Character Analysis
Calculon
Played by Maurice LaMarche
41 jokes across 9 episodes of Futurama
14.1
41
6.9
6.7
Character Comedy
Calculon delivers 41 scored jokes across 9 episodes of Futurama, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.7 on impact for a career WAR of 14.1. Their comedy leans toward character comedy. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Calculon Lines
Calculon:I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Calculon:And this time, the Academy will not deny me. Not when they see Coilette: The Calculon Story.
Calculon · Fry:Knight Rider wasn't evil. His windshield wipers were. It didn't come up in the show.
Calculon:When I was holding out for more money.
Calculon:Every emotion an actor can display.
All Jokes — 41 total
Calculon:Metric? I've always known. But for you, my darling, I'm willing to convert.
Calculon:I'm filled with a large number of powerful emotions.
Calculon:The natives called it the abominable snowmobile.
Calculon:I once had a best friend who liked to smell things with me.
Calculon:Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny.
Calculon · Fry:Knight Rider wasn't evil. His windshield wipers were. It didn't come up in the show.
Calculon:Are you my hot-water heater?
Calculon:Unless you can heat water to 212 degrees, I'm not interested.
Calculon · Bender:Nice work, Boiler. Thanks. And call me Bender.
Calculon:No. No, I don't like the font.
Calculon:That's the Emmy of movie awards!
Calculon:I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death.
Calculon:Funny story. The script called for me to say 'yes.' But I gave it a little twist.
Calculon:From this day forth, I shall do so whenever possible.
Calculon:Of course I would.
Calculon:I'd appreciate it if you didn't 'bam' the young lady.
Calculon:It's as if you understand the male mind better than I.
Calculon:It's the remote control to my heart. It symbolizes the power you have to sway my emotions.
Bender · Calculon:Would we have donkeys? All you could eat.
Calculon:Dear God! The very illness my TV character caught in season two... When I was holding out for more money.
Calculon:When I was holding out for more money.
Calculon:Deep in the diamond mines of the Congo.
Calculon:Why?
Calculon:N-O-O-O!
Calculon:And this time, the Academy will not deny me. Not when they see Coilette: The Calculon Story.
Calculon:Every emotion an actor can display.
Unknown character · Calculon:Calculon! But I thought you were-- Egyptian?
Calculon:I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Calculon:It seems someone in this room... Is a murderer! It's me.
Calculon:At last, we can enjoy our studio-mandated quality time.
Calculon:Lo, the worm has turned.
Calculon:Food coloring? The most poisonous substance known to robots?
Calculon:I'm a celebrity. I can kill anyone I want!
Calculon:That's right, I said it. I said it!
Calculon:At least he died knowing I was great.
Calculon:Everything is negotiable.
Calculon:Yes, I do need to expel more coffee.
Calculon:Like the Milwaukee Shakespeare Festival.
Bender · Calculon:Hey, it's me! Your extremely close friend Bender. - How did you get this number? - I didn't! I'm just dialing every number in order.
Calculon:I am a demanding actor, so I must order off the menu.
Calculon:Hmm, I don't see anything inconveniencing enough.