The 13th Treehouse of Horror episode, consisting of three self-contained segments.
Send in the Clones – Homer buys a hammock that can produce clones of himself. He creates numerous clones to help him around the house, but they soon overrun Springfield.
The Fright to Creep and Scare Harms – Lisa petitions the town to get rid of their firearms after discovering the gravestone of a young man named William Bonney who died from gun violence. However, Lisa soon discovers that William Bonney is the real name of Western outlaw Billy the Kid, whose ghost, along with the ghosts of other infamous criminals, takes over the defenseless town.
The Island of Dr. Hibbert – Dr. Hibbert invites the citizens of Springfield to his island resort, where he turns them into animals.
WAR
63.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Treehouse Of Horror Xiii” ranks #91 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 83.2 — Elite. The episode packs 63 scored jokes at 4.0 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Homer Simpson landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Billy the Kid: Now, let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor...then rob the poor and shoot the money.
Homer Simpson: It's great. I haven't been this skinny since high school.
Homer Simpson: Another tragedy prevented by gun violence.
Billy the Kid: Looks like the only guns left are in my cold dead hands.
Dr. Hibbert: Think what Shakespeare might've accomplished...if he'd had the eyes of an eagle or could spray stink on his critics.
All Jokes — 63 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Ned Flanders: I'm all for Halloween fun...but a seance sounds a little PG-13.
Bart Simpson: Chill out, dudes. It's me, Bart Simpson.
Ned Flanders: Maude. You still look as pretty as the day I buried you.
Homer Simpson: But someone made me too many pancakes...and now I have to sleep them off.
Marge Simpson · Homer Simpson: Oh, those were for the Church breakfast. Were they now?
Hammock Salesman: Its webbing is a mesh of comfort and evil.
Homer Simpson: You had me at 'comfort.'
Homer Simpson: Mm-hm. Hmm, Mr. Hammock, say hello to Madam Ass. Unh!
Homer Simpson · Homer Clone: Hmm, no bellybutton. Shuttle's in the hangar.
Homer Simpson: Eh, he had a good run.
Homer Clone: Chores? Me need clone.
Homer Clone: Outfit good, flatters butt.
Homer Clone: Then after World War II, it got kind of quiet...till Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world.
Homer Clone: FDR beat him by a furlong. Or so the comic books would have you believe.
Homer Clone: Me not notice.
Homer Simpson: It would take three clones to beat the original Homer. Hmm. Huh, I mean four.
Homer Simpson · Ned Flanders: Yeah, but you have to leave a credit card. No problem. Discover okay?
Homer Simpson: Twenty-three.
Homer Simpson · Homer Clones: Now, before I abandon you in this cornfield...does anyone remember the way home? I do. Anybody else?
Gil: Ah, look at that corn. Old Gil's hard work is finally paying off. Well, at least I got my health.
Gil Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Kent Brockman: Like comedy clubs in the late '80s, these ravenous clones are everywhere.
Kent Brockman: They've destroyed every building in town...except Moe's Tavern, which is reporting record business.
Moe · Lenny: Now, uh, who's gonna be picking up the tab? Lenny. Anything for Homers.
Military Official: Currently the, uh, Vietcong...I mean, the, uh, Homers are occupying these areas.
Wiggum · Unknown Official: Thank God. And you said we shouldn't let little girls in the war room. Look, I was wrong, okay?
Marge Simpson · Homer Clone: No bellybutton? You're a clone. Then the real homer... First over cliff.
Marge Simpson: My Homie's dead? How will I go on? You like back rub? Oh, well.
Bart Simpson · Lisa Simpson: Lisa has a dead boyfriend. He's not my dead boyfriend. He is a dead boy who happens to be my friend.
Homer Simpson: Or a frustrated novelist.
Snake: I'm sorry. I can't live without passion.
Snake Jailbird: I'm sorry. I can't live without passion.
Lou: That's what I like about this job, you learn stuff.
Lou Deadpan/Understatement Observational Moe: Now all I got is my enormous genitals.
Moe Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Moe Szyslak: Now all I got is my enormous genitals.
Ralph Wiggum: The bumps tickle my bottom.
Billy the Kid: Looks like the only guns left are in my cold dead hands.
Billy the Kid: Looks like the only guns left are in my cold dead hands.
Jesse James · Kaiser Wilhelm: He ain't no cowboy. Sure I am. Yippy, wippy, wippy. Okay, he's in.
Billy the Kid: Now, let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor...then rob the poor and shoot the money.
Billy the Kid: That's piano! I said, 'pian-ee.'
Marge Simpson · Homer Simpson: These are horrible ghouls from the past. Hey, so are the Grammy judges. Ha-ha-ha, ugh!
Professor Frink: Oh, dear. Poor William Bonney might have become a doctor or a senator.
Homer Simpson: Future Daddy needs to double kill these corpses...so they won't come back as zombies and... Get him!
Homer Simpson: Another tragedy prevented by gun violence.
Unknown Character: What is this, open mike night?
Homer Simpson: What is this, open mike night?
Homer Simpson: Hey, what could be more fun than an island shaped like a big smiley face?
Dr. Hibbert: Yes, completely mad. About providing topnotch vacation values. Ha-ha-ha.
Homer Simpson: Ha, ha. I've been around Scotsmen.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, one activity you might enjoy is not asking questions.
Dr. Hibbert: Think what Shakespeare might've accomplished...if he'd had the eyes of an eagle or could spray stink on his critics.
Dr. Hibbert: Now, who'd like some turkey? It's a lovely nerd...I mean 'bird.'
Marge Simpson: 'House of pain.' This must be where you pay the bill.
Marge Simpson: Why am I always so funny when no one's around?
Homer Simpson: And I've never seen you use your tail like that.
Homer Simpson: Which I have to admit, I sort of suspected during the sex.
Ned Flanders: Hate to be a needy Neddy, but could you do me a favor? Milk me.
Ned Flanders: Ooh, that's nice. You're actually quite gentle when you wanna be.
Guinea Pig Hybrid: We prefer 'Italian-American pigs.'
Homer Simpson · Bart Simpson: 'Eat my shorts'? Why, you little...
Homer Simpson: It's great. I haven't been this skinny since high school.
Homer Simpson: Makes you think.
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