Put Your Head On My Shoulders

Malfunctioning Eddie:Four score and 1145 years ago... our forefathers' foreheads conceived a new nation

Malfunctioning Eddie:I'm Malfunctioning Eddie... and I'm malfunctioning so badly, I'm giving these cars away!

Amy:My parents said if I got B's, they'd buy me a bar. I got all C's!

Bender:Mind if I tag along? My ass needs servicing

Leela:No wonder you're at the end of conga lines

Victor:This is a Beta Romeo. Yes, the Beta Romeo

Victor:Note the cross-your-heart seat belt. It protects, lifts and separates

Victor · Fry:Yeah, beautiful coffee. No, the Ford Thunder Cougar Falcon Bird!

Victor:I see you don't care if people question your sexual orientation

Fry:I do, but I don't know how to make them stop!

Victor:The seats are stuffed with eagle down... the dash inlaid with beaks of eagles. There are eagles under the floorboards

Victor:What's wrong? The luxury edition has more eagle

Professor Farnsworth:I installed bumpers to reduce the risk of butt failure

Bender:You, sir, have defaced a national treasure! I demand you restore my buttocks to their former glory!

Professor Farnsworth:All right, but that ass is gonna blow, and when it does... I pray you're not mooning someone you care about

Victor:No dog food for Victor tonight!

Amy · Fry:Sixty thousand! ... I thought it was an auction

Amy · Victor:The sticker says $55,000. But we'll only go as high as, say... Sixty thousand!

Victor · Amy:He is not too happy. I'm sorry. Eighty thousand?

Hermes:You're asking for a day off? Get out of my sight! ... I asked me for Valentine's Day off. I was in no mood for my shenanigans

Fry:Valentine's Day's coming? I forgot to get a girlfriend again

Amy · Fry:The usual. Boiling lead, lava. So, what? Shorts?

Amy:Boy, this a/c is incredible. I better turn on the heater too

Amy:This heater is incredible! I better turn up the a/c some more

Fry:I'm in the Astro-Afro-Antarctico-Amerasian Auto Association

Fry:You're rich. How come you dress like you're doing your laundry?

Fry:My folks were always on me to wear underpants. What am I, the pope?

Amy:If you were, they'd be all, 'Straighten your pope hat' and 'Put on your good vestments'

Amy:It's nice to find someone I can talk to about stuff, and junk. It's like we feel the same way about junk and stuff, or whatever

Amy:While they tow us, you wanna do it?

Bender:You snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics...

Bender:Please! For your information, it's because he's hideous

Bender:$500 and time served. Stupid anti-pimping laws

Elzar · Bender:Honey, we love you! Shut up, baby, I know it!

Bender:Computer dating. Like pimping, but you rarely say 'upside your head'

Leela · Bender:Why would anyone ask you for help? Don't make me go upside your head!

Leela:If you disrupt the mating dance... the male will maul us with his fearsome gonad

Zapp Brannigan:Check off what you look for in a mate. Let's see. Oh, yes. Yes, definitely. I'd like some of that. I'll just have everything on the menu

Bender · Zapp:Okay, Mister...? Smith. Zapp Smith. Brannigan.

Fry:Wow, we're great kissers

Fry:It was great. But now she's talking about hanging out. She's getting way too serious

Fry:I do my job, there's Amy. I go to the candy machine, there's Amy. I sleep with Amy, there's Amy

Fry:Face it, I'm a prize catch. I'm pulling down delivery boy money

Fry:She has billions in a trust fund. She wants a trophy husband

Zoidberg:I haven't eaten since Tuesday. Bird eggs. Animal slices. Dry woven reeds

Zoidberg:Pardon me. Excuse me. I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness

Zoidberg:Pardon me. Excuse me. I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness.

Fry · Amy:You know how you like chocolate but get tired of it... when it always wants to hang out? You don't like chocolate? Can chocolate let me finish?

Zoidberg:And the winner of the big car race is Hot Rod Zoidberg!

Professor Farnsworth · Fry:Your body was badly damaged in the crash. How badly? That's it over there

Amy:Looks like we'll be spending a lot more time together, Fry

Amy:Looks like we'll be spending a lot more time together, Fry.

Leela:This always happens with office romances

Fry · Amy:I'll try not to interfere in your life. Sorry. I guess I control that arm

Amy:With my body, I think you'll only attract one sort of woman

Bender · Customer:Losers get really desperate around Valentine's Day. Yeah, it's pathetic, all right

Bender · Customer:Five hundred bucks. Done. Brannigan okay? No! Six hundred

Fry · Amy:Okay, we're done with the bra. Why did you shave? Expecting something to happen with the date?

Amy · Fry:It's deodorant. What does it do?

Fry:20 minutes? You're ready now!

Fry · Bender:I've got a date. She's coming. ... Just like Fry's date. Get it?

Petunia · Fry · Bender:How's them eats? Don't mind if I do. ... She seems old. She's well-traveled. I don't mean she travels

Petunia · Flower Seller:Wheels fell off my house. Rose? Five bucks. Me too. Eight bucks. You said... Demand skyrocketed. You all saw it

Sal · Leela:Nice eyeball, Eyeball. Nice ass, Ass

Petunia:I gotta catch my bus back to Nutley. I'd kiss you but I lost my teeth

Leela · Bender · Bus Driver:Did you round up our dates at the bus station? Of course not. Anybody else for Nutley?

Gary · Leela:Banking industry regulator. Really? I heard that banking industry regulations are very simple. That's not true

Gary · Leela:Modern banking regulations are a product of five regulatory traditions. Six, if you want to get technical. Oh, I do

Professor Farnsworth · Fry:There, good as new. Except your dorsal fin. I couldn't find it after the crash. I'll live without it? You call that living?

Professor Farnsworth · Fry:Why wouldn't you let me graft a laser cannon on your chest? To crush those who disobey you

Amy:If I ever feel lonely... I'll look at this disfiguring scar and think of you

Fry · Bender:It's not like you set us up with bad dates... just so we'd be together. Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?

Leela · Bender:No! You just corralled some stiffs at the bus station and took our money. True. But in the end, isn't that what Valentine's Day is all about?

Bender:True. But in the end, isn't that what Valentine's Day is all about?

Fry · Bender:Watch the neck! My ass! My beautiful...