Crab Splatter

Axl:Because if it's quiet, it's literally pointless.

Axl · Parent:All you had to do was say please. / I said please. Twice! / Well, maybe you should have yelled it.

Parent:Uh, hang on, my son's on fire.

Kif's partner:Kiffy, I wanna replace my wedding ring diamond with whatever this is.

Character:Like Mars? Or Jesus?

Professor:Sorry. I thought this was an air fryer.

Professor:Using this rock hammer I got from a Shawshank Redemption memorabilia website

Zoidberg:I thought it smelled familiar.

Professor:Alas, even though you're immensely poor and that tiny sliver I burned would've made you a millionaire, it rightfully belongs to your whole civilization.

Dr. Judith · Character:That raises an interesting question. / Yes? / What are you doing later?

Dr. Judith · Character:Sorry, you're not my type. / I had to give it a shot. / You actually didn't.

Character:So how'd the rock get to Earth? I mean, it didn't just walk. Right? Back me up, guys.

Dr. Judith:Before Crab.

Character · Dr. Judith:Wow. I feel so special! / You're not.

Character · Dr. Judith:Marry me. / That's not a question. / Marry me?

Character:It's, like, we get it. They were big animals.

Zoidberg:Decapod 10 is nice, but it smells like a clam's armpit.

Character:We won't.

Johnson:Sorry about the trash. Apparently, the previous tenant was kind of a pig.

Johnson · Landlord:It has running water? / It has running something.

Bender · Amy · Leela:¿Quién es Bender? / Uh, I'm late for a gynecologist appointment! / Me too! Let's carpool.

Bender:Porque no quiero Zoidberg to live with us!

Bender:How dare he! That's my move!

Zoidberg:Your Jacuzzi is wonderful! Those jets really get into your crevices.

Leela · Munda:By seeing whether your tentacle is covering the screen again. / Oh, it is.

Leela · Munda:I never had a room. / You guys gave me up for adoption. Remember? / Well, it's the room you would've had.

Mom:God, she looked awful.

Zoidberg · Munda:What do you call it? / A roll of paper towels. / Mm! And the bone is the best part.

Morris · Munda:Who was it? / Nobody. With no cookies.

Munda:You cancelling's become part of the tradition.

Munda:That? That's just her ugly profile photo.

Leela's Parents · Zoidberg:Beach Boys 'I Get Around' performance

Leela:Even though it's not.

Mom:He's a treasure, is what he is.

Zoidberg:When my species mates, they die, so I never met my parents. I never got to experience their love, or abuse, whichever one they were gonna do.

Morris:Well, we won't make that mistake again.

Mom:Sibling rivalry, I love it!

Leela · Morris:You're not my brother! You're a gross, lazy, freeloading bum! / Sibling rivalry, I love it!

Foghorn Leghorn-style clerk:Just sign your John Gamecock here, here, and, uh, fill in your young'un's date of hatchin'. P'caw!

Leela · Zoidberg:That debt was supposed to be mine! / I can't believe I'll have my own debt someday. I promise to nurture and grow it.

Johnson:The dumpster's on the small side, but it's a good school district. I always say, 'location, location, location.'

Real estate agent · Character:Where do you live? / The sewer.

Leela · Zoidberg:You're stealing my parents! / You mean our parents.

Dad:I wish we never abandoned you!

Munda:I wish we never abandoned you!

Parent:Different doctor! Different doctor!

Zoidberg · Morris:Do you mind holding my hand, sir? / Of course.

Zoidberg:I'm afraid... you're stupid.

Leela · Zoidberg · Dr. Judith:But-- but-- How can Zoidberg be related to me? / It defies explanation! / I can explain it!

Dr. Judith:Yes. Did you receive my restraining order?

Dr. Judith:...jazzing them up with claws and tentacles... Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop.

Dr. Judith:And I thought you were just a vapid hunk.

Zoidberg:Use one of those.

Zoidberg:If I die, please donate my debt to a children's hospital.

Zoidberg:Why don't they just spray us with a tea fire hose?

Johnson:We found a refrigerator box that's twice the size of this place! You get a lot more box for your buck out there.

Johnson · Zoidberg:We'll work somethin' out. / Okay. As long as it doesn't involve money.