The Wedding Of Latka And Simka

Latka greets multiple personalities by name: Hello, Arlene. Hello, Jose. Hello, Dwayne. Hello, Billy. Hello, Ruby.

A man is nothing without friends.

It's probably a witch doctor. This guy goes to a therapist like... Look what you gave me... Three twos.

Hello. I'm Dr. Joyce Brothers.

You helped me get through puberty.

Are you visiting the garage, or am I on The Merv Griffin show?

'Cause I have a story that Merv would've loved.

the only thing that separates us from the animals are mindless superstition and pointless rituals.

Usually it's an old hag or a leper or the village idiot. But you'll do in a pinch.

That's it? You're just going to grepse at me?

I'm just glad you're not a leper.

I am going to die a bachelor.

You... You have grabbed the nose of the Gewirtzal

Men are nothing but lazy lumps of drunken flesh.

They crowd you in bed, get you all worked up, and then before you can say, 'Is that all there is?' that's all there is.

your once firm breasts will fall to the floor.

Almost more than ever.

You cannot walk on my son's furniture.

Mothers-in-law are forbidden by tradition to bend.

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like hell.

A sense of humor can cushion you from the harsh realities of life. It can also make you seem like a real bummer.

Don't take me seriously. I'm flirting with you.

they are lamenting the bride's future as slave to her husband and the groom's burden of family responsibility which will eventually crush him.

Oh, I live in London where I work as a weatherman for the BBC.

What about 'What is the most unusual thing about our ceremony?' Well, that's a good one.

To truly understand the feelings and emotions of their mate, the bride and groom must marry in each other's clothes.

You don't know how long I have waited to see you in your father's wedding dress.

Never have I felt a man's warm, moist lips pressing against my waiting mouth.

the air humid... Simka! Simka!

She said $5,100.

The kid. Yourself!

That was the final test. One of them had to stand up and demand to be married.