Bend Her

Sports announcer:Celebrity Ape Fight will return next week at its regular time.

Fry:Who should I root for? America? Or a country I learned about at the food court?

Leela:No. They're from the Republic of French Stereotypes. Everybody hates them.

Hermes:All this inspiring multiculturalism is angrying up my blood!

Hermes:Go on, stick, touch me. Can't do it.

LaBarbara:Quit lying to your pudgy self.

Fry:Yeah. Isn't that basically all Jamaicans do?

Hermes:Which is why the limbo team got detained at the airport.

Hermes:I described it to them on the phone using a series of artful euphemisms.

Professor Farnsworth:Don't worry. The fat pig will do fine...

Hermes:Those haven't descended in years!

Zoidberg:Look at that fine Jamaican bacon!

Bender:Something tells me I could easily beat those trained professionals.

Bender · Leela:My dreams of glory died before they began. Welcome to my life.

Barbados Slim:Hermes Conrad, is that you inside that dumpy little fat man?

Hermes:Your body may be as perfectly sculpted as it was 20 years ago... When you whupped my fat ass every time.

Hermes:I see you're still able to limbo under the bar of fashion sense.

Hermes:That's it, Barbados Slim! You've gone one toke over the line!

LaBarbara:God, I hope he wins.

LaBarbara:He's limboed out of retirement and straight into my heart.

LaBarbara:I say, 'Go to hell, Barbados Slim!'

Fry:Come on, Hermes! Beat that mahogany god!

LaBarbara:If I'd wanted a human adonis for a husband... I'd have stayed married to Barbados Slim.

Bender:I wish everybody else was dead.

Bender:Methinks a clever man-Bot, suitably disguised... Might win those events.

Bender:My name is Coilette, and I'm from Robonia.

Official:But 'Robonia' sounds like something somebody made up on the spot.

Bender · Official:Ever been beaten up by a guy dressed like a chick? Yeah.

Bender:I'm great! Everybody else sucks! Except that guy Bender. He's really something.

Leela:You actually thought they'd let you walk away without an engine-Oil sex check?

Bender · Professor Farnsworth:Professor, make a woman out of me! Oh, I think we should just stay friends.

Professor:Replacing your testoster-Oil with fem-Bot lubricants... Can cause wild mood swings.

Bender:Pfft.

Professor Farnsworth:But for the proud people of Robonia!

Amy:I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy and wrong and sick. However, I will watch out of curiosity.

Official:I have to get home to watch The Zombie Osbournes.

Bender:Hail, hail Robonia... A land I didn't make up...

Leela:You're making us look like jerks in front of the other genders!

Bender:Dear Lord, a coaster!

Professor:The Femmzoil must be sashaying girlishly into your processor.

Bender:My breasts are keeping me awake at night anyway.

Bender:No, I don't have my own limo. You'd better send one.

Calculon:Funny story. The script called for me to say 'yes.' But I gave it a little twist.

Humorbot 5.0:Anecdote accepted. Snappy comeback not found.

Bender:If you ask me, women today are too stuck-up... To go out and jiggle their Jell-O like everybody wants them to.

Bender:Oh, I bet you say that to all the five-Olympic-Gold-Medal-Winning fem-Bots.

Calculon:From this day forth, I shall do so whenever possible.

Bender:That's my favorite kind of 'this.'

Calculon:Of course I would.

Bender:This top makes me look fat. Is it trampy to go on a first date nude?

Bender:But just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.

Bender:Men love it when you really glob it on.

Bender:I tell you, men are so much better at being women.

Bender:Barry White?

Bender:That'll stick a potato in his tailpipe.

Professor Farnsworth:She's becoming a slave to her emotions. Just like all women. Particularly you, Leela.

Elzar:You saved me a trip to the dump. Bam!

Calculon:I'd appreciate it if you didn't 'bam' the young lady.

Calculon:It's as if you understand the male mind better than I.

Bender:Oh, yes, you have.

Bender:Whoo! I'm a trophy girlfriend!

Bender:And then I can turn back into a guy and hock all this stuff. It's just a game.

Bender:Oh, Calculon. Yes, I will!

Bender:It's sort of a two-person pyramid scheme.

Fry:That's marriage, all right.

Leela:I, uh. I thought I might like him on a full stomach.

Bender:Zoidy-Poo? Please tell me frilly is in this year.

Zoidberg:Late at night it taunts me with its frosted beauty.

Calculon:It's the remote control to my heart. It symbolizes the power you have to sway my emotions.

Bender:Will it work on my TV?

Bender · Calculon:Would we have donkeys? All you could eat.

Bender:Oh, curse this woman's heart!

Leela:If there's one kind of pain he can handle... It's soap opera pain.

Preacher:Who might be looking for someone to play a preacher...

Zoidberg:Oh, it appears to be a case of African hydraulic fever!

Calculon:Dear God! The very illness my TV character caught in season two... When I was holding out for more money.

Calculon:When I was holding out for more money.

Calculon:Deep in the diamond mines of the Congo.

Elzar:You really thought you could steal those diamonds from me and Congo Jack?

Calculon:Why?

Zoidberg:Yes! And I have a message for you from Col. Matombay. He says, 'This is from Congo Jack.'

Calculon:N-O-O-O!

Calculon:And this time, the Academy will not deny me. Not when they see Coilette: The Calculon Story.

Calculon:Every emotion an actor can display.

Professor Farnsworth:Turn off that crap-O-Rama!

Professor:I hope this taught you a lesson about changing your sex to win gold medals.

Bender:He and I could drive to Vegas, pick up some floozy-Bots... And void their warranties all night long! Whoo!

Fry:And his respect for women is back to normal.

Bender:Emotions are dumb and should be hated.

Fry:Sentimental dribble poop! Come on, Bender, let's go. This chick flick is getting me all barfy.

Bender:I said, 'You two don't dress trampy enough!'