Proposition Infinity

Newscaster · Jim:We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim? The news is not good. I've just learned that my final words were 'back to you, Linda.'

Jim:One for the blooper reel.

Amy:Oh, the news is so violent. Let's watch Rachael Ray instead. Oh, no, wait, there might be chopping.

Kif · Amy:God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish. You know full well I am more closely related to the sea cucumber.

Amy · Kif:Not where it counts. (Whimpers)

Bender:That is one sexy bridge abutment.

Hyperchicken:Free corn? Well, that'll suit me just fine. (Engine revs, tires screech) (Hyperchicken screams, car crashes)

Police Officer:Well, well. Time to beat him his rights.

Police Officer:You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks. It does sort of class up the place.

Clock:(Clock chimes) Booming voice: The time is 4:00 A.M.!

Kif:I'm not just some piece of tofu, Amy.

Kif:It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate hunk-of-the-month calendar.

Amy · Todd (calendar):Leave Todd out of this. Thanks, babe. Also, today is Canadian Independence Day. (Plays wolf-whistle)

Amy:Oop, that's Bender's ringtone. I recognize the smell.

Bender:You know that floor safe where you keep ten grand? There's five grand in there.

Prison Inmate:Hey, Bender, you ever kill a man with a sock? It ain't so hard.

Bender:Tell me, have things changed on the outside? Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form?

Larry:Hey, hot stuff, I'm Larry the murder burglar.

Kif:I just don't get why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.

Robber · Amy:Nobody move or sweet cheeks here gets it. (Giggles) Ooh, you're bad.

Robber:Mama said Spock you out.

Kif:Pardon my language, but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats.

Fry:It's called 'Let's go already.'

Bender:Yeah, the game of old maid.

Calculon's Agent:You're damn right, and before you ask, this is mine, too. Where am I? Is this TBS?

Amy:No, technically we were fon-fon-rus, so we weren't really married.

Bender:Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds?

Bender:Shut up, baby, you love it.

Amy:Remember, love between a human and a robot is taboo.

Fry · Amy:I think I'm coming down with circus-itis. (Sneezes, clown horn honks) I thought circus-itis only affected children. Children of all ages.

Someone · Professor:I thought circus-itis only affected children. Children of all ages.

Bender:Uh... blood. Uh, you know... Shaving of the face beard.

Bender:I stole 'em from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops.

Bender:Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.

Amy:Aw, you always say just the wrong thing in just the right way.

Preacherbot:The good book sayeth... a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor at any angle in between.

Preacherbot:Look, a single mother! Let's get her!

Professor:I've got sunny, snow flurries, hail with onions, even my grandmother's cranberry-raisin typhoon, but no tornado.

Professor · Crew:Is everybody in position?! What?! Is someone talking?! Okay, good! On three! One! What did she say?! Two! Wait, I'm not in position! Three! I'm ready for the countdown! I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission! She said go!

Professor:They're missing out on some hot pickle action.

Hermes:Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.

Professor:Sweet tornado of Barbado. Amy and Bender have been torn to shreds. Oh, the humanity. Also Bender.

Professor:Oh, the humanity. Also Bender.

Bender:What about on the roof? What about in the gutter?

Amy · Professor:What about on the roof? Get your mind out of the gutter. What about in the gutter?

Bender:Or one.

Sign/Leo Wong:Wong ranch no brokebacking

Inez Wong:Look, we're your family, and if you can't talk about your problem with us, that would be great.

Leo Wong:You finish that word, you kill your parents!

Inez Wong · Amy · Wine Bot:Stop seducing him, you hussy! I'm attracted to Bender, not this emotionless wine bucket! Hopes... deleted.

Preacherbot:Can I get a amen? I'll take-a three men. Holla!

Inez Wong:I want to be a grandmother... nine months from five minutes from now.

Inez Wong:Look at all that awkward winking? It must be love!

Robot:Look at the rack on that one! I mean... That one on the rack!

Robot in therapy:Look at the rack on that one! I mean... That one on the rack!

Preacherbot:Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes outcha!

Preacherbot:Mmm... mercy.

Bender:I love Amy, and I'm tired of pussyfootcupping around. I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of her life with.

Professor:Oh, I'm just glad I didn't live to see this day. Hey, wait a second. (Faint heartbeat) Noooo...!

Leo Wong:You mean Space-Tax-Achusetts?

Jamaican Man · Amy:(Jamaican accent): Yah, mon! You got to legalize it! We're talking about robosexual marriage. We're talking about lots of stuff.

Human · Robot:Cool. Can you turn into a race car? Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer.

Rally attendee:Our poodle has two daddies!

Amy:even ghost and horse

Mother in ad:As a mother, those things worry me.

Bender:We can't compete against that much stock footage of clouds!

Bender:I'm our A in the hole!

Bender:After all, our love isn't any different from yours... except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved.

George Takei's head:I haven't heard such an eloquent speech since Bill Shatner explained why he couldn't pay me back.

Bender:You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles!

Professor:But then, 43 years later, she left me... for a robot! How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo!

Professor:She didn't just leave me for a robot, she was a robot! Oh, God, her name wasn't Eunice, it was Unit! Unit 47!

TV newswoman:What's next, gay robosexual marriage?

Bender:Monogamous?