Porno Gil

Larry:The cowboy hat with that bolo string, what is that?

Larry:I see certain items, and I recoil in horror.

Cheryl · Larry:He might have to have bypass surgery. - Really? Can you believe that? - No.

Larry · Gil:How are you, Gil? You sounded like my friend John.

Larry · Cheryl:He used to be a porno actor like 15 years ago. No, I don't wanna go to a porn party.

Jeff:I need you to get them out of there... if something happens to me

Larry:That's your own deal, Repression Jones.

Larry:What if I get in an accident on the way home? The porn flies everywhere, strewn all over the car, all over my bleeding body.

Larry · Jeff:Try not to die. Thank you.

Cheryl · Larry:Then why did you get it? I don't know. I wanted to get everything. I wanted to have all the loaded things.

Cheryl · Larry:When were you gonna learn? I don't know. I thought somebody would teach me.

Stranger · Larry:You're lost? I wasn't lost then. You didn't know where you were going. In my book, that's lost.

Larry · Stranger:There's no hostility, there's no anger. Can I just have the paper back? Please! You snap!

Stranger:I hope you stay lost!

Larry:I've always wanted to drive around in this area for hours. It's quite scenic, don't you think? And they have some very colorful characters. I enjoyed Baby Jane a lot, didn't you?

Golf Range Guy · Larry:You wouldn't help me with the ball. The ball? The range ball. It fell and you wouldn't help me out.

Golf Range Guy:Maybe next time you'll remember to pick up the fucking golf ball.

Larry:Jake's Way is not marked, there's no sign for it. You may have included that in the directions.

Gil · Larry:If you would take your shoes off... Really? Just take them off. It's just a custom my wife started in the house.

Larry:I'll leave mine on, is that okay? They're completely clean. Look, see?

Cheryl · Larry:Did he tell you this was a dinner party, Larry? No, he said 'party.' I wouldn't go to a dinner party.

Gil:Great place, my wife jokingly refers to it as 'the house that cum built.' 'Cause of my porns.

Gil · Larry:That's a collection of small bottles, and I like them. It's very interesting. They're not as big as normal.

Larry · Melanie:We were so hungry, that we had a bag of potato chips in the car... Potato chips on the way to a dinner party? What's that?

Gil:You know what Tabasco's good for? Keep you hard. Really? Only you gotta stick it up your ass.

Gil:He runs over to the craft service table, he comes back, his finger is red. Sticks it up my ass. Tabasco sauce!

Gil:I wasn't the biggest, all right? But I could stay hard the longest.

Larry:Maybe we can stop and pick up some Tabasco.

Larry:My back. Oh, shit! I'm so sorry! Everyone sit down. There's glass on the floor. No one move.

Gil:It doesn't affect you, does it, the glass on the floor? Because you're wearing your fucking shoes in my house!

Larry:My feet have a tendency to get a little chilly when I take my...

Larry · Cheryl:What's the level of anger here? What am I dealing with? I'd say... at least an 8.7.

Cheryl · Larry:Then you broke that lamp... and that crazy woman screamed at you, and it got you some pity points. Pity points? Fabulous! I love pity points.

Larry:I don't wanna do a double-goodbye. I've already said goodbye under the worst circumstances. You want me to go and do the double-goodbye?

Larry:I gotta take my shoes off now.

Cheryl · Larry:Is that a barn? Think it was too small for a barn. It looked more like a stable.

Jeff (voiceover):Go up to my bedroom. To the left of the TV, there's a cabinet by the bookcase there. Open it up, move the linens, move 'em to the side, push on the back door. Inside there, I have my porn collection.

Susie · Hotel security:Who is it? - Hotel security, ma'am, open up.

Susie:There's a prowler outside. I'm really scared. I can hear noises.

Larry:Hi. That's a friend of mine. Gil Thilander. I had dinner at his house... yesterday. You like that?