Cheryl's psychic busts Larry for a naughty massage, and a restaurant owner busts Larry for stealing forks.
WAR
54.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The Massage” ranks #80 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.2 — Elite. The episode packs 58 scored jokes at 1.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Masseuse: How did you know that? Yeah, on my arm, that's wild.
Masseuse Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Mike: If I stopped at 12 pumps, I would tell my wife. I'd go home and say, 'Honey, I was getting a massage and I took 12 pumps and I stopped 'cause I love you.'
Larry: Yeah, she said I was a little prick.
Larry Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: My mother did throw me against a brick wall when I was an infant. Maybe that had--
Larry Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mike: Wait a minute, are you messing around with me? Is this a gag? 'Cause my character goes to a masseuse who wants to give him a happy ending.
Mike Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 58 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jeff: The problem, quite honestly, has been you, Larry.
Jeff Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Larry: No, not Fox, I don't like their politics.
Larry Character Comedy Observational Jeff · Larry: Don't stare, come on. Oh, my God, look at that.
Jeff: It's called 'scarlet-letter punishment.'
Jeff Observational Wordplay/Pun Larry: He wanted to do a stop-and-chat. I didn't want to do a stop-and-chat.
Larry Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jeff: You always have rules and phrasings, 'stop-and-chat.'
Jeff Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Cheryl · Jeff: No. Really? Surprise, surprise. That shocks me.
Larry: Kim nails or Kim psychic?
Larry Observational Character Comedy Jeff: Only you could have a bad time in Hawaii.
Jeff Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Larry: Yeah, anybody could've predicted that.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Cheryl: Who's gonna pay to hear a bunch of bad shit? Nobody want to hear that.
Cheryl Observational Dark/Subversive Jeff: They can't feel your tension, okay? You're just all wired up.
Jeff Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Larry: I can't hit in front of an audience. You know, I just can't.
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: My mother did throw me against a brick wall when I was an infant. Maybe that had--
Larry Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: I didn't get hurt at all.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Larry: Yeah, she said I was a little prick.
Larry Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: It's good, it's delicious chi.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Masseuse: Would you like me to finish you off?
Larry · Masseuse: Stop. Stop? Stop.
Mike: What in the God's name is wrong with you? You're nuts.
Mike Reaction Beat Escalation Larry: I don't know what the hell she's talking about! I think she'll work more on my neck and that'll be it!
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Mike: Wait a minute, are you messing around with me? Is this a gag? 'Cause my character goes to a masseuse who wants to give him a happy ending.
Mike Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Mike: You don't watch my show? You don't?
Mike Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Mike: What do you mean? Who stops a whack-off?
Mike: You either do zero pumps or a thousand pumps.
Mike Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mike: If I stopped at 12 pumps, I would tell my wife. I'd go home and say, 'Honey, I was getting a massage and I took 12 pumps and I stopped 'cause I love you.'
Mike: And if your wife ever finds out, you're a noble man, you made it stop.
Larry: I ran into him on the street the other day and I didn't do a stop-and-chat.
Larry Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I've got a lump. I'm afraid she's gonna tell you about it! Do you hear what I'm saying? I'm dying!
Larry Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kim the Psychic: Yeah, he having sex with her hand! She pump 32 times, then....
Cheryl: She said that you're having an affair with a woman with long, red hair and a tattoo of a star.
Cheryl Setup/Punchline Misdirection ★ Rewatch Larry: Maybe she's an anti-Semite. I'm sure there's some Korean anti-Semites.
Larry Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Larry: Because if I just told you the truth about that, it means that I'm just a truthful person who would tell you the truth about anything.
Larry Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: I'm not a cool guy. You gotta be cool to do that. I couldn't do that. I won't know how, what would I do?
Larry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cheryl: That's true. I don't know, you won't be good at it.
Cheryl Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Larry: He's been completely snubbing me. It's not even subtle, it's ridiculous.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: You gotta stop and talk to people like there's so much information to exchange. 'Hello, how you doing?' 'How are you?' 'Good.' 'How's it going with you?' 'Good.' 'Okay, take it easy.'
Larry Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Cheryl: That's his night? That's why he gets paid, he sits there and waits. It's not a bad job.
Larry: Yeah, I know, and I hated it.
Larry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cheryl: How many times are we gonna talk about Greg?
Larry: I got some leftovers here. Maybe I'll just get him a doggie bag or something. Is that bad?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: No, I'm gonna give it to the limo driver.
Larry Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Greg: Just, like, leftovers? There's some shrimp in there and.... There's some rice in there. But I didn't touch any of the shrimp. I divided the rice very carefully. It's all clean, it's all good.
Greg: How am I supposed to eat? There's no fork, there's no napkin. I can't eat this.
Greg Setup/Punchline Escalation Rick: Pardon me for suggesting this, but it seems like you're walking out with our silverware.
Rick Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: You're upset, the other day when I saw you on the street and I didn't do a little stop-and-chat. You know what, I'm not good at artificial small talk.
Larry Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: All right, I guess in hindsight I probably should've let the guy eat with his hands. That would've been the better thing to do, right? Just have him get it all over his face and have dogs come up maybe and lick it off him.
Larry Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Larry: Do you have a tattoo of a star?
Larry Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Masseuse: How did you know that? Yeah, on my arm, that's wild.
Masseuse Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Yes, Judge Katz. And may I say, 'Shabbat shalom.'
Larry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Judge Katz: It seems to me there was an indication that you were gonna do what you wanted, when you wanted because you feel because of your celebrity somehow you can do things without consequences.
Larry: I could work at the temple on Saturday mornings hand out tallises and yarmulkes.
Larry Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: Temple can be quite grueling, as you well know.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: I swear to God, I'm not lying.
Larry Visual Gag Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I didn't beat my wife.
Larry Visual Gag Escalation ★ Rewatch Larry: I didn't beat my wife.
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Larry: That was a water bottle in my pants. A water bottle!
Larry Escalation Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — Curb Your Enthusiasm