The Bots And The Bees

Professor:Repeat: What I just said, immediately!

Fry:Sorry, Randy. Step away from the car and no one gets hurt! Ow! To the employment cave!

Bender:Whoa, whoa, there, girl. Go on now! Get on back to Paraguay!

Amy · Leela:We're being eaten by a giant spider! There's no time for that! The Professor needs us!

Fry:What is it?! I'm on the edge of my butt!

Professor:soda machine!

Fry:You undersold it, Professor! Look, it has Slurm Loco! It's the extremiest!

Bev · Bender:Hey, what can I get y'all? Wow, you can talk? Shut up and give me a Slurm Loco.

Bev:Y'all can't drink at work! This ain't a sawmill!

Bev:I call myself 'Bev.' And if you're looking for a smelly old can of booze, go look in the mirror.

Fry:And one more to wash that Slurm taste out of my mouth.

Fry · Bender:So I went to the bathroom and my pee was green. Pretty neat, huh? I was wondering who Shrekked in the toilet.

Bev:Cut me some slack, preacher. I'm just a coal grinder's daughter trying to stay off the pole.

Bender:With that big ol' caboose, it'd have to be a telephone pole!

Bev · Bender:Well, I guess a fella's gotta talk big when he's sportin' a little shriveled-up antenna like that. What?! For your information, 'madam,' it's a grower, not a show-er!

Bender:My antenna's fine. It's just fine. Ladies can't get enough Bender.

Bender:Call me old-fashioned, but I like a little romance in an orgy.

Fry:Just sitting here turning quarters into urine.

Robot prostitutes:We don't gotta put up with this. We got Poli Sci degrees.

Robot prostitute:Hot. I could bake a potato in my cleavage.

Robot prostitute:Trashy? At least I don't put out for quarters.

Bender:All right, I've been waiting all day for an excuse to hit a lady.

Bev:Ooh, I'm so scared, No-Arms.

Bender:Uh, Fry? You're glowing like the Human Torch on prom night.

Leela:Shouldn't you be standing on a rocky coast somewhere preventing shipwrecks?

Fry:Nice, hate me because of the brightness of my skin.

Fry:You okay, ma'am? I think your soda water broke.

Fry:My God! Bev just had a baby in my cup!

Amy:Aw, he's so cute. Wait. No, he isn't.

Bender:Oh, no, no, no. No way am I that kid's Dad!

Ben · Bender:Wipe my tiny metal ass! Aw, crap.

Bender:Aw, crap.

Amy:Ugh! In public?

Bender:Are you telling me the stuff we did in private, and also twice on the sidewalk, made a baby robot? How?!

Bender:No. She was a religious fundamentalist. Plus she didn't have a mouth. It's an unusual combination.

Crew · Professor:We don't know either. Then prepare to be embarrassed.

Narrator:Sex Ed, Volume One, or... Pants Full of Shame!

Bender · Narrator:Hey, he looks like me! His hideous appearance is a by-product of his hardware gearing up for an important mission: reproduction.

Narrator:The best he can do is Francine.

Narrator:It's all perfectly natural. Let's watch, aroused, as Gerald's antenna uploads a binary file to Francine's internal drive.

Narrator:Except masturbation. That's just wrong.

Leela · Bender:Bev will get custody, and you'll be a deadbeat Dad who never even bothers to know his own son. You really think so? I know so. You're absolutely horrible in every way.

Bender:You're sweet, Leela.

Bender · Notary:So here's my certificate of abandonment drawn up by our notary! That'll be ten bucks.

Bev:Damn baby's drivin' me crazy! He won't stop giggling no matter how much I scream at him!

Bev:I still got womanly needs! Who's gonna look twice at me with this dirty leech hangin' off my dairy nozzle?

Ben:Bend some other stuff! Ben'! Ben'!

Bender:I'm gonna call him Ben... after the first half of me... Bender.

Ben:You bended it like a 'petzel.'

Bender · Ben:Leela was wrong! Leela was wrong!

Ben:But my mommy had no arms! Does that mean I can never be a bender?

Robot Doctor:I hate to crush a boy's dreams, but what the heck.

Bender · Robot Doctor:Don't tell my son what he can and can't do! You may know what's in his head, but you don't know what's in his heart! There's no slot in there either. I said shut up!

Ben:I'd like to thank the Preacherbot for the introduction and also for not circumcising me again, am I right? Twice was enough.

Bender:I could take him or leave him.

Bev · Fry:I've come to take him and leave with him! She beat you to both things.

Bev · Bender:Oh, yeah? Well, I'm still less unfitter than you. Says who?! Says this document you gave me when you tried to abandon Ben first!

Bender:That doesn't prove I'm an unfit parent! I was drunk and violent when I signed that!

Professor:That's it, Fry! For a guy who's not too bright, you're too damn bright! Now, get out! And don't come back until someone finds a use for a million-watt idiot!

Bender:That's it, Fry! For a guy who's not too bright, you're too damn bright! Now, get out! And don't come back until someone finds a use for a million-watt idiot!

Ben · Bev:Mom, will I ever get to see Dad again? No, he died yesterday. Rust monsters ate his face. Sweet dreams!

Bender:Only a fool plans more than a few centuries ahead, son.

Police Officer:You're under arrest for kidnapping and burning raccoons without a permit!

Bender · Ben:There's a dam! Damn! There's a grate! Great!

Ben:Yeah, this ain't gonna happen.

Ben:Is that even necessary?

Leela:I'm amazed someone who dispenses such warm soda, could be so coldhearted!

Fry:I'm gonna buy a drink just so I can throw it in your face!

Leela · Bev:You got knocked up by a police officer while he was looking for your kidnapped child? Sure did! I still got it.

Bender:Damn it, I love that little guy so much! I'd sacrifice any four of you if it would help him bend even a little!

Robot Doctor:He'd be able to bend, but he'd lose all his memories. He wouldn't even remember who you are.

Bender:No! I said with the mouth you're looking at.

Ben:Who are you again?

Ben:Who are you again?