Character Analysis
Elzar
Played by John DiMaggio
47 jokes across 21 episodes of Futurama
5.8
47
6.7
6.4
Character Comedy
Elzar delivers 47 scored jokes across 21 episodes of Futurama, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.4 on impact for a career WAR of 5.8. Their comedy leans toward character comedy. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Elzar Lines
Elzar · Bender:Very good, sir. Shall I pre-warm sir's crack pipe?
Elzar:This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!
Elzar:I'll have to kill you later for some other reason.
Elzar:to get reservations you had to create a parallel universe, where you had reservations!
Elzar · Bender:Are you an ass-kissing machine? Yes, sir! Good one, sir!
All Jokes — 47 total
Elzar · Bender:Bender! Bender! Over here! Oh, jeez. I went to high school with that guy.
Elzar:Elzar's cooking show mentions 'give it a blast from your spice weasel. Bam!'
Elzar · Bender:Honey, we love you! Shut up, baby, I know it!
Elzar · Bender:Are you an ass-kissing machine? Yes, sir! Good one, sir!
Elzar:Turns out I forgot to cook that chicken.
Elzar:Now, this is why I prefer your non-stick robots.
Elzar:Step one: Boil some oysters in a pot of Neptune-style gumbo.
Elzar:Now and then, knock it up a notch with your spice weasel.
Amy · Elzar:The king crab is to die for! Look, a tiny, edible crown! What's it made of? Wood.
Leela · Elzar · Bender:Hey! A bill? You're charging us, after you blinded me? I made a nice meal. This ain't a charity. Twelve hundred dollars? Holy zombie Jesus!
Elzar:I don't know. I try to hire people who are less unbearable.
Bender · Elzar:Bam! Bam yourself.
Bender · Elzar · Robot Mafia:Are they the Robot Mafia? Yes. You call this a table? You call this a table? I wouldn't hit a guy with this!
Bender · Elzar:I've always wanted to be a goon! Hey, Elzar! I quit! Okay!
Elzar:I don't know which I like more, smashing cars or faces.
Elzar:Yo, sexy mama, let's get busy and freaky, in that order.
Elzar:It's got a nice profit margin. Bam!
Elzar:To celebrate, I'm gonna stick seven copies of my book on your bill.
Elzar:And to your lady friends, may I say, 'Bam.'
Elzar:Now I'm the sleaze bag who owns the New New York Mets.
Elzar:with mango chutney
Elzar:One, your antenna's in my crotch. Also, I hate you.
Elzar:I knocked it up a notch. Bam!
Elzar:to get reservations you had to create a parallel universe, where you had reservations!
Elzar:Get lost, old man.
Elzar:Cilantro, mango salsa, raspberry vinaigrette.
Elzar:What'd he do, bland himself to death?
Elzar · Bender:Very good, sir. Shall I pre-warm sir's crack pipe?
Elzar:You saved me a trip to the dump. Bam!
Elzar:You really thought you could steal those diamonds from me and Congo Jack?
Elzar:If it ain'ts the world's number ones Internet sensation!
Elzar:Mrs. Astor takes nitroglycerine for her heart, and being a class act, she prefers it in soufflé form.
Elzar:Bam.. To prevent the soufflé from exploding, Bender will carry it. He's gyroscopically stable.
Elzar:Shut up! I said it first!
Elzar:He's only using the choicest cuts of hummingbird.
Elzar:Murakami-San got his hands on a nice rack of angel wings. Gonna grind 'em up into heavenwurst.
Elzar:Pork that's been aged for 3,000 years!
Elzar:I'll have to kill you later for some other reason.
Elzar:This is the greatest injustice Germany has ever committed!
Elzar:she prefers it in soufflé form
Elzar:Bam..
Fry · Elzar:Sounds like fun on a bun! Shut up! I said it first! Bam! Also, ow.
Elzar:So you are using pork! Pork that's been aged for 3,000 years! Bam!
Elzar:Sorry, Grundy. I'll have to kill you later for some other reason.
Elzar · Character:They're the sweetest thing on the menu. Not even close!
Elzar:It's great. Very flat.
Elzar · Customer:Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. / You missed a spot. / Bam?