Children Of A Lesser Bog

Amy · Leela:Aw. He's using his jacket as some kind of security blanket. That's so cute and pathetic.

Fry:Oh, hey, guys. I'm just sucking on my jacket. A Clump-O-Honey candy got stuck right there over a thousand years ago, and I can still taste it.

Fry:Zoidberg, you residue hog! Now all I taste is crab juice.

Fry:I can't. They stopped making it after it got reclassified as industrial glue.

Bender:Don't forget, I came in third on MasterChef Junior.

Bender:Sure. You seem like the kind of guy who has a mouth.

Character · Bender:Whoa! Diabetic coma! / Hm. I better add some sugar to make it less sweet.

Bender:And just a touch of treacle to remind me of my dear departed Aunt Juanita. She drowned in treacle.

Character:You know I'm dying on the floor.

Character:It's a little sticky. It's a lot sticky! And there's something hard in it.

Zoidberg:Luckily, I'm an expert at fixing human beak bones. Are you free Friday for an expensive appointment?

Amy:Shmeird. There's some old alert I set up 20 years ago. Our babies?!

Bender:Something to do with the meatbag life cycle?

Amy · Character · Bender:I have video of the birth. Wanna see it? No! That is the wrong kind of delivery!

Bender · Amy:Life is disgusting. / No, it was beautiful. But I was so not prepared to be a mother.

Bender · Amy:Then can I have your car? No! Too late. I already crashed it.

Amy's parents:'Cause we're so rich, that's like a penny.

Grand Midwife:I know. I recognize your head.

Grand Midwife · Amy:and not for any optional cash donation people sometimes place in that basket. It's green, and there's a little sign on it. Found it!

Grand Midwife:Or not. It's unpredictable. Guess I'll have to wing it. Anybody here from out of town?

Kif · Amy:Oh my. I'm so anxious, my camouflage reflex is kicking in. / No, it's helpful. I wanna look cute for our hundreds of kids.

Amy · Grand Midwife:What's that mean? / It means don't start naming them yet.

Grand Midwife:Four of them made it! Well, three and a half.

Leela:Ew. She's touching them.

Grand Midwife:Eh... Well, in-in the sense that all children are beautiful.

Brannigan · Zoidberg:They can call me Captain Uncle. / Uh, I'll go dispose of this medical waste. With a little butter and lemon.

Character · Bender:Want a picture with the kids? No need. The way they look is burned into my mind.

Amy · Leela:They're nice, you know? Just a kinda little... Super gross.

Amy's parents:That'll be our little secret.

Elzar · Character:They're the sweetest thing on the menu. Not even close!

Character:Question mark.

Newt · Amy · Character · Amy:Mama! Wrong again. / He's shrively! You haven't seen the half of it.

Axl:Do you always have to talk about me?

Leela · Amy · Bender:Seriously? Oh, my God. I must have been super drunk. / Leela, you bone brain! You didn't have sex. Bone.

Bender:Bone.

Amy · Bender:And it's filthy. / Oh, yeah! Educate me, baby.

Narrator · Bender:Except the Amphibiosans. They just barely touch hands while the rest of us are gettin' it on. Yowza. Eh, that was pretty hot.

Bender:Eh, that was pretty hot.

Leela:Are you sure I wasn't drunk? I-I mean, I'm drunk now.

Brannigan:I'm afraid there's no time to discuss the many presents I bought, some of which are large.

Babysitter:784 West 28th Street? Uh-huh. Weird, th-that's what I got. Oh, Earth! Ah! Coulda swore you said Kepler 10B.

Amy:Look at me, chugging mineral water on a weeknight! So wild and free!

Leela:They're a nightmare. A-A sweet, adorable nightmare.

Zapp:Bring a bowl of these candies to my quarters when you're done crying.

Kif · Brannigan:If there's nothing further, I will... / Oh no, you willn't.

Brannigan:These delicious Clumps aren't for eating. Mm! Mm... They're for manscaping. Manscape me, Kif. That's an order.

Brannigan · Kif:It looks like the whole planet has psoriasis. / You're looking at the back of my head, sir.

Bear Biologist:Oh, yeah. Transmitter got ripped up by bears. That's what we study here. Bears. I'm a bear biologist.

Bear Biologist · Brannigan · Bear Biologist:I used to be a whale biologist, but I hate whales. Hate them. / Well, then it's good you found an animal you like. / Nope. Still looking.

Bear Biologist:This bear species is known as tardigrades. It's a fancy word for ugly. Oh, shut up, you stupid bear!

Bear Biologist:Are you bat crackers? If they smell human food, they go bat crackers!

Children · Leela:Let's go! Faster! Faster! Go, horseface, go! Neigh!

Child:Rum raisin tastes just like caterpillars!

Amy:Are you done spoiling my kids rotten so they'll love you more?

Amy:Well, you can trot back to the barn now!

Brannigan:Stop licking my velour! It's dry clean only!

Brannigan:And stay away from my scrotums!

Grand Midwife · Scruffy:plus trace DNA from a certain Scruffy. Scruffy's stuff gets around.

Grand Midwife:Yeah, FYI, y-you've got a little jelly right there.

Brannigan:Help me, Kif! They found the secret candy in my girdle!

Brannigan:Naked Kif, you saved my life! You have my undying loyalty. Eat Kif! He's boneless!

Grand Midwife:Okay, but it doesn't lessen the shame.

Bear Biologist:Bear number 23 was also stupid, fighting for scraps while I dined on salmon tartare. None for you, losers!

Grand Midwife:Some call it a tiki hut.

Grand Midwife:Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen. Cheap, lousy wall.

Grand Midwife:For only a small additional fee.