Brannigan Begin Again

Leela:Or like the Federation from Star Trek.

Professor:Okay. But don't run with them!

Fry:A reception table with muffins!

Amazon:Big rats there. Me crush with club.

Neutral President:I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

Zapp:I hate these filthy Neutrals. You know where enemies stand. But with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me.

Bender:He means you guys did it.

Zapp:The Yarn People of Nylar Four.

Zapp:But you forgot one thing: Rock crushes scissors.

Kif:But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper.

Zapp:Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.

Zapp:What makes a man turn Neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you born with a heart of Neutrality?

Zapp:Kif, I don't need your that-may-not-be-wise attitude.

Zapp:Whoopsie-daisy.

Zapp:Absolutely 99 percent not guilty.

Hyperchicken:Your Honor, I'm a simple hyper-chicken from a backwoods asteroid...

Hyperchicken:but if it please the court, I'll call the entire jury.

Judge:The jury will disregard its testimony.

Leela:That's a dumb question. What matters is Zapp's the worst captain ever.

Hyperchicken:The same man who didn't blow up DOOP headquarters.

Zapp:But you can't take away his integrity and honor. Plus, it was Kif's fault.

Zapp:One day a man has everything. Then he blows up a $400 billion space station. Next he has nothing. Makes you think.

Bender:No, it doesn't.

Zapp:That's an order, soldier!

Leela:And the second one with real hoses.

Zapp:I didn't know where else to turn. You're the only one who loved me.

Zapp:Let me work for food. I'll paint, or service you sexually, or mop up.

Leela · Zapp:You can't do any of those things. - Kif might.

Professor:He'll distract people from our awful safety record. Come in!

Professor · Bender:The green dude and the fat man. - I haven't seen that robot before.

Bender:I'm Bender. You know, the lovable rascal.

Professor:you might be crushed by your own hair.

Fry:No, she just makes us work.

Zapp:But should she ever institute some sort of spanking policy... I'll go for you. I won't have my comrades harmed.

Zapp:Even if he is a hot, sexy, female man.

Kif:This is the happiest day of my life.

Bender:Hey, no prob. This lead apron will protect me.

Zapp:That's using your noodle.

Bender:Come on, girdle. Hold...

Bender:Don't get your panties in a knot.

Zapp:I have a serious question. Does the company that made your bra do girdles? I ask because a friend...

Kif:I'm Leela. Get to work.

Kif:Once he actually ordered me to... shave his armpits while he was in the tub.

Bender:If she let us use the backup, we'd have broken it and given up.

Fry · Bender:Beer? - Underwear?

Kif:Hear that? I'm actually laughing.

Zapp:Then the laundry room... which will hereafter be called the 'brig.'

Zapp Brannigan:Put them in the laundry brig.

Zapp:That's not enough. You're to sit and drink until you're as loyal as Kif.

Zapp:Maybe not to you. But you were court-martialed in disgrace.

Fry · Bender:Burn! - Nailed you, buddy!

Fry:And they'll be like...and we'll have pancakes to celebrate. And I'll be like...

Zapp:Fly the white flag of war.

Neutral President:All I know is my gut says maybe.

Zapp:Yes. That's what I meant by loyalty.

Zapp Brannigan:It's sweaty. You may need baby powder.

Leela:Let me guess. He canceled naptime? He ran out of beer? So he's about to kill us?

Kif:She actually listens to what I have to...

Bender:As your God is my witness.

Neutral President:If I die, tell my wife, 'Hello.'

Bender:Unless we hit a time warp, don't worry about it.

Zapp:When Leela panicked, maybe because of female troubles... my quick mind saved the day.

Leela:It's true. My female incompetence, his cat-like reflexes... the stuff that made no sense, all of it.

Fry · Bender:Oh, man. - Let's mutiny.