Bart ends up in trouble with school bullies after Jimbo's girlfriend develops feelings for him; Homer buys a treadmill equipped with a TV.
WAR
48.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Beware My Cheating Bart” ranks #322 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.2 — Great. The episode packs 76 scored jokes at 4.3 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Marge · Baby Homer: His first word was a lie. Who did this? Mommy. She did?! Then I'm gonna withhold affection without telling her why.
Jimbo: Extracting Lunch Money from a Cashless Society. We're gonna rob the guy giving the seminar.
Jimbo Irony/Sarcasm Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: Oh, that's such a first-take answer!
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: the entire Strandiverse, is a piece of gravel in a cosmic kitty litter box!
Marge Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, islands are always entertaining, from Gilligan to Iwo Jima.
Homer Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 76 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Happy Little Elves Two: The Sequelf
Homer Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Bart · Homer: That movie's for babies. Eh, watch whatever you want; I got you here alive.
Bart Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Now I'm gonna visit the only court I could never be in contempt of: food court!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Now, to save on calories, I won't eat the paper in the fortune cookie.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Salesman · Homer: Sir, I can't help but noticing that you are very near death. Closer than you think.
Salesman · Homer: Homer, how long do you want to live? Long enough that me and Marge can be one of those couples who just sit and hold hands.
Homer: I heard Lenny had a terrible fall. You know who else fell? Dr. Hibbert. Yeah, falls'll getcha.
Salesman: For money. This is the Butt-Whisperer 9000.
Treadmill · Salesman: Run, you maggot! Faster, you tub of lard! It's programmed to my specifications!
Salesman · Homer: Homer, you can't afford $300 a month? No. Well, what about ten dollars a day? Easy!
Jimbo · Bart: How was Crappy Little Elves? My friend and I only see it to rank on it.
Jimbo Bart Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jimbo: Crawlspace, based on Paxing kongjian
Jimbo Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jimbo: if we don't watch movies about torture in crawl spaces, how will we know what to do if someone puts us in a torture crawl space? Not if, when.
Jimbo Dark/Subversive Escalation Shauna: one of those Jennifer Aniston movies where she rolls her eyes on the poster
Shauna Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jimbo: You're a total perv magnet.
Jimbo Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Jimbo: No starter stache, temp tat, still has baby teeth at nine and 24.
Jimbo Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jimbo Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Shauna: Come on, come on. The best murder's always first.
Shauna Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Shauna: All right, we've seen his ass. Let's go.
Shauna Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Food court worker · Bart: Hey, I can hook you up with pinto and black beans. Oh, I'll do anything for free beans. Anything.
Food court worker: Corn, flour, corn, corn, no gluten, corn. Two stuck together?! Oh, now I got to fill out a form!
Bart: Looks like two snakes trying to kill each other on your head.
Bart Observational Setup/Punchline Bart: I'm actually in fourth grade, but I read at a second grade level. They think I might have a problem.
Bart Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Jimbo: Extracting Lunch Money from a Cashless Society. We're gonna rob the guy giving the seminar.
Jimbo Irony/Sarcasm Escalation ★ Rewatch Jimbo: We're gonna rob the guy giving the seminar.
Jimbo Escalation Irony/Sarcasm Homer: That's weird, my armpits are getting wet!
Homer Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Homer: Seen it. Seen it. Seen it. British version was better. Totally scripted. Sued it.
Homer Escalation Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, islands are always entertaining, from Gilligan to Iwo Jima.
Homer Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: That flashback raised more questions than it answered.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: Purr-gatory. Where are we?!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: And I'm sure everything they said will pay off handsomely!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Shauna · Jimbo: I didn't steal nothing. If anything happens to her, I'll beat you up from inside your brain.
Bart: I use it all the time. ♪ Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi ♪
Bart Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Bart · Security: Isn't that what used to be the Beanie Baby store? Shut up.
Homer: I'd use my legs but I've forgotten how!
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Marge: Hey, the first time we lost Maggie was in this store!
Marge Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Marge · Bart: More breast? What-- No! I'm offering you a chicken breast, you boob!
Bart: Doesn't anyone here realize I'm only ten years old?
Bart Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: I'm just not ready for cookies!
Bart Absurdist Character Comedy Marge: I guess the weight will all come off at once, some day in the future.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Marge · Baby Homer: His first word was a lie. Who did this? Mommy. She did?! Then I'm gonna withhold affection without telling her why.
TV character: Don't believe anything you were told by me in the past, because that was not me. But this is me now. But in less than a second, I'll be gone forever. I might be back!
Homer: Now, if the Korean couple can't speak English, why were they doing a crossword puzzle where the answer to 23 down was 'enigma' spelled backwards?
Homer Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: And where will I watch TV? On the TV! And where will I walk?! On the ground!
Lisa · Marge · Homer: This is the stupidest fight ever! We've had stupider! I don't think so.
Lisa · Homer · Marge: This is the stupidest fight ever! We've had stupider! I don't think so.
Jimbo: Hey, Fart-tholomew.
Jimbo Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jimbo: Hey, Fart-tholomew.
Jimbo Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Bart: What any boy would: push you in a puddle and run away.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Jimbo: Shauna, I forgot to grope you goodbye.
Jimbo Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Homer: Can it wait another 104 hours?
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: Oh, that's such a first-take answer!
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Well, who wears a wool hat to a pool?
Bart Observational Setup/Punchline Jimbo: It's not fair! You know that's hilarious!
Jimbo Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Bart · Lifeguard: I'm on the grass apron! Huh? Ugh, everyone's a swimming pool lawyer.
Marge: Why if it isn't Jimbo, Dorf and Ernie.
Marge Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Shauna: Why do men always think with their tongue?
Shauna Observational Wordplay/Pun Shauna: This isn't, like, some creepy place under an off-ramp?
Shauna Observational Setup/Punchline Comic Book Guy · Bart: All-seeing? Yeah, when's the last time you saw your feet?
Bart · Comic Book Guy: You're a bully? A cyber bully. Anything I do, it is important that I can lie down while doing it.
Comic Book Guy: You just got yourself in a flame war... with a teenage girl. Oh, flame on!
Comic Book Guy: You have cloven me from my ponytail to my slipper shoe!
Comic Book Guy: 20 pound bricks are a dollar.
Apu: We discuss why airplane go crash-crash but people don't die-die.
Apu Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Marge: the entire Strandiverse, is a piece of gravel in a cosmic kitty litter box!
Marge Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Homer: Now, I'm going to give you a spoiler it's not great right now.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Setup/Punchline Homer: Now, I'm going to give you a spoiler it's not great right now.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Bart: You'd have to be a Navy SEAL to get in or out.
Bart Observational Setup/Punchline Lisa: And your brother's not a wad, he's a dink on the road to doofus.
Lisa Escalation Wordplay/Pun Shauna: Your older sister's right, Bart.
Shauna Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dolph · Jimbo: Whoa, you should write that down, man. I'll remember it.
Dolph Jimbo Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Shauna: And that's something only an inappropriately older man can tell me.
Shauna Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Dolph: If I wrote down everything you told me to write down, I'd have no time for punching.
Dolph Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: I'd tell my best friend, but that's Marge too.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: Purr-plexing, isn't it?
Homer Wordplay/Pun Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Simpsons
