Spanish Fry

Hermes:Oh, Lord. Hiking is always such a strain on the buttocks.

Bender:Don't tell me you actually believe in Bigfoot, you blathering ninny-Hammer.

Fry:Bigfoot's my hero. Growing up, he was the celebrity I most identified with... Because he was a loner who hated the popular monsters yet longed to be one.

Bender:Enough emotions. This isn't a fat camp, for God's sake.

Bender:Although you wouldn't know it from looking.

Professor:Bender, if you want to sleep in the tent tonight... You're welcome to join me and Hermes for a little 'just friends' spooning.

Ranger Park:Hi, I'm Ranger Park, the park ranger. I get it.

Documentary narrator:In the dense forests of the Pacific Northwest... Dwells the strange and beautiful creature known as Bigfoot, perhaps.

Documentary narrator:Today threaten what might possibly be his habitat. Although if it's not, they don't.

Documentary narrator:They typically dwell just behind rocks, but are also sometimes playful... Bounding into thick fogs and out-of-focus areas.

Ranger Park:It should say 'Top Quality Exercycle For Sale.' And could you put 'Top Quality' in bold? You can't? Okay, whatever.

Documentary narrator:Bigfoot is a crucial part of the ecosystem, if he exists. So let's all help keep Bigfoot possibly alive... For future generations to enjoy, unless he doesn't exist.

Ranger Park:But I do see him each night in my dreams... And each day in the smiling faces of hairy children.

Ranger Park:I have some of someone who saw him.

Bender:Oh, he's gone. He said you should keep wasting your life, though.

Ranger Park:What you saw was Bigfoot the monster truck. But thanks for a great question.

Ranger Park:That would be very expensive... And most people who believe in Bigfoot are broke.

Bender:Where? Up your face. Everybody do the Bender.

Bender:That guy won't be going home to his kids.

Alien:Fry. Fry, wake up. It's me, Bigface. Come out and groom my mangy fur.

Fry:Bigfoot? You taught yourself English?

Fry:I bet you have a wounded raccoon friend... That you tenderly nurse back to health while you go: [makes sounds] In the end, they shoot you, but you teach us about things.

Fry:Why does your vanity plate say 'Probe 1'?

Professor · Bender:Bender, wasn't that Fry's tent? 'Bender.'

Professor:Fry, what in Sega Genesis happened to you?

Zoidberg:Fry, you have no nose. Your nose is gone. You have no nose on your face. Where it is, I can't say... But on your face it's not.

Bender:You chopped off your nose so you could look more like your hero: me, Bender.

Fry:I don't get that gesture. Am I wrong?

Fry:I don't want to teach a new one how to shoot milk when I laugh.

Fry:My nose is an aphrodisiac? I'm gonna drop a barf.

Fry:Snarfs it and does the worm.

Leela:We've been to every scuzzy bazaar... In the galaxy, including Pottery Barn.

Alien merchant:Welcome, friends. How may I pervert you?

Leela · Bender:Of course not. In fact, he's a crook. Yep. Stolen Pez, anyone?

Alien merchant:Human horn. So fresh you can still see the eyeglass marks.

Alien merchant:I videotape everyone who comes in here so I can blackmail them later.

Alien merchant:Hey, I'm a porno-dealing monster. What do I care what you think?

Bender:That's exactly the lie we used to get past your guards.

Lrrr:Why would a virile male like Lrrr need human horn? I don't even know what it's for. What is it... Something you put in salad dressing?

Ndnd · Lrrr:Like you've ever seen a salad. My weight is appropriate and attractive.

Fry:I guess I'll just go home and marry a skunk.

Ndnd:For the last time, I don't like lilacs. Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs. She also liked to shut up.

Lrrr:But I thought the horn was the human wing-dang-doodle.

Bender:The main event, so to speak, is downstairs near the wallet.

Bender:Ever seen soccer players line up to block a free kick? They ain't covering their noses, I'll tell you that much.

Lrrr:Interesting. The trousers conceal a tiny secondary horn.

Lrrr:Then bring it to our royal bedchamber and put it in the sock drawer... With the other things that have failed to arouse my passion for this woman.

Fry · Bender:I'm usually the first guy to toot my own horn-- I'll say! Whoo! But in this case I don't think it's gonna do any good. That's what she said! Whoo!

Lrrr · Ndnd:Yes, but I'm the one who injured them. Oh, shush. You stepped on them by accident and then you cried all night.

Ndnd:And you used to wear a size 3 cape, but not anymore!

Fry:I keep my horn as long as you two end up doing the horizontal monster mash.

Ndnd:Why don't you just inject some fat... Straight into your ass and cut out the middleman?

Lrrr:Bang. Zoom. Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8.

Bender:It's used to it! Whoo!

Bender:Boy, who knew a cooler could also make a handy wang coffin.

Fry:Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle, but I pulled it out. Just like at the movie theater! Whoo!

Ranger Park:So I can chop off his feet as proof he exists... Then dump him back in the wild. He'll do fine.

Lrrr · Bender:This human's lower horn is one of God's creatures. A living thing. And all living things, large and small-- In this case, small! Whoo!

Bender:As usual! Whoo!

Leela · Bender:Well, Fry, it looks like you get to hold on to your lower horn. As usual! Whoo!

Narrator:You ask a passerby for directions... Only to find he has no face or something.

Mad scientist:I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals... To make the most evil creature of them all. It turns out it's man.