Bender becomes a television star as well as a terrible role model for children.
WAR
74.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Bender Should Not Be Allowed On Tv” ranks #3 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 87.9 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.1 on impact, with Bender landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bender: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV... Sitting down with your children... And hitting them?
Bender Misdirection Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Director · Bender: Have you ever been on TV before? Once, when I took those hostages.
Professor: Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies.
Bender · Store-robot: And there's that robot child actor who grew up and became a convenience store. Lottery ticket, please.
Bender: Hey. This is my stuff they stole!
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Standout Moments
Director · Bender: Have you ever been on TV before? Once, when I took those hostages.
Professor: Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies.
Bender: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV... Sitting down with your children... And hitting them?
Bender Misdirection Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Antonio · Father: I'm sorry, Father. But somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be your son. Why, Antonio? Because I have amnesia!
Unknown character · Calculon: Calculon! But I thought you were-- Egyptian?
Unknown character · Multiple characters: Let me get this straight. Does anyone here not have amnesia? Not sure. I don't know.
Cubert: This show is awesome! When I grow up, I'm gonna have so much amnesia.
Cubert Character Comedy Absurdist Dwight · Cubert: Me too! I mean, I have it now. But I forgot. Well, mine's louder!
Bender: Cram a ham in it, you twerps!
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Dwight: Cool! I'm gonna have a fabulatious birthday party just like Calculon!
Dwight Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Cubert: We're 12. So, yes.
Cubert Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Cubert · Dwight: Do clones even have birthdays? Duh. Duh what?
Professor: We can celebrate the day I extracted you from the cloning tank. Or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back.
Cubert · Professor: That one! Yes. It was 13 years ago next week. I used this very fork.
Professor: Wait! I thought of a way! The way I just said!
All My Circuits character: For you see, the horrible secret is-- [scene cuts away at dramatic moment]
Fry: Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense!
Fry Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm Robot police: He's busteds. Let's get hims out of heres.
Bender: This show's been going downhill since season three.
Bender Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Leela · Zoidberg: Since when are you performing at children's parties? Performing? What? Please, if someone could spare me money to buy shoes?
Dwight · Cubert: This party pukes. Yeah! The guests were supposed to be here three hours ago.
Leela: Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming or that you two are total losers. Who gave you that idea?
Leela Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Zoidberg: Good day, fellows. Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup.
Zoidberg Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Bender · Tinny Tim: Tinny Tim! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What's that, sir? That I, Bender, am perfect for the role! You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo!
Bender: Look, there's Macaulay Culkon! He's just not cute since he got puberty installed.
Bender Wordplay/Pun Observational Bender · Store-robot: And there's that robot child actor who grew up and became a convenience store. Lottery ticket, please.
Child actor: Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south and join the robo-Bandidos at Veracruz!
Audience: Boo! Boo! This kid sucks! We want Bender! Boo!
Bender: I will see. Adiós, Padre. Come, Jesus, my faithful chihuahua. Tonight we eat guacamole by the EI Rio!
Bender Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Director: That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer! I don't care how popular you are, you will never work on my show! However, you've got the job.
Bender: I read the script, and I think it would help my character's motivation if he was on fire.
Bender Character Comedy Absurdist Director · Bender: We rewrote your part to suit your acting abilities. So now my character has a British accent? No, now your character's in a coma.
Bender: Stupid dumb coma. I could've been British.
Bender Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Bender: Hey, everyone! Antonio here, but you can call me Bender! I got ants in my butt and I needs to strut!
Bender Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Calculon: I'm not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
Calculon Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Bender: No. No, no, no. I don't do two takes. Amateurs like you do two takes. I do one take.
Bender Character Comedy Escalation Director: We didn't. That's security camera footage from your dressing room.
Director Setup/Punchline Escalation ★ Rewatch Network President: Executive Alpha, programmed to like things it has seen before. Hey, hey, hey. Executive Beta. Programmed to roll dice to determine the fall schedule. More reality shows!
Network President · Executive Gamma: And Executive Gamma, programmed to underestimate Middle America. It's funny, but is it going to get them off their tractors?
Network President: At our network, we love filth. Filthy rich, that is. Being filthy rich, that is.
Executive robots: 'Bite my shiny metal ass' could be a catchphrase. Eighty percent likely. It will play in Peoria. Game shows are back!
Dwight Character Comedy Visual Gag Hermes · Professor: The ruffians smoked one of your cigars. That's not a cigar!
Cubert: Hey, Dad. Bite my shiny metal ass!
Cubert Callback Cringe/Discomfort Callback Professor: What? Such an act would be most uncomfortable for both of us!
Cubert: From Bender, my good jerkwad.
Cubert Character Comedy Escalation Hermes: Bender? That guy's really starting to twist my dreads.
Hermes Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Fry · Professor: What kind of bozos would start a Bender protest group? Good news, everyone! Hermes and I have started a Bender protest group!
Fry Reaction Beat Meta/Self-Referential Hermes: No, sir! Not us F.A.R.T.Ers!
Dwight: Our dads are all pumped up on dork-Osterone.
Dwight Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Cubert or Dwight: Our dads are all pumped up on dork-Osterone.
Cubert · Dwight: We could commit a burglary. Hey, yeah! Bender loves to burgle!
Cubert · Dwight: Hold up, though. Who could we rob? We don't know anyone with cool stuff. Duh. We know someone who runs on pure cool fuel: Bender!
Dwight: Whoa! We'll rob Bender! TV gave us the idea!
Dwight Escalation Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Professor: Of course! You don't have friends!
Professor: Of course! You don't have friends!
Professor: Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of over 40 mega-Fonzies.
Dwight · Cubert: We stole it! Oh, crumb.
Bender: Hey. This is my stuff they stole!
Bender Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Bender: Hey. This is my stuff they stole!
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bender: Bender should not be allowed on television!
Director: I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it.
Director Meta/Self-Referential Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Bender: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Bender Misdirection Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Leela · Fry · Bender: That we should all take TV a little less seriously. And more importantly, turn it off once in a while. So should we turn it off now? Well That depends what's on.
Fry: Nothing good. Let's just keep watching.
Fry Irony/Sarcasm Observational 