Fleabag celebrates Godmother and Dad’s engagement and is intrigued by their new Priest, but the evening comes to stormy end when old tensions resurface.
WAR
117
Wins Above Replacement
“Episode 1” ranks #8 of 12 Fleabag episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 95.5 — Elite. The episode packs 76 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Fleabag landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Claire: Just get your hands off my miscarriage! It's mine.
Claire Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Priest: I'm aware of the irony of that.
Priest Dark/Subversive Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Godmother · Priest: No, it's not that. Is he not in the Church? No, he's not in the Church. Oh, it must be so hard! Well, it's mainly hard... Is it cos he's Mummy's favourite? Because he's a paedophile.
Fleabag: I opened a café with my friend Boo. Yeah, she's dead now.
Fleabag Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Fleabag: This is a love story.
Fleabag Meta/Self-Referential Misdirection ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 76 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Fleabag: I opened a café with my friend Boo. Yeah, she's dead now.
Fleabag Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Fleabag: She's beautiful! [referring to Hilary, likely a guinea pig or animal, while mum is mentioned as dead]
Fleabag Absurdist Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Mum died three years ago. Loo, doo, ooh, badoo!
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Dad's way of coping with two motherless daughters was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures, start fucking our Godmother and eventually stop calling.
Fleabag Escalation Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Jake's her step-son, he's really weird. Probably clinically but no one really talk about that.
Fleabag Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Fleabag · Claire · Martin: Your husband tried to kiss me on your birthday... He says it was more like the other way around.
Fleabag · Claire: Martin's being lovely. [Martin immediately identified as Always drunk]
Fleabag: This is a love story.
Fleabag Meta/Self-Referential Misdirection ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Do you wanna have sex? No. Can I at least go down on you? No!
Fleabag: Congratulations, you assholes.
Fleabag Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Dad: Dad's wedding toast devolving into extended verbal paralysis: 'So, uh, it means a great deal to both of us that, uh you... that we... the family, are... are... uh... are all... together here for, uh... For a very special family...'
Dad Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence Priest: May these be the worst of our days.
Priest Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Don't know who this guy is.
Fleabag Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Fleabag · Unknown guest: You look well, where've you been? Boots. It's lovely there this time of year.
Unknown guest · Godmother: Is that fur? Yes, but it's OK because it had a stroke.
Unknown guest · Priest: I can't go to hell for that, can I, Father? No. Not as long as you confess. Then you've nothing to fucking worry about!
Fleabag: Love the Catholics! You can get away with anything. A lot of them did!
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Unknown guest to Priest: I didn't realise you were allowed out without your little doggy thing.
Fleabag Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Fleabag · Godmother: Dream team. [Fleabag and Godmother both ordering identical sparkling water with lime]
Unknown guest: You know, the most fascinating thing about Father here is that his mother was originally a lesbi...
Unknown guest · Claire · Fleabag: Is there a reason that you're not drinking? He's an alcoholic. Oh, fun, my parents are alcoholics.
Godmother · Claire: Oh, Claire! We thought you couldn't have them. What, why? Well, you just seem a little...
Godmother: Something's up. And now you have the money to pay for proper help. Ghastly without help, I imagine.
Godmother · Dad: It caused quite a cultural wave. Ripple. Rip... w-wave. Wave.
Fleabag · Unknown guest: No one's asked me a question in 45 minutes. So what do you do? Er, I run a café. Oh, wow! It's going well, is it? Yes, it is. It really is.
Fleabag: It actually is. It is. [internal reassurance to camera]
Fleabag Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Waitress: Can I get anyone any ice? [the waitress, unprompted, returning with a new offer]
Waitress Running Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Priest · Fleabag: So, do your family get together much, or...? Fuck you, then.
Fleabag: Yeah, they can't even masturbate.
Fleabag Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Fleabag/Guest · Priest: Did you always want to join the priesthood? Oh, fuck, no.
Priest: I came quite late to it, actually, but it's been a really good life to me. I've really found peace in it.
Priest Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Godmother · Priest: Are your parents successful? They were very successful alcoholics, yeah.
Martin: Must be hard on the balls.
Martin Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Priest: Not as hard on them as trying to make a baby for five months, I imagine.
