Homer, Apu, Moe and Skinner volunteer as firemen after Homer's sleepwalking accident injures the town's firefighters. They do some light looting at the fires to make up for not being compensated, but Marge and Lisa shame them into mending their ways.
WAR
30.1
Wins Above Replacement
“Crook And Ladder” ranks #392 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 75.5 — Great. The episode packs 47 scored jokes at 3.2 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Homer: Oh! I have three kids and no money! Why can't I have no kids and three money?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe: But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!
Moe Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: If I had set up those dominoes, I'd be wearing my special domino-setting-up kneepads.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: We're not thieves; we're scavengers, like the beautiful vulture or the heroic tapeworm, or America's sweetheart, the maggot.
Homer Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Moe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. It ain't stealing if you take it fast.
Moe Absurdist Character Comedy All Jokes — 47 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Marge: Are Bees Building Hives in your Diaper Genie? The Deadly Truth about Oxygen.
Marge Absurdist Setup/Punchline Marge: Growing up means giving up everything that makes you happy. It's true. I've given up everything but raisins.
Marge Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: And the doctor says they're killing me. Sweet, plump coffin nails is what they are.
Marge Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun Homer · Lisa: It's a Larry Flynt publication! Lisa, stop reading mastheads. I can't. I won't!
Homer: How about Syntho-Nip? Kiddy Cork? Thumbstitute? AccuTeat? Bink 182? Want to suck on the receipt?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Escalation Maggie: Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt? Larry Flynt, Larry Flynt, Larry Flynt?!
Maggie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dr. Hibbert: Good work, boy. Just for that, we're going to treat your heart murmur, not just 'see how it goes'.
Homer: Oh, stupid baby. Growing her brain on my dime.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Commercial narrator: Nappien activates your brain's napping centers, and attacks your body's awake-agens. And unlike Sleepia, it won't cause foot fattening or elbow stink.
Homer: Thank you, methasorbizone tartrate, also known as Nappien.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Marge: And someone used our videotapes as dominoes.
Marge Visual Gag Escalation Homer: If I had set up those dominoes, I'd be wearing my special domino-setting-up kneepads.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Mood swings?! Mood swings. Mood swings! Mood swings? Mood swings! Mood swings!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Escalation Security guard: So you're the one behind all these hijinks at the Rock 'N' Roll Wax Museum.
Homer: Well, son, your Uncle Homer is like 80% of America wacked out on prescription drugs.
Homer Observational Dark/Subversive Homer: Oh! I have three kids and no money! Why can't I have no kids and three money?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Homer: Want to come out and play? Zombie kill. No, play! Zombie file grievance.
Bart Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement Bart Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Homer: What are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Burning man: Oh, not as bad as knowing that somewhere, gays are marrying each other. That's the real emergency, Kent.
Skinner: Just call me Fireman Skinner.
Skinner Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Moe: Lousy civilians. I wish I could burn 'em all.
Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer · Skinner: Is that one? That's just someone barbecuing. Oh! Is that one? That's a guy with red hair.
Homer · Other fireman: Is that one? That's just someone barbecuing. Oh! Is that one? That's a guy with red hair.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Luigi: Luigi give you all the food you want! On the house!
Luigi Character Comedy Callback Luigi: You save-a Luigi's place! Mwah! Mwah! Luigi give you all the food you want! On the house!
Luigi Character Comedy Observational Homer · Apu: Hey, this is sweet, huh? Almost makes up for not gettin' paid. We don't get what?
Action movie star: Frankenberry the Movie 2: The Frankenberry Wears Prada
Moe: People owe us because we're heroes. It's even on my business card. I printed them on the back of my old business cards. See? It's different.
Moe Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns · Skinner: So, I see by your tie you're a Yale man, too. Let's croon, shall we? Boola, boola, boola, boola...
Mr. Burns: But since I thought you were dead, you won't get paid this week. Make a note of it.
Mr. Burns: Go back to your tenements, where the O'Briens live next to the Goldbergs, who rub elbows with Antonellis, and the only thing you have in common is the squalor of your chamber pot!
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Moe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. It ain't stealing if you take it fast.
Moe Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: And some stuff I wanted.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Moe: It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!
Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Moe: It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!
Moe Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, thank God there's a fire. Marge's birthday's coming up.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, bogus gizmo, grant me eternal life.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Look at me, guys! I'm stealing five Segways at once! And speaking of segues, I'm off to my next morally questionable activity!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer: We're not thieves; we're scavengers, like the beautiful vulture or the heroic tapeworm, or America's sweetheart, the maggot.
Homer Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Moe: Oh! This thing's hotter than Ellen Barkin!
Moe Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Moe: But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!
Moe Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Apu: Apu is dead. I was reincarnated as this cat.
Apu Absurdist Character Comedy Apu: Oh, you have just been Apu'd!
Apu Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Bum: Look at me. I'm the bum of the future!
Top Episodes — The Simpsons
