Character Analysis
Police Officer
11 jokes across 10 episodes of Seinfeld
2.1
11
6.6
6.7
Escalation
Police Officer delivers 11 scored jokes across 10 episodes of Seinfeld, averaging 6.6 on craft and 6.7 on impact for a career WAR of 2.1. Their comedy leans toward escalation. The highest-scoring line is below.
Funniest Police Officer Lines
Frank Costanza · Police Officer · George:Frank Costanza receives the United Volunteer Representative of the Month award — raised $22,000 for wheelchair access — then immediately gets arrested for parking in a handicapped spot.
Police officer:What are you, deaf? I said, sit down.
Police officer · Kramer:Police arrive: 'Okay, big daddy, take the hat off.' Then: 'I said turn, pimp!'
Jerry · Police Officer:Somebody took my European carryall. / Your what? / The black leather thing with a strap. / You mean a purse? / Yes, a purse. I carry a purse.
Police officer · Kramer:So chasing little kids, huh? You're in a lot of trouble, mister.
All Jokes — 16 total
Jerry · Police Officer:Do you ever find anything? — No.
Jerry · Police Officer:Police arrest Jerry for solicitation: 'You're under arrest for solicitation.' Jerry: 'Oh, wait a second. I...' / 'I have chicken soup.'
Police officer · Elaine:All right, you move your car. It's his space. You can't go in headfirst. / Wait a second. Why can't he go in headfirst? / He said the guy was just sitting over there.
Police Officer:The cop's testimony: Kramer 'was flailing his arms about as he told the story. And then he threw himself on the ground. And he grabbed me around the legs. And then he begged me to let him go.'
Jerry · Police Officer:Jerry asks a cop to escort him outside because a 'nut job' is waiting to beat him up, and the cop says 'all right, just let me get a muffin' and then stares at the menu
Jerry · Police Officer:The cop orders a full sandwich instead of the promised muffin. Jerry: 'What happened to the muffin?' Cop: 'I got a little hungry.' Jerry: 'All of a sudden you get hungry?'
Police Officer:The cop: 'You know, a muffin can be very filling.'
Jerry · Police Officer:The cop escalates from sandwich to ordering coffee. Jerry: 'Did you just order coffee?' Cop: 'Yeah.' Jerry: 'This is really too much.'
Frank Costanza · Police Officer · George:Frank Costanza receives the United Volunteer Representative of the Month award — raised $22,000 for wheelchair access — then immediately gets arrested for parking in a handicapped spot.
Police officer · Kramer:Police arrive: 'Okay, big daddy, take the hat off.' Then: 'I said turn, pimp!'
Police officer · Kramer:So chasing little kids, huh? You're in a lot of trouble, mister.
Police officer:What are you, deaf? I said, sit down.
Police Officer · Newman · Kurt:Well, well, well, look who's here. / Oh, man. / Mr. Costanza, you're under arrest for aiding and abetting a known fugitive. / I'm not George Costanza. / Save it. We know you're bald. We know it's you. Let's go.
Police Officer:We know you're bald. We know it's you. Let's go.
Jerry · Police Officer:Somebody took my European carryall. / Your what? / The black leather thing with a strap. / You mean a purse? / Yes, a purse. I carry a purse.
Police officer · Jerry:Cop to Jerry: 'You wanna step out of the car, sickie?'