Simpson Safari

Homer:D'oh! [Screams]

Homer:If your mother wasn't so fancy... we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

Bart:I need this candy for school. Candy class.

Homer:But get five bags in case we eat four on the way home.

Lisa:My teacher said I need cupcakes- cupcakes to learn.

Homer:You know, I always felt sorry for Marge, having to do the shopping... but this is kind of fun.

Homer:Yeah! I wish Maggie had to go to the emergency room more often.

Dr. Hibbert:Hmm. I never heard of a baby swallowing a magazine before- And I'm a doctor.

Homer:I don't know if it matters, but it was a Time magazine.

Homer · Dr. Hibbert:Does that matter? - Uh-oh. This could be dangerous. - What? What? Syrian hard-liners are gaining influence.

Bag Boy:I've already bagged it by color and in order of each item's discovery by man.

Customer:The customer's always right. That's what everybody likes about us. Now, mush!

Another Customer:You tell him, Jumbo. And you- Start over. I want everything in one bag. But I don't want the bag to be heavy.

Customer:What are you, the possible police? Just do it.

Another Customer:Hey, hey, watch what you're doin' there, sack monkey. You're bruising my Dura-Log.

Customer:Hurry up! I can't stand here jabbing you all day.

Bag Boy · Customer:Bag boys have feelings too, you know. - No, you don't.

Bag Boy Union Rep:On behalf of Sack Stuffers local 199... I'm callin' a strike.

Homer:Oh, the bag boys are on strike. Ooh! I'm shakin'.

Homer:If I can have this rubber stick.

News Reporter:Pledging to honor the bag boys' strike... are the Brotherhood of Fruit Packers and Unpackers... the Shelf-Dusters' Union... and the Unattractive Waitresses of America.

Unattractive Waitress:Kiss my grits!

Lenny · Carl:No bag boys are gonna stop Lenny... from hosting a casual get-together. - Casual? I can taste that get-together now.

Marge:SulfurJerky? Cream of Toast? Where do we get all this crap?

Marge:Most of it was sent by relatives who couldn't see very well.

Homer:Oh, that Amos Burke made his own rules.

Homer:Very old animal crackers! Mmm. Turbulent.

Homer:Find the golden giraffe, and we'll send you and your family to Africa.

Homer:Africa? They're bound to have food there.

Homer:I want to shoot a lion in the face, fight Muhammad Ali... and ride in a convertible with two happy zebras.

Company Representative:We don't even make animal crackers anymore. We make household poisons and Christmas lights.

Homer:Your box made promises of a 'vacational' nature... and I expect you to live up to them.

Lawyer:Sir, with all due respect, an old box of cookies is not a legal contract.

Homer · Company Representatives:Ow! My eye! - Is that our fault? - We're in big, big trouble.

Homer:On the plane I'm gonna need two seats- for the twins.

African Villagers:Evil is coming. - What shall we do, N'gungo? - You are N'gungo now. Aaah!

Flight Attendant:Attention, passengers. Please prepare for our landing in Tanzania. I'm sorry. It is now called 'New Zanzibar.' Excuse me. It is now called 'Pepsi Presents New Zanzibar.'

Marge · Lisa · Marge:Isn't that cute? A bush baby. - Where? - Aaah! Shoo! Shoo!

Homer · Kitenge:Who's Muntu? - He is our leader. He seized power in a bloodless coup- all smotherings.

Homer:Just like Jimmy Carter.

Lisa · Kitenge:When do we get to see the animals? In the morning, little one. Now, good night, and don't let the bedbugs paralyze.

Homer · Bart:All right! I got another one. - Hey, you didn't see a warthog. I'm looking at one right now.

Homer:Wow! It just rolled over to 10,000.

Lisa · Kitenge:Wait. Rhinos don't come from eggs. - What did you just see, Lisa? - I know, but- - What did you just see?

Lisa · Homer:Look, Mother, by that tree- Cheetah. - Mmm. He doesn't look so fast to me.

Homer:Glibby glup gloopy, Nibby nobby nooby, La lee lo, lo, lo

Homer:Now, honey, poachers are nature's way of keeping the balance. Whenever there are so many species that people get confused and angry... a poacher is born.

Homer:I've got more bones than that guy. If you're trying to impress me, you've failed.

Homer · Chief:By the way, what kind of blood is this? - Cow. - [All Gasp, Laugh]

Marge:Bart! I told you not to get your lip 'disked.'

Marge · Homer:This song has been going on for hours. Yeah. It's like the Allman Brothers.

Homer:A hungry, hungry hippo. Aaah!

Homer · Lisa:Quick! Into the river. Hippos hate water. - No, they don't. They-Aaah!

Homer:The left! Go to the left!

Homer:Being eaten by a crocodile... is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.

Homer:Now, according to animal crackers, there's no river here.

Homer:Oh. You think they settled that bag boy strike yet?

Marge · Lisa · Homer:Oh, isn't that sweet? He named it after his wife. - No, Dr. Bushwell is a woman. - Well, now I've heard everything.

Homer · Dr. Bushwell:Yeah. Thanks for the grub. - Grubs. - Whatever.

Homer · Dr. Bushwell:So I notice your home smells of feces. - Yes? - And not just monkey feces either.

Homer · Dr. Bushwell:You must be the most boring woman on earth. - Possibly, but- I mean, I knew scientists wasted their lives, but geez!

Homer:So like us.

Greenpeace Member:The chimps are running a diamond mine.

Greenpeace Member:She's one of the 10 richest chimp researchers in the world.

Homer:I haven't said anything for a while. Hmm.

Lisa:These are just pictures of monkeys from famous movies.

Dr. Bushwell:You don't understand the crushing loneliness and greed.

Dr. Bushwell:I'll give you diamonds. Everybody wants diamonds. Diamonds will make everything all better. Diamonds! Diamonds!

Homer · Kitenge:What happened to President Muntu? - I don't want to talk about it.

Homer:He got overthrown! Now he's just a stinkin' flight attendant.