Decision 3012

Bender:Free beer. Free beer. Free beer-beer-beer-beer-beer- beer-beer-beer-beer-beer! Free...!

Bender · Unknown:Hello. I'm here for the free beer. You got it. Right after these 800 people get it.

Nixon:Thank you, headless clone of Agnew

Nixon:the greatest planet in the world

Nixon · Aide:Is everyone enjoying their free beer? Well, there's plenty more where that came from. We're all out of beer.

Nixon:a really big Dyson fence across the Southern border of our solar system

Nixon:use the poor as a cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel

Leela · Fry:Why are you cheering, Fry? You're not rich. True, but someday I might be rich. And then people like me better watch their step.

Bender:I've repaired myself with these convenient 'Reelect Nixon' ass stickers

Bender:Convicted, sentenced and executed

Amy:I'll stick with the evil maniac I know, thank you

Everyone:What?

Moderator:Welcome to debate 3012, the 3,012th debate of the 3012 election year

Moderator:I will dispense with the informal terrorizing

Sarah Palin-type candidate:We have a saying up in Alaska. That's all.

Moderator:A thoughtful and lucid answer. You will be destroyed!

Candidate:Two words: Condor attack

Crowd:Enviromite!

Travers:I never should have used the same pr guy as one hour hot dog

Leela:We just need to conceal your intelligence and honesty in a hipper, dumber package

Convention announcer:caught with a dead girl, a live boy or any kind of sexy ghost

Hermes:It wasn't 'we the people'. It was you the mutant

Professor:Your insightful nagging really won us over

Bender:I'm 40% wire

Unknown operative:Nobel prize? That's no good

Nixon aide:Well, you did manage to get a tremendous urine sample

Lrrr:He's as clean as a freshly waxed buttock

Bender · Lrrr:Hey! Did you put your tongue in my ear? Certainly not. I don't have a tongue. Oh, good. 'cause I don't have an ear.

Aide:His middle name is Zaxxar? Sounds kind of alien

Nixon:I feel a jowl movement coming on

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg:You Ruth Bader believe it!

Scoop Chang:fox quote-unquote news

Travers:Our lady of patriotism hospital

Leela:Why are you yokels doing this?

Protesters · Song leader:We don't want a foreigner! We want someone born here! Ah, I'm still working on that one.

Leela:your mother was admitted to the maternity ward... this morning!

Travers:The fact is, I really was born on earth... tomorrow.

Travers:I really was born on earth... tomorrow

Future Nixon:In this time of crisis, I call upon the soylent major... I mean silent majority

Bender:Wait... I am a robot named b.B. Rodriguez. So, I become ruler of earth? Indeed. Yes! In your face, high school guidance counselor.

Bender:In your face, high school guidance counselor.

Travers:All right, I'm low on bullets. Everybody scooch together.

Fry:If it's on TV, it has to be real

Leela:If it's on TV, it has to be real.

Field reporter:Linda, I'm down here at the pelvis, and folks round these parts can't remember the last time a time-traveling Senator attended his own birth

Unknown:Aw... he's got his own eyes

Travers:You stood by me and exposed my private medical records, even after I begged you not to

Bender:I don't give a bag of butts who won the election

Bender:Nope. I don't give a bag of butts who won the election. Nothing's going to change.

Bender:It's politics 101

Fry:Wow, it really doesn't matter who you vote for

Nixon:Nixon always wins!