Marge sends Lisa to a performing arts camp, where counselors and fellow campers inspire her to embrace her creative side; upon returning to Springfield, Lisa grows restless with her boring suburban lifestyle.
WAR
30.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Elementary School Musical” ranks #481 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 72.8 — Solid. The episode packs 93 scored jokes at 4.5 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.0 on impact, with Kurt landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Dutch Official: Three days later, South Africa freed Nelson Mandela from prison. Krusty the Klown, your selfishness has saved the world.
Music Teacher: My country 'tis of thee / Life disappointed me / I'm 53.
TV Announcer: Krusty the Clown wins Nobel Peace Prize
Dutch Official: You dropped a monkey from the Eiffel Tower... In Greece, you committed something called 'aggravated hey-hey'... And here in Holland, you stole the entire act of our beloved clown 'Van Krusten.'
Krusty: My contract specifically stated half regular, half ruffled! Forget it! The gig's off! I ain't gonna play Sun City. Vuvuzela me out of here.
Krusty Character Comedy Observational All Jokes — 93 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer Character Comedy Callback Marge: It's 4:00 a.m. You kids should have been in bed a half-hour ago.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy Lisa · Bart: We're watching the Nobel Prize announcements live from Stockholm. Ooh, the Nobies!
Lisa: Huzzah! I had him in the pool.
Lisa Character Comedy Absurdist Lisa: I would kill for that.
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch TV Announcer: Krusty the Clown wins Nobel Peace Prize
Kent Brockman: joining the ranks of Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, and Desmond Tutu, here's the man who always parks in my spot
Krusty: this thing is worth nearly two million dollars. How do you like me now, Teen Choice Awards?
Krusty Character Comedy Observational Krusty: I'm looking forward to visiting the Arctic Circle, or as I call it, my wife's side of the bed! For the purposes of that joke, I'm married.
Krusty Setup/Punchline Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Krusty: Hey! You! Big Chief Laugh-at-Crap.
Krusty Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: Arctic Circle-- I just got that!
Homer Character Comedy Callback Krusty · Homer: Homer, you're the easiest laugh I know. How easy am I? Shut up!
Homer: Can my son come, too? He knows what to do when I swallow my tongue.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: They fight and bite? I never go to Europe without learning something.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Krusty: Your drugs put me to sleep. Your drugs wake me up. If I ask you to give me more, you say no. If I ask you again, you give 'em to me.
Krusty Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lisa: But no, Bart gets everything because he's the oldest, and he's a boy. And Maggie gets what's ever left over, because she's the youngest and she's a baby. Meanwhile, I just stand and wave to people going to better places.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Airport Security · Lisa: Would half a bottle of confiscated water cheer you up? Ew, no thanks. Oh. Quite the little princess, ain't she?
Ira Glass: I'm Ira Glass. Remember when you were five years old, putting ketchup on your hot dog? Today, in five acts: condiments. Act one, mustard. Act two, mayo. Act three, relish. Act four, corn relish...
Ira Glass Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Lisa: Oh, I get it. They go to Oslo, we get some ice cream.
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Marge: spend a week at performing arts camp!
Marge Setup/Punchline Misdirection Marge: Whoops-- didn't time that quite right.
Marge Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Lisa: Victory for the middle child!
Lisa Character Comedy Callback Callback Marge: Aw, you think I forgot you? Babies shouldn't jump to conclusions.
Marge Character Comedy Absurdist Camp Counselors: You're gonna like arts camp, Lisa / Marge paid with her debit VISA
Kurt · Ethan: You said counselors twice. We do a lot of counseling. Yeah, but we don't do twice as much counseling. Well, don't question me in front of the children!
Kurt · Ethan · Lisa: She can't hear us, we're stage whispering. I can hear you. No, you can't.
Kurt: All our camp T-shirts are medium / Well, I hope you wear medium, girl-- huh!
Lisa · Kurt · Ethan: Do you guys always do that? Do what? Sing what you just said, then play a little guitar riff? No, we don't do that / We never do that / Well, we sometimes do that / But very infrequently, lady.
Krusty: How 'bout that airline food, huh? They should've called it 'chicken cordon blech'!
Krusty Observational Wordplay/Pun Krusty: Wait a minute... This doesn't look like Oslo. Where are the wood-stave churches? Historic Akershus Fortress?
Krusty Character Comedy Misdirection Dutch Official · Krusty: You are in Holland... specifically, The Hague. Did you say a Hague? I said The Hague.
Dutch Official: It was merely a ruse to get you to Europe, so we could try you for the terrible crimes you've committed on this continent!
Dutch Official: You dropped a monkey from the Eiffel Tower... In Greece, you committed something called 'aggravated hey-hey'... And here in Holland, you stole the entire act of our beloved clown 'Van Krusten.'
Van Krusten: U bestolen al mijn jokenchortles!
Student · Ethan: Your dog's dead! Um... that's not really a heckle.
Student · Kurt: I've seen more life in the Wellington Botanic Gardens! That is a heckle, but if you're not from New Zealand, it loses some of its sting.
Ethan: If they did know the Gardens, then they would know that they're teeming with life.
Ethan Observational Irony/Sarcasm Callback Kurt · Ethan: We're highly successful artists. And as artists, we live in Springfield's most artistic borough... Sprooklyn.
Kurt · Ethan: playing my Gibson... rehearsing my Ibsen.
Kurt: Three layers, Mother Nature.
