30 Iron Chef

TV Host:But apparently my wife hasn't been listening.

Morbo:I will destroy her!

Elzar:with mango chutney

Fry:What's with the pots and pans? Building a wife?

Bender:Part of one.

Fry:I'd better warn... Tell... Warn-tell the others.

Professor:I put a tiny spaceship inside to keep it from being boring.

Professor:For the last time, Zoidberg, look with your eyes, not your claws!

Amy:Oh, God, my tract!

Leela:Don't panic. If we can get to the ship, we'll fly north and hide under the polar icecaps.

Leela:With you blocking the only escape route? Don't be silly.

Bender:Stop crying, Leela.

Zoidberg:Surrender your mysteries to Zoidberg.

Zoidberg:But if Zoidberg fixes it, then perhaps gifts.

Bender:For example, Amy, you're cute, so I baked you a pony.

Bender:I slaved all day over a filthy stove.

Leela:Good thing I secretly installed this wormhole in the table.

Leela:You know, I'm not quite sure.

Bender:You guys like swarms of things, right?

Zoidberg:Casual hello. It's me, Zoidberg. Act naturally.

Bender:Check out the palm tree. It gets sick when I cook brunch.

Bender:How's that for coincidence, professor, with all your precious science?

Hermes:I don't want to hurt his feelings, but this tastes better as vomit.

Amy:What would it cost to get my tongue removed?

Bender:Then it's settled. Elzar will teach me to cook!

Bender:You owe me.

Elzar:One, your antenna's in my crotch. Also, I hate you.

Elzar:I knocked it up a notch. Bam!

Zoidberg:When the professor finds out, he'll tear me a new cloaca!

Bender:Frame someone.

Bender:My dream of being a chef is deader than the cat I'm sitting on.

Gus:A 'robo'. You know, a robot hobo.

Bender:I thought you said 'romo'.

Bender:I've seen bigger. Wait, I'm thinking of Eugene, Oregon.

Elzar:to get reservations you had to create a parallel universe, where you had reservations!

Nixon's Head:I once ate there, back when I was a senator.

Hobo:I once ate there, back when I was a senator.

Elzar:Get lost, old man.

Spargle:Mein soufflé!

Elzar:Cilantro, mango salsa, raspberry vinaigrette.

Bender:My story's like yours, only interesting. It involves robots.

Bender:I'd trade them all, even smision, to be able to taste!

Spargle:Just as Beethoven was a great composer because he was deaf!

Spargle:Or how Rembrandt was blind and had wooden hands!

Bender:Done.

Leela:I'm acting astonished.

Professor:leaving this confession note!

Professor:I have no choice but to charge you the full cost of the materials. $10.

Spargle:Because my stomach is about to explode.

Bender:A diamond vial of Mrs. Dash?

Hobo:I'm not drunk. I'm mentally ill. But I likes what, what you said.

Elzar:What'd he do, bland himself to death?

Bender:Maybe so, but you're his sworn enemy!

Bender:I can't lose. I'm 30% iron.

Bender:Also, I had a reservation for one, under Dr. Bender.

Martha Stewart's Head:The secret is fresh pork.

Bender:If it's chicken, chicken à la king. Fish, fish à la king.

Bender:Turkey, fish à la king.

Hiroki:he asked what it was to me and conjectured my mother was a prostitute.

Hiroki:In the countryside, prostitutes decorate rooms with festive gourds.

Hiroki:I've never seen such powerful strokes of the ass.

Hobo:My turkey is dry, and I've tried everything.

Bender:Master Spargle, if you can hear me up in that ditch, where I left you...

Hiroki:He's even garnished the salad with $100 bills.

Bubblegum Tate:Soylent Green is my kind of people.

Morbo:Morbo will store this in his sack for future digestion.

Martha Stewart's Head:I'm swimming in my Soylent waste. It's a good thing.

Bubblegum Tate:This food looks kind of funky, but it tastes kind of funk-ay!

Professor:That's my robot! I own him!

Chairman Koji:Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Bender:accept only the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up.

Bender:Also, it comes with double prize money.

Zoidberg:Wait. Everyone must know. I broke the professor's bottled ship! And what is worse, I framed my dearest friend, Fry!

Bender:I can never repay him his $10, so I must take the only honorable path...

Chairman Koji:That sword cost $5000!

Bender:Fry did it.

Professor:Spargle's magic ingredient was water! Ordinary water.

Professor:Yes, ordinary water, laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of LSD.

Bender:Now, who wants brunch cooked with plenty of 'confidence'?