Where No Fan Has Gone Before

Zapp Brannigan:Quiet, you! This court-Martial is now in session. The honorably sexy Zapp Brannigan residing.

Zapp Brannigan:Do you understand the charges? One beep for yes, two beeps for no.

Fry · Zapp Brannigan · Kif:Double yes. Guilty! I will now carry out the sentence. Kif, my gun. / Wait! He pled not guilty! / Order! Order in the court! Very well then, Mr. Fry. Please recount the events that led you to be guilty.

Fry · Bender · Leela:Everybody hit the deck! Shh! Those words are forbidden. What words? Star Trek? Shh! Shut your gills!

Zapp Brannigan · Leela:You mean the vast migration of Star Wars fans? No. That was the Star Wars Trek.

Zapp Brannigan:From a loose association of nerds with skin problems into a full-Blown religion.

Zapp Brannigan:And so the Trekkies were executed in the manner most befitting virgins.

Zapp Brannigan:Along with that blooper reel where the door doesn't close all the way.

Zapp Brannigan:Another classic science-Fiction show cancelled before its time.

Zapp Brannigan:I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice... That I cared so little about.

Bender:She's all yours, buddy.

Fry:You know, 1966? 79 episodes, about 30 good ones.

Nimoy:Perhaps you're thinking of my one-Man show... About Vincent van Spock? I mean, van Gogh. Damn!

Nimoy:But I just signed a six-Month lease on my apartment. I can't walk away from a commitment like that.

Shatner:I'm literally angry with rage!

Leela:But it's set 800 years in the past.

Fry:'Cause it taught me so much. Like how you should accept people, whether they be black, white... Klingon, or even female.

Bender:Forbidden, schmur-Schmidden. What are they gonna do, write a letter? I'm so scared! / I've lost control of the ship!

Fry · Nimoy:Oh, dip! / Dip, indeed.

Shatner:I feel like hugging you. Well, I would, except you have no body. And we're both men.

Shatner:We did some musical reunion specials in the 2200s. But the guy who played Scotty had trouble yodeling. Ever since then, Welshie has been a welcome participant in our escapades.

Chekov · Fry:Ven vee voke up, vee had these wah-Dies. / Now say 'nuclear wessels'! No!

Shatner · Fry:Check out these abs. / Yowsa!

Everyone:Welshie!

Zapp Brannigan · Leela:This court will now hear some very sensual testimony... From this court's ex-Lover, Turanga Leela. / Go **** yourself.

Bender:All right, you gas, what's the deal?

Melllvar:I am Melllvar, Seer of the Tapes! Knower of the Episodes! Tremble before my encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek!

Melllvar · Fry:Until time stops. / What? You can't do this!

Amy · Melllvar:Can people who hate Star Trek leave? Good question. No, you have to stay even longer! Oh!

Melllvar · Shatner:Sign it to Melllvar. Melllvar has three L's. / I think I've done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar.

Shatner · Fry:I'm Slim Shady. Yes, I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up? How can you do a spoken word version of a rap song?

Melllvar · Fry:For 100 quatloos, who did the captain maroon on Ceti Alpha V? / Khan! / Uh, Khan? Correct!

Fry · Melllvar:You have my fan script? / I meant me! Melllvar's the ultimate fan! / Oh, I was confused because the scoreboard says something different.

Leela · Fry · Nimoy:Usually on the show, someone would come up with a complicated plan... Then explain it with a simple analogy. / Hmm. If we can re-Route engine power through the primary weapons... And reconfigure them to Melllvar's frequency... That should overload his electro-Quantum structure. / Like putting too much air in a balloon! / Of course! It's so simple!

Leela:Of course! It's so simple!

Shatner:Alas, my ship, whom I love like a woman, is disabled.

Chekov · Shatner:Captain, I wope he will welp our vessel. / Wessel!

Shatner:When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance... Out of Bill because I respected him. And when I directed Star Trek V, I got a magnificent performance out of me... Because I respected me so much!

Bender:Okay! I'm done re-ca-foobelling the energy motron, or whatever!

Shatner · Fry:My, what a handsome energy creature you are! I love you. / Hey, you wrote it!

Leela · Fry:It's not working! He's drawing strength from our weapons! / Like a balloon, and something bad happens!

Nichols:Yeah! In the third season, I kissed Shatner.

Fry:Great list, except you forgot episode 66!

Fry:Great list, except you forgot episode 66!

Leela:Can we get on with this? My foot's getting tired.

Nimoy · Shatner · Nimoy:You mean Doohan? / Whoever it was, I did it like this. / Ow! My foot's cold.

Bender:And we can use this machine gun to shoot them! / Yee-Haa!

Sulu · Kirk · Sulu:Just because I'm of Japanese ancestry, you assume I know karate. Have I ever led you to believe I have studied karate? / Well, no. But you never talk about yourself. / Maybe if you showed a little interest.

Takei:Just because I'm of Japanese ancestry, you assume I know karate. Have I ever led you to believe I have studied karate?

Fry · Bender:There's no right way to hit a woman. Then do it the wrong way. Fine.

Fry · Leela:There's no right way to hit a woman. / Then do it the wrong way. / Fine.

Melllvar's Mom · Melllvar:Melllvar! Dinnertime! / But, Mom, I'm playing with my collectibles! / Now!

Nimoy:He's not a child! He's 34!

Fry:We're too heavy! You guys need to lose some weight, fast!

Shatner · Nimoy:Look, Leonard, we're light enough to keep the tapes! Isn't that great? / I'm living in a gefilte-Fish jar.

Melllvar:Yes! In mint condition, and you made me take it out of the package!

Shatner:Thanks a lot, Takei. Now everybody knows!

Koenig:Not just an actor, but a well-Rounded person... With my own friends and credit cards and keys.

Koenig:Not just an actor, but a well-rounded person... With my own friends and credit cards and keys.

Melllvar · Koenig:Well, I guess I could move out of my parent's basement... Maybe get a temp job. Whoa. Whoa! One step at a time.

Melllvar · Fry:Episode 10: 'Balance of Terror.' / More like episode nine, loser! / In your face! Victory is mine!

Sulu:A full assortment of rum, both spiced and regular.

Fry · Shatner:And all you had to put up with was one really annoying Star Trek fan. / Let's get the hell out of here.