A Farewell To Arms

unknown_character:Oh, my hair!

Fry:Lot of weather we're having. Allow me, m'lady.

Fry:Shall we go a-trousering?

Fry:You're right. I'm sorry for showing my love.

Fry:My pants! My lucky pants!

Leela:They don't look so lucky to me.

Fry:I was wearing them that time I found a dime in my ear. I was wearing them when I won a subscription to Redbook. And I was wearing them when I first met Leela

Leela:You've worn the same pants for a thousand years? No wonder they made a run for it.

Fry:I'm gonna blast that balloon! No way will I let God get my pants!

Fry:Nobody messes with my pants! Not even the holy one, blessed be he.

unknown_character:Look out! A Central Park badger!

Fry:I'll save you, pants!

Scruffy:What viscosity you need?

Scruffy:Also, this grease is flammable.

Leela:No, this isn't Mutant language. We use a lot more profanity. Son of a bitch...!

Leela:The one time your hands aren't sticky, they're greasy!

Fry:Oh, sorry. Normally I would've wiped them on my pants, but...

Fry:We made a rope from my shirt and jacket and an expedition flag from my underpants.

Leela:Stop telling me to take your hand. Look, Fry, your noble gestures keep making things worse. Can't you just be a rude, unhelpful jerk like Bender?

Bender:When I use up the toilet paper, I don't put on a new roll.

Fry:All right! Lucky pants!

Bender:What badger could've built this?

unknown_character:Ancient history coming through!

Professor:predating even the 'Girls of Sumeria.'

Professor:No, wait. There's some dried-up old stew on the screen.

Scruffy:Sorry. I was eatin' a can of breakfast and lookin' at porn.

Amy · Bender:I think it means... 'The sun will erupt... all shall perish,' blah-blah-blah. Get to the point! What does it say about me, Bender?

Bender:The world? That's where I live! Told you it'd say something about me.

Professor:Because that's the year that's this year! See?

Fry:Is it just me, or is the world ending more often these days?

unknown_character:Coward Man away!

Dr. Zoidberg:Some of us were crazy before it was cool.

Nixon:It's not starting. Come ons, comes on!

Agnew:Damn thing just won't turn over. It's like Pat on a Sunday morning.

Leela:Well, it wasn't a bad life. If only I could get back that time I spent watching TRON: Legacy.

Fry:Before we die, I'm gonna find and destroy every remaining copy of TRON: Legacy. It may take a couple of hours, but...

Fry:So... you wanna join the Balcony Club?

Leela:The Balcony Club? I have an individual membership.

Leela · Dr. Zoidberg:Zoidberg, get lost. - I am lost. So long.

Amy:Stop the end-of-the-world sex. We might survive after all.

Professor:All right, Amy, what's so important that you interrupted my embalming?

Amy · Bender:That underground pyramid isn't a pyramid... it's a rocket ship! It was worth waiting five hours to hear you finish that sentence.

Leela:Hmm, I've never flown a pyramid before, but I used to drive around town in a mausoleum. How many people can this thing carry? Well, the mausoleum held ten horny teenagers, so... maybe 30,000.

Professor:They had their chance. Let's go!

Zapp:The obvious destination is Mars. It's close, with lots of open space and no Woodward or Bernstein.

Professor:Who shall live and who shall die? Step right up to the contrabulous choose-matron!

choose-matron:Female, crotchety. Needed to keep others in their place. Accepted!

choose-matron:We just got one of these. Rejected!

choose-matron · Amy · unknown_scientist:Female, scientist. We were in the same sorority. Accepted! - Sigma Beta, see you latah! - Sigma Beta, see you latah!

choose-matron:Male, medical doctor, delicious with butter and lemon. Accepted!

Scruffy:Mayhem?! There's gonna be mayhem? I'm stayin'! Hoo-ee!

choose-matron:Delivery boy, no discernible skills. Accepted! 'Cause I like his pants.

choose-matron:Top gun pilot, natural leader, extreme combat training. Rejected! With all spaceships inoperable, we only need one spaceship pilot.

choose-matron:Male, filthy hand, violent temper. Accepted again!

Leela:I wish I could remember with my boobs.

Bender:A magician never reveals his secrets. Except the Great Revealo. That guy stinks.

Bender:Wait, Fry? I'm a lot of people, but I'm not Fry.

Leo Wong · Amy:Admission, $20. - Dad! Gleesh.

Fry · Bender:Bender! You're stealing your own stuff! I am? Geez, I better slow down. I'm stealing stuff I don't even need. - You want a Torah? - Nah, I'm not hungry.

Fry:No. 'Cause as long as Leela lives, I'll be alive, too, in her heart. But really I'll be dead.

Leo Wong:I give you... Dickfrancisco!

Great Revealo:The doves didn't magically spring from my hand, but rather were crammed into this netting sewn into my sleeve!

Leo Wong:And now, as a solemn testicle to those left behind on Earth

Leela:That frightened little girl in the statue reminds me of Fry.

Nixon:Who is this non-Washington redskin?

Singing Wind:Not your world. Our world. We put calendar there to warn you not to visit Mars. It Mars that gonna be destroyed.

Singing Wind:Why you think we so eager to abandon this dump?

Amy:Hey, Ancient Martian's a very hard language. A........ looks just like a .........

Bender:Oh, what an idiot I was. And by 'I', I mean 'you.'

Leela:I should've known better than to trust one of Fry's romantic gestures. Every time he says he loves me, I get killed.

Fry:Oh no! The Kajigger of Gibraltar!

Bender:I have got to quit drinking.

Amy · Fry:Wait! Help! I'm still on Mars, and I can't jump! Hang on, Leela! I'll save you again! Or somebody else could do it!

Fry:No, we're not. Grab your severed arm with your other arm.

Fry · Scruffy:Good thing Scruffy rescued Leela. Don't thank me, thank the ladder.

Professor:But for right now, enjoy the sounds of the world's smallest violin.

Leela:I can't be mad. I'm on way too many painkillers.

Leela:I mean, you failed, miserably, but you're the only person who loves me enough to try.