When the price of titanium skyrockets, Bender pawns his titanium-rich body and lives the high life as just a head. But when the head-in-a-jar of Richard M. Nixon uses Bender's body to run for election for President of Earth, Bender vows to get his rightful property back.
WAR
72.2
Wins Above Replacement
“A Head In The Polls” ranks #8 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 85.8 — Elite. The episode packs 76 scored jokes at 4.7 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Bender landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Nixon: That's right, no 'body.' But, as you can plainly see, I've got a shiny new body.
Nixon Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Nixon: Once I'm in office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat! I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!
Amy · Bender: What's your party, Bender? I can't vote. Because you're a robot? No, a felon.
Nixon: Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973, but voters are as drunk and stupid as ever!
Nixon Observational Character Comedy Leela: John Quincy Adding Machine. He enticed voters by pledging not to go on a killing spree.
Leela Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Amy · Bender: What's your party, Bender? I can't vote. Because you're a robot? No, a felon.
Nixon: That's right, no 'body.' But, as you can plainly see, I've got a shiny new body.
Nixon Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Nixon: Once I'm in office, I'll sell our children's organs to zoos for meat! I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!
All Jokes — 76 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Narrator: You're entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. A place you might find a monster or Weird mirror.
Man: Wait, my eyes aren't that bad. I can read the large print books.
Man Escalation Callback Callback Man: It's not...! Well, lucky I can read braille.
Character · Narrator: Hey, look, a weird mirror. Cursed by his own hubris.
Fry: So? We live in the United States. That's part of the world. I have been gone a long time.
Fry Character Comedy Observational Political Candidate: But frankly, I agree with everything he just said!
Fry: These candidates sound like clones. Wait, they are clones!
Fry Misdirection Visual Gag Jack Johnson · John Jackson: Your three-cent titanium tax goes too far! Your three-cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!
Fry: If I were registered, I'd send a message by staying home on election day, dressed like a clown.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy Fry: You're not registered? Not vaccinated, either.
Fry Character Comedy Escalation Leela: John Quincy Adding Machine. He enticed voters by pledging not to go on a killing spree.
Leela Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Leela: But, like most, he promised more than he could deliver.
Leela Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Fry · Farnsworth: When did you care about voting? The very instant I became old.
Old Man Nixon: The problem is, both parties give your tax dollars... to the less fortunate. They get all the breaks!
Leela: I'd better keep an eye out at the next meeting.
Leela Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Brain Slug candidate · Fry: Attach Brain Slugs to them. Sure, you say that now.
Hemp party member: Dave's not here, man.
Character: I don't go anywhere without my mutated anthrax for duck hunting.
Robot · Another robot: Sure, humans are cute, but how will we test cosmetics? I concur.
Party recruiter · Fry: Not with that attitude. Okay, screw it. Welcome aboard, brother! All right! You're out.
TV Announcer: Jack Johnson, or bitter rival, John Jackson?
News anchor · Morbo: Terrific candidates, huh, Morbo? All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.
News reporter: Without a quick response, the robots will die within 300 years.
Official: We'll pave over the area, then move on.
Official Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Bender: I'm finally richer than those snooty ATMs.
Bender Character Comedy Absurdist Leela · Bender: Too bad you can't spend it. Oh, can't I? No. Watch me, poor man.
Bender: Compare your lives to mine, and then kill yourselves.
Bender Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Bender: You just lost five dollars.
Bender Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Zoidberg: Sold your body? Bender, I've been down that road. It's glamorous, the parties are great, but you'll spend every dollar on jewelry and skintight pants.
Bender: Bodies are for hookers and fat people.
Bender Character Comedy Observational Bender: What's he gonna do, break my legs?
Croupier · Bender: 21 red. I beg your pardon, 33 black. Yes! The rich get richer!
Bender · Character: Can I ride in your car? No, it looks like your neck stepped in something. Oh, I'm sorry, that's just your body.
Bender · Rich Person: Can I ride in your car? No, it looks like your neck stepped in something. Oh, I'm sorry, that's just your body.
Bender: Look me in the shins and say that!
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Bender: I'm off to hang out with classy heads like me, who appreciate poetry, philosophy, hats.
Bender Escalation Character Comedy Bender: Could one of you coffin stuffers please carry me?
Bender Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Claudia Schiffer's head · Bender: I'd like to lose a few pounds. Couldn't hurt.
Bill Clinton's head: Legally, nothing I can do counts as sex anymore.
Fry: I got trashed on Listerine.
Fry Character Comedy Observational Ford: I've never felt voting is essential to the process.
Ford Irony/Sarcasm Observational Bender: That's not my expansion slot and my friend says, That's not my 25-pin connector!
Bender Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Shakespeare: Bender, thou robots really cracketh me up.
Character: No offense, Jefferson, Nixon and Truman.
Character: LaRouche won't stop telling jokes.
Bender · Washington: Same reason you hocked your teeth. Ah, booze money.
Nixon: A good Republican body. God, I loved it.
Nixon Character Comedy Observational Character: He opened relations with China. He doesn't care about your ding-dong.
Nixon: That's my style. Kick them when they're down.
Bender: What an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere! And I thought I saw a two.
Bender Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Leela: It was just a dream. There are no twos.
Leela Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Fry: It was just a dream. There are no twos.
Fry Callback Character Comedy Callback Bender · Pawn Shop Owner: You sold my body! To who? I can't reveal that. But I'll give you $50 for the kid.
Fry · Bender: What about your self-destruct button? It's on my body!
Bender: That double-crossing bastard! How dare he run off with Nixon!
Bender Misdirection Character Comedy Leela: But when a robotic Nixon is loose, we have to take action! Idiot.
Leela Escalation Character Comedy Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Morbo Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Nixon: The question is vague. You don't say what kind of candy, whether anyone is watching... I certainly wouldn't harm the child.
Nixon Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Nixon: I certainly wouldn't harm the child.
Nixon Reaction Beat Visual Gag Aide · Nixon: But your body's message was, 'Look at my shiny new body.' You've got real charisma from the neck down.
Nixon: Shut up! Seriously, I'm never giving back this body. Beat it! Or I'll get Cambodian on your asses!
Nixon Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Fry: Not for five cents, not for 500 cents.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy Characters: We're in a room! Then lose some weight!
Leela · Nixon: The voters aren't pea-brained idiots anymore. No? Listen here, missy.
Nixon: Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973, but voters are as drunk and stupid as ever!
Nixon Observational Character Comedy Nixon: I'll go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place!
Nixon Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Voter · Fry: He lost my vote. One vote won't make a difference.
Nixon: I thought I had a Clark Gable quality.
Nixon: Oh, expletive deleted! You've got a deal.
Nixon Callback Character Comedy Callback Leela: Why'd they vote for him, now that he's just a head?
Leela Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm News anchor: Nixon has won!
Bender · Fry · Leela: It ain't my fault. I'm a non-voting felon. It's not my fault. I forgot to vote. Crud, I knew there was something I meant to do today.
Morbo: May death come quickly to his enemies.
Morbo Character Comedy Dark/Subversive 