Selma decides to adopt a child from China, but when the rules say she must be married, Homer must pose as her husband for the fearsome adoption agent Madame Wu.
WAR
64
Wins Above Replacement
“Goo Goo Gai Pan” ranks #122 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.2 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: He's like a little angel that killed 50 million people.
Homer Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Son, menopause is when the stork that brings babies gets shot by drunken hunters.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Madame Wu: Well, Tibet was considered 'pretty independent.' How'd that work out?
Cletus: What she said was, she's tired of having rabies.
Cletus Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Madame Wu: The Heimlich maneuver was invented the very next day.
All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ DMV Employee: You drove in with three people on your grill.
Patty/Selma: At least I'm out doing things.
Patty/Selma: This car is cooler than Guy Lombardo.
DMV Employee: Good heavens, she's some sort of female madman!
Patty/Selma: Stop that, you want-wit! I might get stung by a bumbled-bee.
Patty/Selma · DMV Employee: Car! - Car what? Car is the subject, but I don't know the verb.
Patty/Selma: Those are my lungs!
Homer: Son, menopause is when the stork that brings babies gets shot by drunken hunters.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Robert Wagner (video): What do you know. She's out of eggs, and if you're watching this, so are you.
Robert Wagner (video): So let's all give menopause a round of men-applause!
Robert Wagner (video): 'Men-applause'? I'm not saying that.
Selma: I didn't want to get pregnant and lose my looks.
Selma Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Selma: All he can do is eat me when I'm dead.
Selma Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Selma · Homer: I'm not dead, idiot. I know. That was for the other patients.
Patty: This is one problem damaged food can't solve.
Patty Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Patty: Wow, you really are down.
Patty Deadpan/Understatement Callback Adoption Worker: That foot's not dead. It's just asleep.
Prospective Father: From now on, we're a Skoal family.
Cletus: What she said was, she's tired of having rabies.
Cletus Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cletus: Give me back my belly fruit!
Cletus Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cletus: Give me back my belly fruit!
Cletus Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Great, another job lost to a foreigner.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Chinese Official: No 'hen without cock.'
Chinese Official: I apologize if that is a double-entendre in your language. It is not in ours.
Homer: Oh, I just felt a chill go through my very soul.
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Marge: Yeah, those Sloppy Joes will do that.
Marge Misdirection Deadpan/Understatement Homer: And how about me getting off work by saying I'm teaching math skills to inner city youths?
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Marge: Yes, there are many kinds of heroes.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Dream Dragon: Oh, you are a very greedy man. The other dragons shall hear of this.
Homer: Hey, dragon! You fly like a girl!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: You name it, oh, wise mountain ape.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dream Dragon: The man who broke a dragon's heart...
Homer: But, Marge, I don't want her to be happy!
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: Okay, don't do it for her. Deal! - Do it for me.
Homer: 'Cause your sweet love is the one thing that saved my life from being an unmitigated disaster.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Ha-ha! Now we're even!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Pilot: It makes the Lincoln Memorial look like crap.
Homer: And this is Marge, our surprisingly hot nanny.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Homer · Marge: Don't mention it, Miss... October.
Homer: But don't look at her passport-- it's different.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Callback Homer: You can wave your arms at them and make funny faces, and they just have to stand there and take it.
Marge: Homer, no, stop; you're thinking of Buckingham Palace!
Marge Misdirection ★ Rewatch Homer: He's like a little angel that killed 50 million people.
Homer Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: With these pogo sticks, we'll finally make it over.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Chinese Acrobat: Can't make it Monday. My kid has a thing.
Homer: I'm a Chinese acrobat!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Madame Wu: Well, Tibet was considered 'pretty independent.' How'd that work out?
Madam Wu: Such loving discipline. Maybe someday, someone will love you too, childless servant.
Madam Wu Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Chinese Citizen: Why doesn't Pearl Jam ever come here?!
Homer: Then why am I seeing rudimentary free markets?
Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Chinese Doctor: No, a porcupine snuck in while you were asleep. Go on, shoo! Come back in year of porcupine. Which is never!
Selma: Without him, I wouldn't have you.
Selma Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Selma: How'd you like a little time with 'Miss October'?
Selma Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Madame Wu: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Wu!
Homer: Wow, the fortune cookies here really are more accurate.
Homer Observational Irony/Sarcasm Lisa: Just think about the day you found that Junior Mint in your belly button.
Lisa Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Chinese Guard: Feng shui? I thought that was just a trick to sell crappy end tables to the West.
Chinese Official: Feng shui? I thought that was just a trick to sell crappy end tables to the West.
Chinese Guard: Let's cut him in chunks and worship the chunks.
Homer: Plus, we get free apple, orange and grapefruit juice.
Wang Pu: This is Wang Pu's time to shine.
Wang Pu Character Comedy Observational Madame Wu: The Heimlich maneuver was invented the very next day.
Homer: As a spoiled American teenager.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Chinese Bart: Feast on my shorts, stupid father man.
Chinese Dragon Singers: American jerks are going home
Chinese Dragon Singers: When we wake, the world will end.
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