Theres Something About Marrying

Bart:Some sucker will think he's getting beer, but he's really gonna get a face full of melon! Seedless melon!

Lisa:Don't ruin the moment.

Homer · Barney:Easy, Barney. Easy. Remember the 12 steps. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

Howell Huser:Nice try, boys. Now, as the roadrunner said to the coyote, 'meep meep'!

Bart · Lisa:Sweet. Fresh meat. / Meat's not sweet. It's savory.

Howell Huser:Why my favorite color is local.

Homer:Radioactivity? That means it's a place where we do radio... activities.

Howell Huser:I'm happy to be exposed to that kind of radioactivity.

Howell Huser:Well, Howdy, little feller.

Howell Huser:I can't wait till this is over!

Howell Huser:Finger pain? I thought I had gum comin'! That tears it! I've been smilin' for 47 years, and you two broke my streak!

Moe:My self-esteem sure didn't need that!

Kitchen Wizard:Yes, it's about Winston Churchill's life between the wars.

Howell Huser:a six out of ten.

Comic Book Guy:They never buy my maps to stars' homes, anyway.

Various townspeople:Stronger beer! Gladiator fights! Poetry slam! Giant rats!

Moe · Unknown:What's in a martini? / Gin and vermouth. / And that makes a what? / A martini. / Never heard of it, but I'm still in favor of that same-sex marriage deal.

Mayor Quimby:We'll legalize gay money-- I mean, uh, gay marriage.

Moe · Unknown:A lean cuisini? / Wrong.

Commercial singers:Gay-o, it's okay-o. Tie the knot and spend all your dough gay-o

Commercial narrator:Do not take the Jefferson avenue exit. For god's sake, do not take that exit.

Reverend Lovejoy:I cannot marry two people of the same sex anymore than I can put a hamburger on a hot dog bun.

Reverend Lovejoy:Now, go back to working behind the scenes in every facet of entertainment!

Marge:whether they both have the same hoo-hoo or ha-ha.

Homer:Hey, I got to get in on this! These people have rights! The right to buy me a 62-inch tv!

Homer · Computer:Name.' 'Ho-mer Simp-son.' 'You are now an ordained minister.'

Homer:Ooh, a talking moose wants my credit card number. That's only fair.

Homer:Photo mouse pads for sale out back.

Homer · Marge:Hmm, where's Lenny and Carl? / Don't you push them! They've got to work that out for themselves.

Homer:Opposite? Yechh!

Homer · Marge:What's that thing called when a guy is gay for a girl? / Straight. / Ooh, look at me! I'm as straight as a one dollar bill.

Homer · Cletus:Do you, Cletus, take Brandine to be... wait a minute-- are you two brother and sister? / We's all kinda things!

Homer · Homer:Oh, Kent, not anything. It has to exist. / Or does it?

Homer · Kent Brockman:if you love the bible so much, why don't you marry it? In fact, I now pronounce you and the bible man and wife. And you're the wife!

Homer:The blue being my pants.

Krusty:I used non-diseased meat from diseased animals.

Selma:Let me get my belt sander. Maybe I can grind the ugly off your face.

Patty · Selma:Her name's Veronica. / But Veronica's a girl's name. / Did you know that?

Patty:Hey, Marge, here's another bomb: I like beer.

Homer:Marge, I'd be a lot more worried about me leaving you for a sausage Patty than your sister Patty.

Patty:You could see it from space, Marge.

Patty · Selma:Smells like cheeseburgers. / Give it back!

Bart:Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying aunt Patty, but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?

FOX operator:You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press one. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press two.

FOX operator:Your half-baked ideas are all we've got.

Patty:Correction. The first blimp who got her pregnant.

Male golfer:I thought we played this stupid game to get away from the women. With the yak, yak, yak and the spend, spend, spend. Am I right?

Male golfer:With the yak, yak, yak and the spend, spend, spend. Am I right?

Patty:I'll bet that's how angels cough.

Patty:You act all liberal, but you can't handle it when your sister finds love in her own locker room.

Disco Stu:Disco Stu just got an annulment from John Paul Two. Boogie down!

Homer · Selma:She's a man. / Looks like Patty's gonna get something she didn't register for.

Patty:At last I have found the yin to my yin.

Patty:You think everyone in the world should have a big dumb man like you!

Patty:I can see why you lied to other golfers, caddies, fans and officials, but how could you lie to me and the sponsors?

Patty:Hell no, I like girls!

Marge:Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein'.

Selma · Patty:There never was a jigsaw puzzle. I was trying to make you jealous. / Hey, wanna go to the airport and leave a bag unattended?

Patty · Selma:Hey, wanna go to the airport and leave a bag unattended? It is a good way to meet security personnel.