checks.'

Michael:Michael on his mother's sudden warmth: 'That's what's off.'

George Sr. · Lucille:'The truth came out of my mouth as easy as any lie I could've thought of. She was so believable. I thought she was lying. It was like the opposite of Pinocchio. I swear, I think my nose got smaller.'

Lucille:'It was like the opposite of Pinocchio. I swear, I think my nose got smaller. Well, wouldn't have been the first time.'

George Sr. · Michael:George Sr. claims he 'dug a little bit deeper and found some extra capital' — Michael asks how much; scene is interrupted before the answer lands

George Sr. · Lucille:George Sr. admits he's 'dug a little bit deeper and found some extra capital' — which turns out to be the Chinese investors' face-saving money

Michael · George Michael · Narrator:Michael anticipates George Michael's disappointment about Fakeblock — 'as George Michael prepared himself for his father's disappointment' — and then Michael erupts: 'You what? That's so great!'

Michael · George Michael:'Mr. Big Business, sold your company. How do you feel?' / 'To be honest, I feel incredibly relieved... We had to pay off the employees, and the bank took the rest of it, but I'm glad I'm back at zero.'

George Sr. · Lucille:'Did this by himself. All that burden on your shoulders. No one to help you. A little baby Atlas.'

George Sr.:'Find a little extra money, put it in a Bluth.' — George Sr.'s company motto

Michael:Michael bought Fakeblock through 'B.S. Enterprises' — which stands for 'Banana Stand' but is also 'Bullshit' and 'Bluth and Son'

Michael:'I bought you! I had to use a shell company because I knew you were gonna give me a discount, and I wasn't gonna have that.'

Michael:'I'm not gonna get involved in any of that tech stuff, even though I did spend that couple of months at the Search campus. But I'm not gonna start coding, 'cause if Fakeblock doesn't work, we lose both companies for good.'

Michael:'You thought it was over. Look how emotional he is, huh?... Listen, that's why I stepped in. Fakeblock ain't going nowhere.'

Michael · George Sr. · Lucille:The episode's escalating 'mildly displeased' callback — Michael says he's 'mildly displeased' echoing Dusty's warning; George Sr. says 'they will be mildly displeased'; everyone uses the phrase

Michael:'You just can't say I made a good decision. Dad, I'm mildly displeased about something. This. This is what I spent your money on. Look at him.'

Michael:'Dad, I'm mildly displeased about something.' — Michael uses the exact phrase to his father in a completely different (minor) context

George Michael:George Michael confirms to the room: 'Fakeblock is real. It's a... It's a very weird way to say it, but, you know, Fakeblock, it's real.'

George Michael · George Sr. · Lucille:'This is the best investment this family has made in years.' / 'I feel sick.' / 'I've felt better.'

Gob · George Sr. · Lucille · Michael:'Wait till you find out who the new president is.' / 'Oh, no.' / 'Did somebody say, Wait until you find out who the president is? Yes, but then we figured it out, and your father said, Oh, no.' — Gob's revised entrance

Michael · George Sr. · Lucille:'So we've got $3 million tied up in something Gob's in charge of?' / 'Maybe we could just hire him, like, a really good assistant.' / 'One step ahead of you.'

Gob · Buster · Lucille:Lucille has recruited Buster as Gob's 'right-hand man' — but Buster only has a hook for a hand. Gob notes: 'That would've been better if it was his right hand.'

Gob:'But I figured, if somebody's willing to spend 3KK on my company, might be able to spread wealth on myself.'

Gob:'Did my hand get off on this floor?' — Gob's geo-bead/George Michael misfire immediately after Buster arrives

Michael · Oscar:Oscar re-emerges: 'Well, look who finally decided to show up. Steve McQueen from The Great Escape.' / 'I take it you saw the unwanted posters?' / 'Yes, and I got the hint. No one was chasing after me.'

Oscar:Oscar says 'I take it you saw the unwanted posters?' — referring to the 'UNWANTED' posters that apparently signaled no one was looking for him

Oscar:'Yes, well, that parade created a great deal of... pain for a lot of us.' — Oscar trails off meaningfully while the show plays 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow' (implied)

Gob:Hot Cops arrive — Gob thinks they're a surprise he orchestrated. 'Who did this? Is this because I'm still gay? Hot Cops? On such short notice? Who did this? 'Cause the conversion didn't take?'

Gob:Gob tries to call Hot Cops while being arrested: 'Leave a message for Hot Cops! How'd you like to make a fifth of a K?'

Narrator:Narrator: 'But the real cops weren't out of business and were about to stumble on a big piece of evidence.' — Cut to police discovering something

Narrator · Police Officer:Cop: 'Well, now I've seen it all.' — as Gob dances with a boom box

Gob · Narrator:Tag scene: Gob continues to sing well after the family realizes Buster is being arrested; on the next AD: 'Gob continues to sing'

Unknown:Final tag: 'I'm gonna take the stairs.' — a character's exit line after Buster's arrest