Children Of A Lesser Bog

Professor:Due to budget cutbacks, we will no longer be offering free squid guts in the kitchen.

Bender:Oh, boo-hoo.

Fry:I like how it's not killing us so far.

Professor:You see, as I age, I've been shrinking and feeling colder. So now I need twice as many sweaters, in a smaller size.

Fry:So, that's where baby sweaters come from.

Narrator:The Scary Door opening sequence with eerie canal and two E's joke

Narrator:Dr. Daniel Zenus, an inventor with a terminal case of 'The Lazies.'

Award Presenter:Dr. Zenus, for a lifetime of scientific achievement, we present this award to your robot.

Child:Daddy, I love you. (said to robot)

Dr. Zenus:If only I'd programmed the robot to be more careful what I wished for. Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.

Bender:I'm sorry, do you see a robot in this room named 'Folder'?

Professor:Bender, would you mind bending my new sweaters?

Bender:There's only two of them. Wait. You want me to do two things? Man, I'd call my lawyer if dialing a phone wasn't such a hassle.

Bender:Razza frazza two things.

Small Bender · Bender:Go to hell, old man! I like your attitude. Let's party.

Small Bender:I'm sorry, do you see a robot in this room named 'Folder'?

Leela:Does that mean they only do 60% of the work you do, or that they actually do more work because they're only 60% as lazy?

Bender:All that and a small wiener? This guy's got it goin' on!

Bender:I hope that's vanishing cream, 'cause that needs to go away.

Fry:That's cold-blooded!

Bender:Yep, and there's still a little more tension. So, look out!

Bender:You so ugly, when trick-or-treaters come to your house, they give you candy.

Bender:You so ugly, when you go to the bank, they ask you to put on a ski mask!

Bender:You so ugly, you cracked The Daily Mirror. It's a newspaper!

Fry:Don't feel bad, sir. It's not your fault. You probably just inherited your appearance from your mother.

Bender:God, shield your eyes! It's like Edward James Olmos on IMAX!

Bender · Fry:Did you see his face when I said he so ugly? No, I blacked out, 'cause he so ugly!

Small Benders · Bender:One thing each? Sounds fair. Wait, make that four cigars. You want us to do four things?

Hermes:My Manwich!

Leela · Amy:A rat! Yes, she is a rat. No, look!

Tiny Bender:Which way to the tiny hookers?

Scruffy:It appears to be giving you the finger, sir. Enjoy.

Tiny Bender:Help me, help me! I'm too lazy to escape!

Professor:Don't wait for me. It's non-convergent! Oh, dip!

Bender:Wait, does that include me?

Fry:Too bad he didn't have his own Bible.

Leela:Wait, this isn't a real Bender. It's a talking doll from when Bender had that sitcom about the city robot who moves back to the farm.

Bender Doll:Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin.

Tiny Bender:Bite my tiny metal ass!

Professor:God! We've opened Pandora's fly. They'll reproduce without limit, consuming all the matter in the world! Like the Kardashians.

Bender:A problem that solves itself? That sounds like a job for me, Bender.

Linda:I can no longer face my children!

Professor:It's like fine cognac with a hint of aged scrotum.

Bender:No! What will I mix with my scotch?

Morbo:That's right, Linda. Water is now booze, and everyone's tiddy much protally fit-shaced.

Morbo:There were no survivors.

Zoidberg · Amy:You want to see a picture of my boy? Sure. That's your penis. That's my boy.

Fry:Minds? What?

Bender:You're so stinky, you need Right Guard and left guard.

Bender:Your face has been declared a weapon of mass disgusting.

Bender · Fry:You mean you'll do two things, and I only have to do one thing? Yeah. Just save the world. Sucker.

Bender:If we all pitch in, we each only have to do one quintillionth of a thing.

Bender:Let this beating be a lesson about never attacking those more handsome than oneself.

Bender · Space Monster:Your mama's so ugly! I told you not to talk about my mama!

Bender:Man, do I have to walk?

Bender:Yeah, if you're into gray dust.

Bender:Ladies and gentlemen, if, together we were able to defeat this giant space monster, think how also we might defeat the monsters of poverty and disease and unliteracy.

Small Bender:Come on, let's go someplace where we don't have to do one quintillionth of a thing all the time.

Bender:Maybe I did, Fry. Maybe I did. Or maybe I rescued one last mini-Bender to fold stupid, ugly sweaters while I laughed at him.