Alex Gets Burned By An Old Flame

The new champ demanding the loser's belt as a prize

Fork over that championship belt. / I lost it. / Then give me your belt.

Elaine refusing to arm wrestle with emphatic 'No!' responses

What's left, I'll use to cover my steering wheel

Well, no, he's ducking you

Alex, this is a girl. I'm going to tear her arms off

Well, okay. Just don't break a nail

All right! I'm the undisputed champ of the garage!

Losing never is, kid

And the most unfair part is about to walk in

Muscle, too, he's got... A woman beat him

I'll die trying

Why settle for a cabbie when you can have the top dog?

Are you the top dog? Woof, woof

Uh, to get as far away from him as possible. I'll join you

I guess they can't picture me frolicking naked through the alfalfa sprouts

I guess we're not as far away as possible

Oh, no, but, uh, when we first got there, we did find something similar living in the barn

Jim's delayed entrance and recognition scene

I was beginning to worry

No, no, I was talking about the Volkswagen. We already had 12 people

Well, you always were lazy

Uh, how about a bar?

Beauty and the Bean Brain

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have her name tattooed on my face

I'm giving you the belt back

you are never going to live it down... I ain't losing this time, 'cause last time I was tired

Tony's series of excuses (tired, rough night, skipped lunch) leading to backing down

I had, like, a rough night last night... And I skipped lunch... Keep, keep the belt

Welcome to today's episode of As The Loser Turns

over a woman who wants him as much as she wants ringworm

Have you tried fabric softener?

For instance, her number is 'fblwrkz'

An intimate, romantic dinner for three

Will our lonely, frustrated hero make a fool of himself at the Chez Ptomaine restaurant?

It's the 'yahoos,' the 'yipees,' and the 'gotchas.'

I'll turn down my volume, too.

He wasn't a murderer. He was a flasher

Yeah, that's why I keep my door locked

It'll keep

I'll send her home

She'll believe it if she asks any of these folks here

I've got a stomach pump there

No. He did everything but make his head revolve and spit up pea soup

His porch light has been flickering for years

Yes, I'd like a small glass of poison, please

Remember me, the weirdo? The man with the flickering porch lights

Jim, I don't know if I love anybody at 3:00 in the morning

You're confusing flakiness with style

Yeah, a beanbag chair

Well, not everybody has a guest room, Alex

Ha! Oh, my... Ha! Boy, I'm a lunatic!

You told me that if you could be anybody in the world, you'd still be yourself, so you wouldn't have to buy new clothes

You think I'm a flake, but you love me.

You think I'm a flake, but you love me

She thinks I'm in the bathroom, brushing my teeth