She Of Little Faith

Captain:Right. Goggles on!

Crew member:That's just a dog in a spacesuit! From the looks of it, a male dog.

Bart:Loser.

Bart · Lisa:Hey, Lise, is Dad's credit card number 5784365343410709? You know it is.

Homer:Science? He didn't say 'science.' He said 'pie pants.' Mmm. Pie pants.

Homer:My eyebrows! My beautiful eyebrows!

Ned:The word 'unblowupable' is thrown around a lot these days, but I think I can say with confidence...

Ned:Greetings from Neddedy Space Center on Cape Flandaveral.

Homer:'Dweeb,' 'wonk,' 'spaz.' It's all good.

Homer:He's leaving her with five babies. She already ate three. That's sensible.

Homer:Son, we are about to break the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God!

Homer:Five, four, three, two, one, countdown!

Barney:Wow! That's it. I'm off the hooch. Hey, wine!

Marge · Homer:This is the worst thing you've ever done! You say that so much, it's lost all meaning.

God (voice):All right! We'll help ourselves, yet again.

Helen Lovejoy · Reverend Lovejoy:Let's just write to David Bowie again. No, he's done enough for this church.

Mr. Burns:That's just a skip-rope rhyme.

Mr. Burns:You'll get yours.

Reverend Lovejoy · Lindsay Naegle · Mr. Burns:Conflicted. Too bad! You've already signed the deal! Actually, he hasn't.

Lindsay Naegle:Well, we highly value your input, until you sign the deal.

Lindsay Naegle:The old church was skewing pious. We prefer a faith-based emporium, teeming with impulse-buy items.

Lisa · Lindsay Naegle:Why does Jesus have a lasso? Because he's all man.

Vendor · Lisa:Get your money changed, right here in the temple! That could not be more blasphemous.

Marge · Crowd:Lisa, don't sulk. You're on the JumboTron. Adorable.

Lindsay Naegle:Trust me. He'll say it, or I'll bust him down to Thursday night vespers.

Marge:Quiet, Lisa. Everyone in the store is looking at you.

Lisa · Marge:Like the Whore of Babylon? That is a false analogy. No, it's not. It's apt. Apt!

Lisa · Reverend Lovejoy:Like the Whore of Babylon? That is a false analogy. No, it's not. It's apt. Apt!

Homer:He put ice in the urinals.

Church usher · Lisa:Do you want your hand stamped so you can come back in? No! I'm leaving this church forever!

Homer · Marge:Oh, no! I don't know how to feel. You should be very upset. Got it. How is that? A little much.

Marge:Why do you have to be so different? Always making a big deal out of everything?

Marge:Honey, I'm worried about your soul. I want at least one person from this family to go to heaven.

Marge:Her? She's just kidding, Mr. Lord.

Bart · Lisa:How about one of those religions where you eat a human heart? No. How about Methodist? No!

Bart:How about Judaism? When you turn 13, cha-ching!

Carl:Yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, I'd completely go psycho on all you guys all the time.

Lisa · Lenny · Carl:What about the Dalai Lama? Who? You know, the 14th reincarnation of the Buddha Avalokiteshvara. Who's Buddha?

Carl:It's a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire, 'cause I've got the desire to kick your ass.

Carl:I dream about meatball sandwiches, all-you-can-eat for two bucks.

Carl · Richard Gere:Hey, Richard, in An Officer and a Gentleman, did you really do all those sit-ups? I wish. I did one, and they just showed it 1,000 times.

Carl · Richard Gere:Hey, Richard, in An Officer and a Gentleman, did you really do all those sit-ups? I wish. I did one, and they just showed it 1,000 times.

Ned:My Satan-sense is tingling.

Ned · Rod · Todd:My Satan-sense is tingling. Into the root cellar, boys! When can we come out? Maybe never. Yay! Yay!

Homer:Hold that thought. Bacon up that sausage, boy.

Bart:But, Dad, my heart hurts.

Marge · Lisa:You know, Lisa, around here, Buddhists don't get any desserts in their lunches. A Buddhist wouldn't want any.

Dolph · Jimbo · Kearney:His name's Gunnar, and he's dating my mom. Sometimes, he buys us beer. I thought Kearney was dating your mom. Hey, she came on to me!

Dolph · Jimbo · Kearney:Sometimes, he buys us beer. I thought Kearney was dating your mom. Hey, she came on to me!

Homer:You're gonna get a bath tonight!

Mr. Burns:When hell freezes over, suckers!

Reverend Lovejoy:And Santa doesn't leave presents under the Bodhi Tree.

Homer:Time to begin Operation X-Mas Remind of How Good Is.

Homer:I think I ate a dog food lid.

Lisa:I think I ate a dog food lid.

Marge:I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar.

Buddhist:I was only about to achieve enlightenment. But who'd want that?

Homer · Marge · Bart:I did it! I found our dog! Now our Christmas is complete! We were looking for Lisa! I thought we were caroling.

Homer · Marge:I did it! I found our dog! Now our Christmas is complete! We were looking for Lisa!

Reverend Lovejoy · Lisa:So, you're just going to pay lip service to our church? Uh-huh. That's all I ever asked.

Homer:Here, Clip-Clop! Here, pony-pony!

Lisa:I'm serious. Make with the pony. Here, Clip-Clop! Here, pony-pony!