Priest Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Unknown guest · Claire: This sauce is disgusting. [immediately followed by] Oh, it's delicious, thank you.
Godmother · Priest: D'you know, I've always been so suspicious of religion but I must say I think there's something rather chic about having a real priest at a wedding. Are you a real priest? Yeah.
Priest: I'm new to the parish and I guess I'm just... I'm really fucking lonely! So... So I appreciate this. Thank you very much.
Priest Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Fleabag/Guest · Priest: What did he die of? Just, um, time.
Priest: Father Patrick sadly died, so I got the gig.
Priest Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive Fleabag · Priest: Sounds like a riot. He was, actually.
Godmother · Dad: He plays the flute. The bassoon.
Godmother: We don't want gifts at the wedding... So we've decided to ask people to make a small donation to a charity of their choosing, in our name.
Godmother: Do you want to know what gift I'm giving your father? A portrait. Of you girls. I'd only need a couple of sittings.
Godmother: No, because the lighting's never good enough and if you're not very photogenic then it does you no favours.
Godmother: ...and the only photos there are of you two together are of when you were children and you looked like a boy.
Priest · Claire: You never told me you had a sister, Claire. Oh, well, we, um... We don't get to see each other much.
Godmother · Priest: No, it's not that. Is he not in the Church? No, he's not in the Church. Oh, it must be so hard! Well, it's mainly hard... Is it cos he's Mummy's favourite? Because he's a paedophile.
Priest: I'm aware of the irony of that.
Priest Dark/Subversive Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Unknown: Just a... just a breath of air, eh? [someone stepping outside after the paedophile revelation]
Unknown Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Dad · Fleabag: It's just for you. [Dad gives Fleabag money privately, as a personal gift not for the café]
Dad · Fleabag: You're not being naughty. No! Why?
Dad Fleabag Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Priest: I am so intrigued to see how you're going to make this whole evening about yourself.
Priest Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Priest · Fleabag: Oh, no. We probably shouldn't arrive at the table together.
Fleabag: I take all the negative emotions and just bottle them and bury them and they never come out. I've basically never been better.
Fleabag Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Unknown guest · Claire: It takes real commitment to be this happy. It's not just about eating and drinking well, either. Putting pine nuts on your salad doesn't make you a grown-up. Fucking does.
Claire: In Finland, we, um... they have this saying which I can't quite remember now.
Claire Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Unknown guest/Martin: And she is wide open lately.
Martin · Claire · Godmother: What? No, she's a lawyer. I thought you were a lawyer? No. What? I work with lawyers, I'm not a lawyer.
Martin · Fleabag · Dad: What's that in your hand? It's a voucher. For a counselling session. Thanks, Dad.
Dad · Fleabag: That was meant to be a bedroom present. A what? A present that you open in your bedroom, alone.
Priest: I don't believe you can pay your problems away. I think you have to face who you are and suffer the consequences. It's the only road to happiness. Maybe happiness isn't in what you believe but who you believe.
Priest Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Priest Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Fleabag: Are you pissed off or are you doing a poo?
Fleabag Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fleabag: Could try and fashion something with wings out of these. [offering hand towels]
Fleabag Physical/Slapstick Deadpan/Understatement Claire: It's not a period, it's a fucking miscarriage, OK?
Claire Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Claire: Just get your hands off my miscarriage! It's mine.
Claire Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Multiple guests · Fleabag: Are you OK? Yeah, I'm, er... Er... Is, um... is it? No, I'm sorry, I just... Here we go.
Claire: I just had a little... I just had... I had a little miscarriage.
Claire Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Unknown guest · Fleabag: Whose was it? Maybe leave that for later.
Unknown guest: Was it the tooth man?
Claire · Dad: No, I think I'll just deal with this in my own insane, irrational, anal way, if that's OK. / That's probably for the best.
Claire Dad Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Martin: It's like a goldfish out the bowl, sort of thing. If it didn't wanna be in there, it didn't wanna be in there, something wasn't right.
Martin Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Martin: Either way... she got her spotlight.
Martin Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Multiple characters · Unknown calm voice at end: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What the fuck? Fuck! Oh, fuck! Jeez... Jesus Chr...! Is there anything I can do?
Unknown · Fleabag: Can I do anything? No, thank you. They've gone. So...
