Leela becomes campaign manager for a presidential candidate whose birth certificate is mysteriously missing.
WAR
44.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Decision 3012” ranks #62 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.6 — Elite. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 2.9 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Bender landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Future Nixon: In this time of crisis, I call upon the soylent major... I mean silent majority
Nixon: use the poor as a cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel
Nixon Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Sarah Palin-type candidate: We have a saying up in Alaska. That's all.
Convention announcer: caught with a dead girl, a live boy or any kind of sexy ghost
Bender: Convicted, sentenced and executed
Bender Escalation Character Comedy Standout Moments
Nixon: use the poor as a cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel
Nixon Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Sarah Palin-type candidate: We have a saying up in Alaska. That's all.
Future Nixon: In this time of crisis, I call upon the soylent major... I mean silent majority
All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bender: Free beer. Free beer. Free beer-beer-beer-beer-beer- beer-beer-beer-beer-beer! Free...!
Bender Physical/Slapstick Escalation Bender · Unknown: Hello. I'm here for the free beer. You got it. Right after these 800 people get it.
Nixon: Thank you, headless clone of Agnew
Nixon Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Nixon: the greatest planet in the world
Nixon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Nixon · Aide: Is everyone enjoying their free beer? Well, there's plenty more where that came from. We're all out of beer.
Nixon: a really big Dyson fence across the Southern border of our solar system
Nixon Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Leela · Fry: Why are you cheering, Fry? You're not rich. True, but someday I might be rich. And then people like me better watch their step.
Bender: I've repaired myself with these convenient 'Reelect Nixon' ass stickers
Bender Visual Gag Character Comedy Bender: Convicted, sentenced and executed
Bender Escalation Character Comedy Amy: I'll stick with the evil maniac I know, thank you
Amy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Moderator: Welcome to debate 3012, the 3,012th debate of the 3012 election year
Moderator: I will dispense with the informal terrorizing
Moderator Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Moderator: A thoughtful and lucid answer. You will be destroyed!
Candidate: Two words: Condor attack
Crowd Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Travers: I never should have used the same pr guy as one hour hot dog
Travers Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leela: We just need to conceal your intelligence and honesty in a hipper, dumber package
Leela Irony/Sarcasm Observational Convention announcer: caught with a dead girl, a live boy or any kind of sexy ghost
Hermes: It wasn't 'we the people'. It was you the mutant
Hermes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Professor: Your insightful nagging really won us over
Bender Callback Character Comedy Callback Unknown operative: Nobel prize? That's no good
Nixon aide: Well, you did manage to get a tremendous urine sample
Lrrr: He's as clean as a freshly waxed buttock
Lrrr Character Comedy Absurdist Bender · Lrrr: Hey! Did you put your tongue in my ear? Certainly not. I don't have a tongue. Oh, good. 'cause I don't have an ear.
Aide: His middle name is Zaxxar? Sounds kind of alien
Aide Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Nixon: I feel a jowl movement coming on
Nixon Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: You Ruth Bader believe it!
Scoop Chang: fox quote-unquote news
Travers: Our lady of patriotism hospital
Leela: Why are you yokels doing this?
Leela Callback Wordplay/Pun Callback Protesters · Song leader: We don't want a foreigner! We want someone born here! Ah, I'm still working on that one.
Leela: your mother was admitted to the maternity ward... this morning!
Leela Setup/Punchline Absurdist ★ Rewatch Travers: The fact is, I really was born on earth... tomorrow.
Travers: I really was born on earth... tomorrow
Travers Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Bender: Wait... I am a robot named b.B. Rodriguez. So, I become ruler of earth? Indeed. Yes! In your face, high school guidance counselor.
Bender Character Comedy Callback Bender: In your face, high school guidance counselor.
Bender Character Comedy Callback Travers: All right, I'm low on bullets. Everybody scooch together.
Travers Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fry: If it's on TV, it has to be real
Fry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Leela: If it's on TV, it has to be real.
Leela Observational Irony/Sarcasm Field reporter: Linda, I'm down here at the pelvis, and folks round these parts can't remember the last time a time-traveling Senator attended his own birth
Unknown: Aw... he's got his own eyes
Unknown Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Travers: You stood by me and exposed my private medical records, even after I begged you not to
Travers Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bender: I don't give a bag of butts who won the election
Bender Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bender: Nope. I don't give a bag of butts who won the election. Nothing's going to change.
Bender Character Comedy Observational Bender Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential Fry: Wow, it really doesn't matter who you vote for
Fry Observational Irony/Sarcasm Nixon Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm 