After a video of Homer ranting goes viral, he gets his own political talk show; Homer endorses rocker Ted Nugent for the Republican presidential nominee.
WAR
58.9
Wins Above Replacement
“Politically Inept With Homer Simpson” ranks #270 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.6 — Elite. The episode packs 86 scored jokes at 4.3 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: Well, if there's one thing I don't like being taught, it's a lesson!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer · Homer · Marge · Homer: Great question. I know you children have never seen your father cry before. / Marge, do we have any more gravy? / No, we're out. / Why? Oh, why?!
Homer · Flight attendant: But I have to go to the bathroom. / You should have thought of that before you drank the fluids you need to live.
Homer: Look, all I want is what everybody wants: preferential treatment.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Apu: Well, the hot dogs spin counterclockwise in fear whenever you are near, sir.
Apu Absurdist Character Comedy All Jokes — 86 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Lisa: Finally. The only thing I wait in lines this long for are slightly better cell phones.
Bart · Marge · Bart: Why do we even have to go to this stupid wedding? / Cousin Kathy invited us so our feelings wouldn't be hurt. And we're going so her feelings won't be hurt. / I just don't understand the world of grown-ups.
Homer: Let me just redistribute our thingies amongst our various bags.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Marge: Don't argue in front of the airport line. Strangers are judging our marriage!
Marge Character Comedy Observational Marge · Lisa: Lisa, do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels? / They self-reference each other.
Homer · Marge · Homer: Marge, do we really need all these feminine products? / That's toothpaste! / Yes, but I never use that kind of toothpaste!
Homer · Family: Try to catch one on your tongue. / We're not with him.
Marge · Marge: Now I have to change the nipple. / True patriots breastfeed.
Homer: Whoo-hoo! Can you focus on my shoulders? That's where I carry my stress. Now, if I fart, that's 'cause I'm so relaxed.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Flight attendant: Due to an unforeseen jailbreak in New South Wales, our takeoff is going to be just a little bit delayed.
Flight attendant: So, we're going to be turning off the air, but ethnic people are permitted to open and eat their home-cooked food.
Apu: Crazy food indeed, my friend.
Apu Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Flight attendant: We've been cleared to taxi back to the terminal. You still can't get off, but you will be able to look through the window and see other people walking around and making fun of us.
Homer · Flight attendant: But I have to go to the bathroom. / You should have thought of that before you drank the fluids you need to live.
Homer: Don't tread on pee!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Homer: You make us beg for a filthy pillow that a barnyard rat wouldn't curl up and die in.
Homer Observational Escalation Homer: Look, all I want is what everybody wants: preferential treatment.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: You can check my carry-on, but you can't check my spirit.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Homer: And why is there moisture between the windows? And don't wake me up to land. Just land!
Homer Observational Escalation Homer: I regret nothing! Except this part.
Homer Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Marge: Looks like we're back to traveling on tramp steamers and produce trucks.
Marge Observational Escalation Bart · Lisa · Bart · Marge: I call shotgun! / It's too early to call shotgun. / It's never too early to call shotgun. / No one's shotgun!
YouTube poster: "Fatso Goes Nutso." And post to YouTube with the following key words: "fat," "stupid," "classic Simpsons," and just to be safe, "baby rides kitten rides penguin."
Apu: Well, the hot dogs spin counterclockwise in fear whenever you are near, sir.
Apu Absurdist Character Comedy Random person: When I heard Homer speak, I no longer felt small.
Homer: The quiet Homer Simpson that kept it all bottled up inside is dead. This is the birth of Homer Simpson, blowhard.
Nash Castor: your video has been mashed-up, Auto-Tuned, Jimmy Falloned, Philippine prisonered, and occasionally even watched.
Adriatica Veljohnson: what we don't need is another blustering bloat bag who claims to speak for Bubba and Britney Spray-Cheese.
Homer: Now, I may not be some mani-pedied TV blowhard, but I do speak for the common man who does his lousy job, goes to church twice a year and watches women's tennis 'cause he likes to hear them grunt.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Those real people out there who buy their coffee from the mini-mart and grab enough sugar packs for a week. Honest, hardworking, sugar-stealing Americans!
Homer Observational Escalation Bart · Homer · Homer: From now on, when someone asks me, I'm going to say you are my father. / Aw, son. / Now I regret bad-mouthing you to that girl you liked.
TV executive: You are the kind of ill-informed gasbag this network cannot get enough of. We only have 11 now.
Liberal straw man character: Not to mention our liberal straw man. ♪ Oh, the plain and simple facts is ♪ ♪ I'd love to raise your taxes And make your children gay... ♪
TV executive · Homer · TV executive: Your flyover Franks, your dirt-bike Daryls. / How can you refer to your audience that way? / Well, what you do is take a derogatory term and think of other words that start with the same letter.
Homer · Homer: Finally. But I want to do it my way: classy and sophisticated. / Welcome to Gut Check with Homer Simpson! Where the truth is served with a side of... in your face.
Homer: Audio book read by Lenny.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: I'm a loudmouth who says things you're afraid to say, but not racist things!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Nebraska. A high school principal has decided that football is too dangerous, so he's replacing it with... soccer.
Homer Observational Setup/Punchline Homer: Are you ready for Irish announcers with lyrical accents? "Oh, that's a lovely touch. Oh, such a beautiful form."
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: If we lose football, we lose the blitz, cheerleaders, Rudys, Ochocincos, something for fat kids to play.
Homer Observational Escalation Homer · Bart · Homer: Shoot the mailman! Shoot the mailman. / Is it a little weird how much he cries? / No way. When a guy who loves America cries, it makes him super straight.
Homer · Lisa · Homer: I'm already a Halloween mask! / That's not you. They just painted Shrek yellow. / It's still a great honor.
Homer · Homer · Marge · Homer: Great question. I know you children have never seen your father cry before. / Marge, do we have any more gravy? / No, we're out. / Why? Oh, why?!
Homer: People know I'm doing a character, like Stephen Colbert or Newt Gingrich.
Homer Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer: D'oh! Death to America! I mean, over here.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Homer: When March Madness spills into April, that's the gravy. When someone messes with you, and you invade the country that did it plus another one, that's the gravy.
Homer Observational Dark/Subversive Homer: When you stick your flag in the moon and say 'Now we're done trying,' that's the gravy!
Homer Observational Character Comedy TV crew member: Um. not a big deal, but next time, can we use real gravy instead of brown paint? Not a big deal.
Marge: You know, symbols can often rile people up. The swastika, the New York Yankees logo.
Marge Escalation Observational Homer: Don't worry, sweetie. I think I know how to whip up an audience just short of a frenzy.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Just an innocuous little symbol, like a smiley face or like an I.O.U.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm TV narrator: The gravy boat movement is spreading across the nation like a rumor about some kid and someone's mom hooking up at a high school.
Homer · Lisa · Homer: Then what percent above 100 are you behind me? / Um, none. / Only 100%?!
Homer: Now, Lisa, I'm an entertainer. And you can't entertain and inform at the same time. And if you're Access Hollywood, you do neither.
Homer Observational Escalation Homer: And you can't entertain and inform at the same time. And if you're Access Hollywood, you do neither.
Homer Observational Setup/Punchline Republican operative: Now, they're all excellent choices, so simply pick the white male candidate you prefer and we'll elect him.
Chris Christie: Save me, ObamaCare!
Homer: The great thing is, when they get in, they act like Republicans.
Homer Observational Dark/Subversive Ted Nugent: No one's voting Democrat while I can still draw a bow.
Homer · Homer: I made love on my honeymoon to your sweet music. / You're my man!
Ted Nugent: That's all right, she can munch on an antler. Antlers ain't meat.
Ted Nugent · Flanders: From the looks of that moustache, I'm guessing you're a tenured professor at the People's Republic of Berkeley. / Hey, the only left-wing thing about me is the way I write.
Ted Nugent · Badger · Ted Nugent: I bagged me a fat little badger. / Please, kind sir, have pity. / All I hear is 'chitter-chitter.'
Madison · Homer · Homer · Madison: Arise, Homer Simpson! / Huh? Who's there? / Mozart! / I am James Madison, sir.
Homer · Madison · Homer · Madison: Can we get some pizza on the way? / Everything's closed. / They sell some at the gas station. / I don't want gas station pizza.
Homer · Madison · Homer: So, how come your picture's not on money? / Actually, I'm on the $5,000 bill. / Do you give them out for fans? 'Cause I'm a fan.
Homer · Homer: What's this? / Some kind of bicentennial lemon party?
Madison · Homer: This great nation is built upon the hard work of, well, as you would say, nerds. / Nerds! You want I should mess them up?
Madison: You are an embarrassment to the aristocratic slaveholders who forged this mighty nation.
Madison Dark/Subversive Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: No, no, John Hancock. I don't need insurance.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Sam Adams, I'm sorry I made fun of your winter ale.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer: Oh, Marge, Oscar Madison came to me and told me that politics are serious and important!
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Homer · Homer: "Springfield Colonial Village"? / What the...? You faked it!
Bart · Bart: I did it just to mess with your mind. / That's what a play within a play is for!
Bart Bart Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Homer: Well, if there's one thing I don't like being taught, it's a lesson!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer · Lisa · Homer · Homer: Not only will I endorse Ted Nugent, but I will call for an end to the direct election of senators! / Dad, no! / Really? That made sense? / Then I'm definitely doing it.
Homer: Not only will I endorse Ted Nugent, but I will call for an end to the direct election of senators!
Ted Nugent: Come on, hurry up and cry so I can get elected and open up the San Diego Zoo for big game hunting.
Lisa · Homer: Maybe because, deep down, you know you don't believe in what you're doing. / Oh, my God, she's right. My lips will say anything, but my eyes know the truth!
Homer: My ears are keeping their mouth shut.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: My fellow Americans, I am full of crap.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Bart: I knew you were, Dad. I always knew!
Bart Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Ted Nugent: Well, for one brief, glorious moment, I was almost president, sort of, not really.
Ted Nugent: ♪ Eat mooses raw so their souls go into my soul ♪
Ted Nugent: ♪ Suck on that, Francis Scott Key ♪
Homer · Ted Nugent · Homer: Great song, Ted! When's our next gig? Are we going to New York or...? / Shh! / Oh...
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