Ted And Mary

Ted:You gonna do that little wiggle step again? That was cute.

Larry:No!

Larry:I don't know if I can spend another evening with these people.

Larry · Bowling Alley Employee:Those aren't mine. No, they gotta be. They're not my shoes.

Larry · Bowling Alley Employee:What kind of guy would take somebody else's shoes? A guy that has these shoes.

Larry:Everything's heaven with him. The piece of gum he had, 'Oh, this is heaven.' Had to taste a chocolate bar. 'I'm in heaven.' The parking space is 'heaven.' It's all 'heaven.'

Larry:He asked lots of questions about my personal hygiene, too. I'm not gonna even tell you what they were... but really personal.

Larry:It must be hell living with Ted Danson. That's got to be hard.

Larry · Cheryl:Why couldn't you be friends with her? Because she's a woman.

Larry:If we're gonna be making friends with them... I'd just as soon be friends with her. You can be friends with him. And you could get the personal hygiene questions, okay?

Larry:Heaven, it was heaven.

Larry · Mary's Mother:I don't think.... They don't let me into certain states, actually. Why not? I'm incorrigible.

Salesperson:Barneys salespeople, they're practically psychic.

Mary:Twins.

Larry:Nothing gives me more pleasure than cracking an egg. Nothing. I'll make you some omelets. I will flip you out.

Mary · Larry:That is so sexy. Mary! I'm sorry. We're friends, I can say that. No big deal. I know, I'm sorry. I'm just very old-fashioned about that kind of.... No, Larry, honey, that's my water.

Cheryl · Larry:That's bizarre, don't you think? Why? I've never been able to get you to go shopping before.

Ted:So, a shopping spree with the girls, Larry?

Larry:Maybe you just figured wrong.

Ted:Call Mary first, figure out what to wear.

Larry · Shoe Thief:How can they be your shoes? How can they be? Because that guy gave them to you by mistake the other day.

Larry:What's weird is that you'd take shoes that don't belong to you and put them on.

Shoe Thief · Larry:That would be, that'd be kind of weird. No, that's gonna be weird for you now, after I get the shoes back.

Larry:Or even weirder that you left without even your shoes.

Shoe Cleaner:I used desalter liquid with a scrub brush... and then I used a deodorizer spray. They smell like new shoes.

Barneys Salesperson:You asked me to waive the deposit and I did that for you. You looked like an honest person and I trusted your face.

Barneys Salesperson:I am not a shoe whore.

Larry:A lie is a gesture, it's a courtesy. It's a little respect. This is very disrespectful.

Larry:And I went.... Like that.

Cheryl:I can't believe you're even acting like you don't know why we're not invited.

Cheryl:I can't believe you're even acting like you don't know why we're not invited.

Larry:You know, it's kind of half-jacket, half-shirt, half-man, half-beast.

Larry:You know, it's kind of half-jacket, half-shirt, half-man, half-beast.

Barneys Salesperson:I know your little game, and I'm not playing it.

Larry · Mary:Sunday night? We thought it was last night. No, we went last night. He's playing three nights, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Concert Usher:Bill and Hillary flew in this morning... and this evening was the only time they could all get together.

Larry · Mary's Mother:I guess it's you and me, huh? Guess so.