Kurt Character Comedy Observational Lisa: Excuse me while I talk to this cow that is grazing / I give art like you give milk
Kurt · Ethan: 'Cause artists are smarter than Mr. Stephen Hawking
Kurt · Ethan: To the gritty city when you're less itty-bitty, girl / The city's pretty gritty for an itty-bitty pretty girl.
Krusty: Everyone's windmill needs a new blade now and then, right?
Dutch Official: No! Our windmills are the envy of the world!
Krusty: Did you ever see my 'Wyatt Burp' sketch? Everyone on my payroll says it's great.
Krusty Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Krusty: Let me do my 'Dutch Oven' bit! It's about other Dutchmen, not you.
Lisa: Those clouds look like a casting director saying, 'You've got the part.'
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Lisa: That cloud looks like legendary Broadway lyricist Betty Comden.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Lisa: Monday was orientation. Tuesday, we did mime. Wednesday we did Mame. Thursday we got attacked by bees.
Lisa: Friday morning, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Elaine Stritch helped us make wallets.
Lisa Absurdist Character Comedy Lisa · Kurt: Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes. Part One: Millennium Approaches. Part Two... Perestroika? That's right!
Kurt: I'll miss you a lot, then a little, then not too much.
Kurt Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Lisa: I don't want to get stuck behind the joggers from the fat camp.
Lisa Observational Dark/Subversive Marge: Oh, you didn't see a boy lose his swim trunks, did you?
Marge Character Comedy Misdirection Marge: We've got plenty of songs in the car, by Maggie's favorite singer: Roofi.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Roofi · Marge: Brush your teeth, comb your hair / Have an apple or a pear... Bup-up-up. Safety locks.
Marge: Sorry. I guess I shouldn't be playing this driving game while I'm driving.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Bart: Hey Lisa, how was farts camp? Farts camp-- that's great.
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Bart: Did you paint a picture on toilet paper?
Bart Character Comedy Observational Music Teacher: Lisa, I went to arts camp, too. And all it does is fill your coconut with banana-cream dreams that can never come true.
Music Teacher: How do you cope? Vanilla Wafers, plum wine and take it from the top.
Music Teacher: My country 'tis of thee / Life disappointed me / I'm 53.
Krusty: Top to bottom, left to right, readin' things is outta sight.
Krusty Character Comedy Observational Krusty: Speaking of out of sight, you've gotta hide me. I slept with the lighting director's wife, and...
Krusty Character Comedy Callback Callback Lisa · Homer: One night we spoke only in lines from famous poems. Because I could not stop for death, he kindly stopped for me. Emily Dickinson. No, I was just describing my day.
Homer: My dream is to be able to walk up stairs like an eight-year-old girl.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Lisa: We'll take the town by storm, like the Bronte sisters.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Lisa: Oh, Maggie, don't ever turn two.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Lisa · Kurt: Brrr! Boy, it sure is cold in here. No heat. It's, uh, part of our art.
Kurt · Ethan: Sandwich artists. But we get to eat any sandwiches we drop on the floor. Unless we drop them on purpose. They've got cameras on us at all times.
Kurt: Look, Lisa, I think it's time we can sang you the truth.
Kurt Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Kurt · Ethan: Artists are the least important people in the world / So whatever you do, don't be an artist, girl...
Kurt · Ethan: Artists make a living dressing up like a falafel
Background voice: You ain't no falafel!
Kurt · Ethan: Artists sit in jail, on a lifetime hitch / The only way out is become a prison snitch
Kurt: Oh, why did I sing that out loud?
Kurt Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Kurt · Ethan: We wanted you to think / We were happening guys. Well, philosophically, we're happening, in the sense that we exist.
Krusty · Dutch Official: Come on, I thought you Euro-jerks loved unfunny comedy. We don't put 'Euro' in front of everything. Euro-guards! Take him away in Euro-cuffs.
Dutch Official · Homer · Bart: Is it region one or region two? Uh, what region is America? Region one. Woo-hoo! We're region one!
Dutch Official: Well, this is region two, so I'm afraid your exculpatory evidence will produce nothing more than an error message stating 'unreadable disc.'
Homer: If it please the court, my brother has a multi-region player. I just pray he's not on a state-mandated five-week vacation.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Brother: Get this back to me by 6:00. I'm having a Real Housewives of Atlanta season two party.
Brother Character Comedy Observational Krusty: My contract specifically stated half regular, half ruffled! Forget it! The gig's off! I ain't gonna play Sun City. Vuvuzela me out of here.
Krusty Character Comedy Observational Dutch Official: Three days later, South Africa freed Nelson Mandela from prison. Krusty the Klown, your selfishness has saved the world.
Krusty · Dutch Official: Now, where's the nearest place I can score a little victory weed? That would be the courthouse cafeteria. I'll be right there. Order me, um, a raspberry crepe and a brick of hash.
Dutch Official · Krusty: How do you smoke it? I melt it and inject it into my eyelid. Hey, you're all right.
Kurt · Ethan: What's she doing with her hands? It's called applause. I'm not sure I like it.
Moe: Hi. I'm Moe. It's good that little kid left, 'cause this song is gonna get into a very dark area.
Moe Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Kurt: Remember us for our exaggerations, not our reality.
Kurt Character Comedy Observational Lisa · Ethan: Is it your laundry? Okay, two surprises.
Kurt · Ethan: In a way, I think we learned more from her than she did from us. Yeah, well, obviously, because we taught her nothing.
Kurt Ethan Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa · Ethan: How did we get way up here? Weren't we just back there? The magic of art.
Lisa Ethan Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
