The Thief Of Baghead

Calculon:It seems someone in this room... Is a murderer! It's me.

Bender:Calculon really shatnered the hell out of that scene.

Fry:Aquariums have really changed since I was a boy and no one ever took me to them.

Fry:so there's nothing for kids to smear yogurt on. I like strawberry yogurt.

Fry · Professor:Can I touch the water? I wouldn't, but I'm smart.

Sea creature/narrator:Welcome... To Jurassic tank.

Bender:Let me just extend the old third leg.

Bender:Ooh, yeah. That's stable, baby.

Bender:Twilight zone one-minute-in-the-future lens? Ooh, Calculon's going to be here.

Fry:Film? Who uses film? We've had digital cameras for a thousand years.

Bender:Your eyes are digital cameras.

Bender:You're looking at the last chemical darkroom in existence.

Bender:Yo, Calky! I'm a big fan, and I've got a big camera.

Bender:Try one where you're pretending to swing a tennis racquet.

Aquarium guide:These rare and fascinating deep-sea fish are extremely sensitive to light

Bender:Come on, smile! Quit blinking! Red eye! Blurry! Lens cap's still on!

Calculon:At last, we can enjoy our studio-mandated quality time.

Bender:Man, I've never had anyone try so hard to digest me.

Amy · Hermes:These pictures are just as good as the ones in my celebrity tabloid. Us people magazine?

Bender:Well, I changed my mind and came to Hollywood after all.

Editor:Namely, a camera.

Bender:Hmm, I don't know. How much will it cost me?

Bender:Sir, you just hired yourself a new whatsa-whatzo.

Bender:I want you all to know that I'm already better than you. Stay out of my way!

Leela:No, not that scene-chewing ham. I said the greatest actor... Langdon Cobb.

Zoidberg:Let's rewind, shall we? Let's rewind again.

Narrator:He's raked in seven academy awards for best actor and one for best actress

Langdon Cobb:For Rigel 7... And all mankind!

Langdon Cobb · Daisy:No, Daisy, don't! I tried to warn you. I'm hideous. To me, you're beautiful.

Bender:One 60-foot ladder, please.

Bender:What are you, some kind of attack fungus? Or just a moldy schnauzer?

Bender:Oh, God, please let this tacky Hollywood mansion have the obligatory... Yes! Tuscan-inspired pergola!

Bender:Peace out, Portobello.

Bender:I swear on my honor as a paparazzo.

Bender · Fry:Hey, Fry, want to see a picture? Sure.

Fry:Visual gag: Character looks at photo and immediately deflates like a balloon

Bender:But... it could just be a coincidence.

Bender:I'd feel more comfortable raising the alarm if I were a little more certain.

Zoidberg:Now, this I want to see as clearly as possible.

Professor · Leela:Just like the noble buffalo. Nothing like a buffalo.

Professor:Souls? Don't be ridiculous. It's their life forces that have been stolen. It's scientific.

Professor:He has no soul. Life force!

Bender:If we poke a hole in Cobb's bag, will they spew out like a volcano built on an Indian graveyard?

Calculon:Lo, the worm has turned.

Bender:That's Romeo and Juliet, dummy, by Will.I.Am Shakespeare.

Calculon:Food coloring? The most poisonous substance known to robots?

Fry:I'll swap it out for harmless battery acid.

Calculon:I'm a celebrity. I can kill anyone I want!

Bender:I always come in stinky.

Bender:I always come in stinky.

Amy:Whoof! I beg to differ.

Professor:It's going totally Kanye!

Professor:Ah! There's a humungous fungus among us.

Calculon:That's right, I said it. I said it!

Calculon:At least he died knowing I was great.

Professor:It just has to warm up for about 15 minutes.

Amy:That ego must be at least four feet tall by now.

Langdon Cobb:Aw, did you miss me, pookie?

Bender:And everybody knows, once you delete a photo, it's gone forever.

Bender:Maybe a digital photo, but with film, I still have the negative.

Bender:Eh. Contrast's a little off on this one.

Langdon Cobb:The process.

Leela:If we do, will you stop talking about the process?

Amy:Oh, God, just kill us already!

Bender:start squirting out some soul-a-rrhea.

Langdon Cobb:The contrast is exquisite. And the composition... Sublime.

Bender:My great photo only made his ego bigger.

Bender:You'll never be able to pay me back.

Bender · Everyone:Say: 'Bender is great.' Bender is great!