Dangerous Curves

Bill · Marty:Where were you when you first heard this? I'll tell you where I was. I was out eating... I think I had kung pao... and I ended up on the... I can't listen to this anymore.

Homer:Nobody shuts out my blather!

Marge:They don't look like the stabby kind.

Marge:I said they were thrill-crazed drug-seekers. Don't put words in my mouth.

Homer · Marge:Were we ever that stupid? Of course we were.

Young Homer:It's called 'biking out.' It's a combination of biking and making out.

Ned:Hop on in before you become a couple runneth over.

Ned:And in that mud, I'm planting the seed of friendship.

Ned:As the elephant said to the peanut vendor, toss those in my trunk.

Young Homer:Oh, he rhymes! Oh, happy day.

Young Homer:I wish. We were bicycling to a lake.

Ned:Wordplay. Never cared for it.

Ned:But it's never too soon for you two to join the 'I do' crew.

Ned:Since 2:00 this afternoon. Welcome to our honeymoon.

Young Marge:Homer Simpson, I would be delighted not to marry you.

Young Homer:Then, I now pronounce us just dating.

Angry parent:How dare you expose my children to your tender feelings.

Video game character:I'm cuckoo for killing stuff!

Homer:Video games: the reason this generation of Americans is the best ever.

Marge:Not from the diving board.

Patty or Selma:Your neck looks like a sideways ass.

Marge:That's the fuel gauge.

Homer:I know, I was hoping the number might be zero.

Party host:it's just past the sushi bar, behind the limbo pit, right in front of the blackjack table

Party host:We have cubes of yellow, cubes of orange, and cubes of orange and yellow.

Homer:Doesn't seem like your kind of thing, Marge.

Alberto:No, I'm trying to get me drunk.

Homer:No, I'm talking to you at this great party.

Homer:Limbo? You mean the dance or that place where unbaptized babies go? Either way, I'm in.

Homer:That's how low you can go!

Marge:These fish died for nothing!

Marge:She's gonna take him for a lot of money.

Bart:A log cabin? What am I, Davy Crockett? Also, who's Davy Crockett?

Lisa:They're worse than walking.

Homer:I'll steal it back when you're sleeping.

Ned Flanders:when the sun goes down, it means God's gone to China to watch over those good folks

Ned · Young Homer:That's just your trouser devil talking. He's not talking. He's yelling.

Young Ned:Your dead grandmother's pajamas. You know what that does to me.

Patty or Selma:He's that rare combination of up to something and good for nothing.

Alberto:in a ruched burgundy bias-cut evening gown with a wolverine hem and a contrasting cerise tulle décolletage

Marge:That explains a lot.

Marge:You didn't say a word for 45 minutes.

Sylvia · Homer:Do you have a pineapple pizza? Pineapple and pepperoni.

Alberto:I see the word vacancy is lit, and the word no is not. Let us pray the no is not broken, huh?

Alberto:First we make love, then we decide if it was a good idea. That's the European way.

Sylvia:Homer, I can be whoever you want me to be.

Alberto:Why do married women always have husbands?

Marge:I feel the same way about that lamp.

Homer:but you're going in the box.

Alberto:No, but don't stop twisting.

Kids:We won! He's asleep! And we'll stay up forever!

Homer:It was a tale of betrayal, redemption, and a lovely continental breakfast.

Homer:You're just as bad as me! And you used to be better, so that makes you worse!

Lisa:Anti-nuclear activist Dr. Helen Caldicott? Director Julie Taymor?

Bart:So I don't have to come home to you!

Bart:We grew up.

Young Homer:Yeah. I missed her, like, five times.

Ned:What a charming single entendre.

Ned:Red Dog, this is Mustache One. We have possible male/female interaction.

Ned · Maude:Lock onto his wiener. We have wiener-lock.

Young Homer:like when I got that smart kid's report card by mistake, and for a minute, I thought I had all As, and that my name was Howard Simberg.

Ned:Oh, I hate other people's love.

Comic Book Guy:Oh, I hate other people's love.

Homer:I'm getting out of this marriage while I'm still young and handsome.

Homer:I couldn't even keep a promise I made to a tree.

Homer:Help! Fat man hanging from a tree!

Marge:That's for fires.

Marge:I know parts of our marriage are based on lies, but so are a lot of good things: religion, American history.

Homer:If my theory of global cooling is correct.

Lisa:Because he knows a shortcut that's not on the map.