The Trouble With Truffles

Unknown neighbor:Hey, you mind keepin' it down?

Unknown character:What? Now he's got a wacky neighbor?

Bender · Unknown character:No, maybe you should get out more. / Hmm, maybe we should.

Unknown characters:It's supposed to be very expensive. / Mm, I don't know. It sounds expensive.

Unknown character:♪ Just go already! ♪

Bender:Baby, I'm the entire party.

Unknown character:The Queen of Yonkers... ...Billionairebot, And Daytime Emmy nominee Calculon!

Calculon:I am a demanding actor, so I must order off the menu.

Calculon:Hmm, I don't see anything inconveniencing enough.

Robot Mafia:Yo, we're tryin' not to be noticed right here. / How come you didn't notice us?

Robot Mafia:Not so loud. We're criminals!

Waiter · Customer:Market price. / Well, that doesn't sound so bad. / That's why we say it that way.

Elzar · Customer:Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. / You missed a spot. / Bam?

Bender:I don't even have a sense of taste and these are incredible!

Waiter · Customer:So your total is $83 for the food... That seems reasonable. ...plus $5,000.10 for the truffles, which brings us to a grand total of somethin' like $30,000.

Fry · Waiter · Bender:But-- But-- But I can't afford that! / No? Well then you're gonna have to wash dishes for a month. / Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. No one wants to see that.

Fry · Robot Mafia:Well, deal! I mean, many years from now? I might be dead before then. / Yes. Or right around then.

Fry · Bender:They were indescribable. / That's exactly how I would describe 'em!

Fry:But of all the things I've shoved in my mouth without knowing what they were, they were definitely the best.

Professor · Bender:They're a fungus, you boobs! / You're a fungus!

Bender:I'm so bored, I'm in pain!

Neville · Father:Yum! What is a truffle, anyway? / For God's sake, this is your ninth movie and you never know a damn thing. How did you get this job? / 'Cause you're my father.

Neville · Father:Look, Papa, it's a foul swine! / And his trusty pig!

Educational film narrator · Father:Just don't move into our neighborhood. / Seriously.

Unknown character:I heard Neville died from eating Pop Rocks and Coke.

Bender · Unknown character:I am off to ze Truffle Belt to seek my-- how you say-- fortunini? / That's not how you say it. / That's how I say it!

Unknown character:And I thought he was rude before he was French.

French pig farmer · Bender:Where ze 'ell are you supposed to be from? / Uh, France? / Never 'eard of eet. / Uh, 'Frahnce'? / Ah, oui, Frahnce! Love that place.

French pig farmer · Bender:You get own pig! Oink, oink, oink. / Wow, can I have your talking pig? / All ze pigs can talk here!

Bender:I don't understand. Frenchmen are usually so welcoming.

Auctioneer:I'll start the bidding at negative $1. Negative $1. Will you take negative one? Negative one? No, I'll go down to two. Two, negative two dollars? Do I hear negative two? No. How 'bout negative five?

Someone at auction:What is that, a shaved gerbil?

Bender · Jambone:Alright! I'm gonna call you Jambone. / Wow! A name. Like in the movies.

Bender · Jambone:You smell any money? / You mean truffles? / Oh, right, I forgot there was a middle step.

Jambone:Oh, I really, really want to eat a truffle, but I'm not allowed to eat a truffle, so I can't eat a truffle.

French truffle hunter:Zut alors!

Bender:I would hardly call this rustic.

Bender:That's it. No one spits on my equipment! They may have a big fancy truffle truck, but I've got... Uh... Ah crap, I don't have anything!

Truffle buyer:At the current exchange rate? Uh, 3,000.

Bender:Ten lousy smackaroonies?

Jambone · Bender:What will they shave on their entrées? / Let them shave cake.

Truffle prospector:That's the most remote asteroid in the whole belt. But ain't no one what went never returned. / I'd like to think it's 'cause they died in agony. / Why do you like to think that? / 'Cause I'm psychotic!

Zapp · Bender · Zapp · Bender · Zapp:Why, that one there's more different from all the rest put together. / Which one? / This one. / That one? / That one!

Bender:Hey, what are you doing? Frolickin'?! You cut that out!

Bender:No trees?! But you promised me riches beyond belief! I'm leavin'.

Bender:Gravity's kinda low. We can start yelling again when we get closer to the ground.

Bender:Perfect. You start lookin' for truffles while I complain about how long it's taking you.

Jambone · Bender:Found one. / Already? Well, then I'll complain about how small it is. / Whoa, this is so big, it's gonna be hard to complain about, but I'll try.

Bender:Whoa, this is so big, it's gonna be hard to complain about, but I'll try.

Bender · Jambone:I love you, Jambone! / I love you too, Mr. Bender. / Shut up, piggy. I know it.

Fry · Robot Mafia boss · Clamps:If you're here to see the chair, it'll be 10 bucks. / We're not here to see the chair. / Hold on, boss. It's a pretty nice chair.

Fry · Robot Mafia boss:But you said that wouldn't happen for many years. / I find people worry less when I say it that way. Who needs the stress? It's a silent killer!

Jambone · Bender:It doesn't have a bone. It's boneless. / Well, worn to a stump then.

Jambone:Mr. Bender? Remember not to fall on a thorn.

Jambone:Maybe to hide from a worser monster?

Jambone:Maybe it's a nice monster.

Clamps:Even if it contains no truffles, it's a nice bag. I'll use my clamps.

Fry:It was me! I told 'em. / Now can I get my clothes back?

Clamps:We take turns. It's common courtesy!

Bender:Really? That's horrible.

Bender:Three whole weeks!

Bender:I will never, ever respect you if you don't snarf that fungus.

Jambone:After that first taste, I never had a chance, genetically engineered as I was to crave them.

Jambone:After that first taste, I never had a chance, genetically engineered as I was to crave them.

Hedonismbot:You disgust me, sir, which is difficult to do. Bravo!

Unknown character:Might I suggest some juicy truffle-fed pork?

Hedonismbot:And if we eat one of our own, why then, we are no better than skinny people.

Jambone:Thank you. I'm deeply honored and ashamed.