The Impossible Stream

Professor:And we're out of business. Good news! We're back in business! We've been hired to deliver an envelope.

Professor:You're the finest crew I've had the honor to work with. Oh, my. We're being foreclosed upon. You're all terrible and incompetent.

Hermes:Wait, I found a loophole in the mortgage. If we actually pay it, we can keep the building.

Fry:while us men reminisce and smoke some stogies

Leela:We are not packing lunches, you walking beer commercials.

Fry:We're a delivery company!

Fry:Wow. That's actually a really good idea, for a woman.

Amy:I promised myself I wouldn't pose naked until I was married.

Zoidberg:Here's mine. 'All female employees must pose nude if requested.' Sounds fair.

Bender:Over. Time is money, peaches. Now shut your com-link and make love to the camera. And remember, I'm the camera.

Bender:Whatever. I ran out of film an hour ago.

Professor:No, no, this won't do. A three-month calendar? What is this, Mercury?

Leela · Professor:But that was my idea! Then you should have talked louder. What?

Fry · Amy:Sorry, ma'am, I'll have to confiscate your artificial kneecap. Okay, here you go.

Fry:Who ever heard of a plane with a woman President?

Fry:Welcome to Plan Am flight one to Acapulsar. The local time on Acapulsar is five years from now.

Fry:In the event of a wormhole sending us back in time, do not kill your parents. If you are traveling with small children, help them not to kill you before not killing your own parents.

Fry:So what's the deal with airline food? They offer you two choices, but they're always out of one. By the way, we're out of both choices.

Passenger:Shut up and put on four episodes of The Office.

Child · Leela:Are we at the fair yet, Mommy? We're not at the anyplace! And we're out of fuel!

Leela:Please remain seated until the plane comes to a complete crash.

Hermes:Roller Derby is not a society.

Bender:We can't trust a woman's math. Count again.

Hermes:Well, you sure can run something, your mouth!

Zoidberg:Yeahs. You knows, guyses, galses, in that order. Ows!

Rock Alien:My species has only a single gender, known as 'neuchacho.'

Bender:Chocolate, Mac, men. The end.

Rock Alien:Which is larger, an Italian size four or an American Apparel medium? How many calories are in a small green tea yogurt? Name any 12 of the Desperate Housewives. How was your day?

Rock Alien:That was a test to see who could lie better. The men win that round. In your face, decumbent urinators.

Bender:In your face, decumbent urinators.

Rock Alien:You will all be boiled alive, like retired circus animals,

Rock Alien:And may the inferior gender burst into something. Flames, I guess.

Cowboy · Fry:Howdy there. You fellas need some directions? No, we're fine. Don't worry about it.

Amy · Leela:A clearance sale! What? Where?

Amy · LaBarbara · Leela:It wasn't Tommy Hilfijigger. It was Linens 'n Things! The hell it was. It was a Juicy Couture.

Fry:So if anyone's got any good fart jokes, now would be the time.

Amy:Wait, I forgot that Amana here is a refrigerator.

Bender:Was that a fart joke? Because I don't find those amusing. No one does.

Hermes · LaBarbara:How do you live with yourself? Damn it, woman, you're making me highly Selassie! Don't you talk to me that way, you big, hairy Belafonte.

LaBarbara:That's not back bacon! That's your back baking!

Fry:Never bet against me being stupid.

Various:My wingwang's gone! My girls! My antenna! My kajigger! My gonopores! Look it up.

Zoidberg:Work goes fasters withouts no secondary sex characteristicses at which to hoot.

Fry:A neutopia.

Leela:A neutopia.

Fry:It's about loving, and fighting, and that Rasta McNasty we were doing last night.

Bender:Now I got a whatchacallit instead of a kajigger, you stupid whatchacallit!

Hermes:I gotta get up five times a night to play Xbox.

LaBarbara:For example, did you know there are more than two feelings?

Amy:These bad boys are hard to aim.

Fry:OMG! Being chicks is so much fun! Now when I say stupid things, guys all laugh and buy me stuff.

Professor:Thank God most of our fans are huge perverts.

Hermes:I don't care what parts I have, as long as they interlock with yours.

Hermes:It combines the contentedness of being neutered, with the occasional sex of being not.

Borax Kid:You folks watch your genitals now.