The Homer Of Seville

Minister:This concludes our service. Go now in the peace of the Lord. So long, suckers!

Parishioner:Move it, move it, move it! Do you want to be second out of the parking lot? Do you?

Parishioner:Leave her! We left her last week, and she didn't make it home for dinner!

Homer:You'll never catch me, Lord!

Lisa · Homer:Dad, all you circled were the 'I's and 'A's. Those are words.

Homer:Griddler on the Roof? Thank God It's Fried Eggs? Luftwaffle's? Bodacious Frittatas? Buffet the Hunger Slayer?

Bart · Homer:I want to say one. Be my guest. Denny's.

Marge:I just want a simple salad with pine nuts, haricots verts, seasonal heirloom tomatoes... Forget it!

Homer · Marge:Your mom is way too classy a lady to crash a private... I'm not cooking! And you can cut your own meat!

Homer:Everyone just act cool. If anyone asks, tell them we're plumbers, and then start plumbing until they go away.

Unknown guest:Dude! You don't think, you know me, but you do!

Homer:Mmm! Au jus! Not quite gravy, not quite blood.

Homer:Oh, I can't wait to taste that hot fudge, and caramel and crushed nuts all slathered over a delicious... elderly corpse?!

Homer · Family:We crashed a funeral! Oh, my God! Quick, everyone, put on their long faces. Longer!

Bart:Mahogany. Great movie, great casket.

Bart · Mourner:Pop-pop said that after he died, you should give me ten bucks a week. Starting now. Okay.

Funeral organizer:Will the tragedies that stalk this family never cease?

Homer:I thought she said polar bear.

Homer:Oh, my back! It hurts, and not in a good way.

Homer · Doctor:Well, you're always telling me I should eat more dirt. Not dirt. Vegetables! Which grow in what?

Doctor · Homer:That doesn't sound like Homer's usual annoyed grunt. D'oh! D'oh. Fascinating.

Doctor · Lisa:When Homer's on his back, his stomach lodges perfectly under his diaphragm, giving him a powerful singing voice. Is that a real thing? It is!

Mr. Burns:Let's see, I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, that motorcycle man's moustache.

Smithers:Oh, the money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.

Mr. Burns:Well, young people are my future.

Homer:Oh, oh, I just have one question: what is this movie about?

Opera director · Homer:For the last time, it's not a movie! Excuse me, 'film.'

Marge · Lisa:Homer's fantastic! Yeah. But these seats are terrible.

Homer · Lisa:This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father-daughter dance. The dance isn't till next week. Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.

Homer · Placido Domingo:Wow, praise from Placido Domingo. Just call me P-Dingo. Eh, I'll think about it.

Homer:You know, of the three tenors, you're my second favorite! No wait, I forgot about that other guy. Sorry, you're third.

Homer:But I need my childhood friends to help me keep it real. Would you have me keep it fake?

Barney · Homer:We'll move to another table. Yoko.

Homer:To the hottest girls in the room.

Homer · Fan:I said you look hot! Ay Chihuahua! Ay chi-what? Hua-hua!

Homer:May I say I'm enjoying the calm waters of your deep, blue eyes?

Homer:That's how guys talk.

Marge:You've actually outgrown your cape!

Barney:I really want to hook up with Homer. Now we both know that ain't gonna happen, but, uh, I'm right here.

Homer:A lady motorcycle driver?! What is this, The Twilight Zone?

Fan with opera glasses:Switching to thermal imaging. Target acquired.

Homer:Remember the part where I forgot the words and I just sang 'Uh-oh Spaghetti-os'? I'm hoping they send me a case.

Homer:Um... everyone's wearing clothes in here.

Homer:This opera's over when the fat man sings.

Homer:Before you go, could you hire your own replacement? But make sure she's not crazy like you.

Homer:Stu, stu, stu, stu-pid Flanders.

Homer · Flanders:Get lost you waste of a moustache. Okily-dokily.

Audience member:It ain't candy, it's a lamb chop wrapped in foil.

Dr. Hibbert:Luckily, the sniper bullets stopped her heart from pumping the poison through her body long enough for the chandelier to squish it all out of her.

Julia · Marge:And I scheduled the cable guy to come on Wednesday between 10:00 and 2:00. Oh, but Wednesday's not good for me. I know, Marge. I know.

Chief Wiggum:Let's go, Hagliacci, or should I say, Madame Butterface?

Chief Wiggum:What? What? I had two.

Homer:I'm retiring from the opera. It's just too popular.

Homer · Lisa:Singing opera made me good at painting. Is that a real thing? No.