On A Clear Day I Cant See My Sister

Otto:Happy 3:00 in the morning, everyone. In a mere five hours, we'll be gazing at Springfield's most exciting glacier, Springfield Glacier.

Bart:Hey, check out my T-shirt. It's wicked relevant. It's part of my 'Things Suck' line of clothing.

Otto · Lisa:So, Lise, ready for your trip? - Sure am. See ya next fall.

Lisa · Otto:You make those same stupid jokes every field trip. You work in the business as long as I have, you're bound to repeat yourself. See ya next fall.

Seymour · Edna:So, Edna, I wrote up some possible discussion topics for this trip. Oh, here's one. I'm still in love with you. Discuss?

Edna:Our romance is in the history books and there's nothing worth highlighting.

Seymour:The Skin-man doesn't give up that easily.

Seymour · Edna:I feel like I'm in Fitzcarraldo. That movie was flawed.

Lisa · Park Ranger:What happened to the glacier? It's nearly melted. This must be due to global warming. Young lady, the federal government's position on global warming is that it does not exist. The glacier's doing just fine.

Park Ranger:I have a little girl just like you at home. That's where she stays-- at home.

Marge:Oh, I just love it here. So many things, and so many things of each thing.

Marge · Grandpa:Grandpa, you're a greet grater. I mean a great greeter. Now look who's senile.

Grandpa:No... ...mes.

Homer · Grandpa:Oh, Dad. How I'll miss your cap, your walking stick, your plaster base. I'm down here, you idiot.

Grandpa:No. They're helpless without a greeting. Look at 'em.

Grandpa:Make me proud. Or at least less ashamed.

Student:I'm gonna get a glacier postcard and send it to my nana. She'll be like, 'No way.' Score.

Seymour:I'm going to exchange this beach towel I bought at Sequoia National Park. I learned too late that it implied tumescence.

Seymour:If these wise warriors could speak, what would they tell us? They left a message right here. Actually carved into the rock.

Museum Guide:Nice work, Simpson. Feel free to make a rubbing.

Homer:Welcome to Sprawl-Mart. Pimple cream in aisle five. Buenos nachos. Ask about our 'señor' discount. Hey, Rabbi. Jesus loves ya. Just kidding.

Manager · Homer:Son, you are on fire. A million times better than that worthless old coot you replaced. That coot happens to be my father. Please continue.

Homer:That coot happens to be my father. Please continue.

Manager · Homer:How would you like to be a full-time Sprawl-Mart greeter? Is there a chance for advancement? - No. Whoo-hoo. No pressure.

Seymour:Dying alone, huh? Terrible fate to befall any woman-- Ice Age or modern day.

Edna · Park Ranger:So, is there a Mrs. Park Ranger Johnson? No, ma'am. I'm married to the glacier. But, uh, it's an open marriage. Then bring it, fool.

Seymour:Oh, for goodness sake. You've moved on, have you? Well, so have I.

Edna:Just play along.

Bart:The only gas is coming from Lisa's butt.

Chief Wiggum · Lou:Hey, whoever's doing that, get off the frequency. We're combing the woods. There's a killer loose out here. Let him do it, Chief. It lightens the mood.

Bart · Lisa:Help. I'm sinking in the lake. You mean, you're walking on the glacier. Whatever.

Bart:Check it out. That frog has a nerd on its butt.

Bart:What are you gonna do, tell Mom and Dad? They're powerless figureheads.

Bart:Hey, there's a dog in the next car lookin' at me. Hey, dog.

Bart · Chief Wiggum:Good morning, world. Eat my shorts. There'll be no shorts eaten today, young man.

Bart:Restraining order? Bull spit. No piece of paper keeps me from whaling on my sister.

Lisa · Homer:The clerk also gave me this bench warrant for Dad's arrest. Aw, damn it.

Chief Wiggum:Hey, I don't make the laws, I just... something with them.

Gary Busey:Hi, I'm Gary Busey.

Homer:Oh, man, I've been there.

Gary Busey:Never say die. Quitters never prosper. And No means yes.

Gary Busey:I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Joe is me. And Mary is a composite of 12 different women and a small independent film company, all of whom couldn't deal with me, because I'm too real.

Homer:Don't worry, son. No one's going to make you count to 20.

Homer:It'll keep your pole looking great, poke after poke after poke. Poke.

Marge · Homer:Homer, why did you put the screwdriver at the end? Show you what it's like in the real world.

Seymour:A.M. kindergarten made the Bart doll. P.M. kindergarten made the Lisa.

Groundskeeper Willie:The smell is manure, and the dripping's manure.

Bart · Willie:But we're already on chapter seven. Then you'll be teaching Willie.

Dr. Hibbert:The only cure is this anti-poking potion. Oops, missed the vein. Dang, missed it again.

Dr. Hibbert:Sorry, I'm distracted. My housekeeper is suing me for sexual harassment. She hung the mistletoe. What was I supposed to do?

Lisa · Homer:'Don't have a cow, man.' Yeah, he's all... 'Cowabunga, dude.' I mean, what's that mean? Nothing, I bet.

Manager · Apu:If you don't, we'll ship you right back to Mexico. But I'm a U.S. citizen. How sure of that are you?

Bart:My sister has no sense of humor. I'm sure you understand. It's why you became a judge instead of finding a husband.

Bart:My sister has no sense of humor. I'm sure you understand. It's why you became a judge instead of finding a husband.

Judge · Bart:I have a husband. What is he, blind and deaf?

French person:That's 61 meters. Sacré bleu.

Bart:Why should I go inside? The world is my toilet now.

Homer:I slept on the grill.

Homer:I've never worked all night, never. And I worked at an all-night diner for three years. I slept on the grill.

Homer:That's it, mister. I am disgruntled. And up until now, I was relatively gruntled.

Homer:And with no brain damage-amage-amage-amage-amage-amage.

Apu · Homer:Homer, we took our chips out years ago. Really? Then why do you still work here? We've learned to accept the things we cannot change... and steal everything that's not nailed down.

Sprawl-Mart employees:We've learned to accept the things we cannot change... and steal everything that's not nailed down.

Lisa:Well, I mean, it's a little American-primitive, but who am I to dismiss outsider art?

Bart · Lisa:Are you putting feces on the tip? No, I'm giving it up.

Jimbo:Oh, man. This is every effigist's worst nightmare.

Bart:Well, you see, the fire represents... your musical ability?

Lisa:Oh, Bart, I missed your lies.