The Prisoner Of Benda

Fry · Leela:Boy, that thing's big. / Fry, is my colossal eye too big? / No, it's what makes you you. / But it's so round, so hideously round.

Fry · Leela:Leela, listen, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever known. / Oh, so you only care about my looks? / No, I... what?

Nikolai:I am just a humble emperor with a big, big crown.

Bender · Leela:Of course I'm not planning to steal that crown. / What? / True, I've always dreamt of being an emperor, You know, for Halloween, and then forever

Bender · Fry:And finally, a chump To be caught on video and later arrested. / As I told you on sucker-punch day, I'm through being a chump.

Bender:You see, I own a watch.

Amy:Good, I'm sick of cleaning up those heaps of dead monkeys.

Amy · Professor:Like the heaps of dead monkeys? / Science cannot move forward without heaps.

Amy · Professor · Amy:I wasted my youth porking out. / Yes, I remember. / Would you please take that down? It's making me hungry.

Professor:we're just the people This mind-switcher was made for by us.

Amy · Professor:It didn't work, you doddering old... / Ah, cartilage.

Professor:Dude, I bid you a fond cowabunga.

Professor:Yee-haw! Look out, world, here I... [crash sound implied]

Professor:I'm sorry, Amy, but your body's not up to the task. Also, I don't care for these boobs Flapping every which way.

Professor:You idiot! Once two bodies have switched minds, They can never switch back.

Professor:However, perhaps they can.

Bender:I'm 60% storage space.

Professor:I'm afraid we need to use... Math.

Bender:Stupid air-needing lungs.

Bender · Basil · Bender:Four seconds?! / Who goes there? / Three, two, one. / Hello, big boy.

Basil:Silence. I am basil, The emperor's cousin and chief of his royal guard, And I shall not be seduced by a... / I said...

Amy:I hate paying $14 to see Nicolas cage solve things.

Leela:see, you do only like me for my body.

Fry:That is entirely not true, sir.

Bender:Ten minutes ago?!

Bender:Uh, could you come back when my chump gets here?

Nikolai · Bender:A reverse Turing test, eh? Very good. What is the square root of nine? / Uh, hold on, let me just get out a pencil.

Bender:okay, look, I'm not that kind of robot. I'm more this kind of robot. [steps forwards but moves backwards]

Nikolai:He steps forwards but moves backwards. By the gods, he is a machine.

Professor:Look, I paid for 15 robot clowns per cubic meter of car, And you're barely giving me 12.

Professor:I am Nonchalanto the robot daredevil, And my dream is to risk my life In strange and original ways.

Circus performer:That's the dumbest thing anybody's ever done. You're hired.

Bender:Oh, crap, that is what I am.

Flavia · Nikolai · Flavia:Hello. / Ah, my fiancée princess Flavia. / Dearest, meet bender. He's a robot in the body of a Chinese Martian physicist. / How tedious.

Nikolai · Bender:Can I trust you to do it? / You can trust anything.

Zoidberg:A man can give her a toke of her own medicine.

Zoidberg:Friends, friends, I've got barnacles on my tuchus.

Scruffy:Washbucket full. Scruffy's work here is done.

Scruffy:Switch bodies? I don't see why not. I also don't see why.

Fry · Bender:If you're a bender, why is your body full of fetid water? / If you're an emperor, why don't you shut up?!

Fry · Nikolai · Nikolai:Robot? / Yes, 'tis I... Bender. Do you not recognize your own best friend? / Aha! The guy in this body has a friend!

Amy · Amy:But then Nicolas cage discovered The real treasure was his family. / Yes, I'll hold.

Leela · Fry:Amy?! Stop it! She's turning me into a parade float. / Ew, look at her!

Fry:That wasn't a little extra weight.

Hermes:Sweet orca of Majorca. You make fat Albert look like normal Albert.

Hermes:Three decades of the munchies beat you to it.

Big Bertha:Oh, excuse me. Too much goulash.

Big Bertha:Never! My body may be old, but it is mine, And every crack, a memory of heavy things shot a long way.

Basil:Nikolai, you imperial fool. We've been having an affair for 700 years.

Zoidberg:You mean, like my penis?

Fry · Nikolai:Well, bender, here's our apartment That we live in every day. / A floor? We live like kings!

Nikolai:Kings? Silence! Like you, I'm a common lout.

Scruffy · Washbucket:Miss Wong? / No, scruffy, I am washbucket. I love you. Washbucket has always loved you.

Scruffy:This is wrong, washbucket. Oh, it would be sweet for a while, But in the back of our minds, we'd know That I'm a man, and you're janitorial equipment.

Washbucket:In another city, we could be anyone we want!

Scruffy:Go. Go now. Before I beg you to stay.

Bender:Shut up, madam ambassador. I know it.

Bender:I'd now like to digress from my prepared remarks To say I'm done.

Professor · Carnie:You're robo-Hungarian? / Yes. Our nation's chief export is carnies.

Big Bertha · Professor · Big Bertha:I have not so much time left anyhow. But you could get a new body. You could have a rich, full life! / I am trying to have a rich, full life.

Professor:That is not what I meant to give you for big Bertha.

Professor:Good, 'cause I've got 20 of them per cubic meter.

Child:When I grow up, I want to be a diplomat!

Hermes:Q to the e to the d.

Professor:And they say pure math has no real-world applications!

Professor:You'll win the NBA's highest academic honor for this!

Bender:And I'm left with the real jewels safely inside... His compartment?! Oh!