An ice cream truck triggers a painful childhood memory for Larry.
WAR
52.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Mister Softee” ranks #71 of 120 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.5 — Elite. The episode packs 53 scored jokes at 1.3 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Crowd · Larry: Oh my God! I can't believe it! Unbelievable. I've never seen anything like that in my life. - Nice catch, Bill.
Crowd Larry Physical/Slapstick Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: She called me Mr. Softee.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Larry · Susie · Bill Buckner: Hey, Buck, catch. What?! What are you doing? It was a horseshit throw. No, it was a horseshit catch also.
Larry · Bill Buckner · Susie: Hey, Buck, catch. What?! What are you doing? - What the fuck?
Jeff · Susie · Bill Buckner: It was Mookie Wilson, Buckner! Yeah. What'd Mookie do? All he hit was a shitty ground ball.
All Jokes — 53 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry · Unknown: Is anybody worried about dirt on their food here? You know, these buses come by. Everybody makes such a big deal about eating outside. - I find it disgusting. - It's al fresco.
Larry · Jeff: You're wearing gloves? It's the middle of summer. - No, my baseball glove. - Oh, baseball.
Jeff: Are you not listening anything I've ever told you?
Jeff Character Comedy Observational Larry · Susie · Jennifer: You I can understand. You've been married a long time. You could care less about what he does. - You're absolutely correct. - But we've just started dating. And when you first start dating you always do things that are distasteful. - That's part of the process.
Larry · Jeff: That fish, to be honest, don't look so good. I only chose it because I knew we were gonna split it. Look, you brought the fish into it. I'm saying no. - That's completely unethical.
Susie: this is why he's a good manager. You should be thankful he's unethical. He's unscrupulous.
Susie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Larry · Jeff: Can I try it? - Nope. - Just a little taste? - Nope, you made a mistake.
Larry · Jeff: No, you're only saying you learned a lesson because I said I learned a lesson. That's where you're wrong. I'm just sharing. I know for a fact you did not learn a lesson. - It's a coincidence.
Jennifer · Jeff: Good luck at your wiffle ball game or whatever. - Softball.
Jeff · Larry: She likes you, which is a shocking thing to me. - She might.
Jeff Larry Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Susie: Lar. Lar. Larry! What happened? Where'd you go?
Susie Reaction Beat Character Comedy Larry · Jeff: To tell you the truth, whenever I see a woman who's happy, she's married. And whenever I see a man who's happy, he's single. - Mathematics of that is confusing, isn't it?
Larry Jeff Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: When I was a kid I had a traumatic incident involving Mr. Softee.
Larry Setup/Punchline Absurdist Larry: That's pretty pretty pretty good.
Larry Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Father · Neighborhood kids: What the hell are you doing with my daughter? Your vagina is showing. Oh my God. He's got more pubes on his fucking head.
Larry: I feel like if she had taken the top off my whole life would have been different.
Larry Character Comedy Observational Team Manager: You know, before I came out today I think about I'm like the Steinbrenner. And I think, 'What would Steinbrenner say right now?' He would say that when you put on this uniform with my name on it, there is no substitute for winning!
Manager · Team: we will grab them and we will fuck their sisters in the cunt! Are you listening? Bring it in. Come on. - Fuck these people! - Fuck these people!
Larry: Fuck their sisters in the cunt? Who talks that way?
Larry Reaction Beat Character Comedy Larry · Teammate · Team: I got distracted by the Softee Truck. - By the what? - What a douche. What a douche.
Teammate: You fucking bucknered it. Why is Buckner on my team?
Teammate Setup/Punchline Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Larry: Let me just say this, okay? On behalf of all Caucasians, I apologize. I apologize for the Caucasian race.
Larry Character Comedy Absurdist Larry: I have noticed that white people revere black people in glasses, go out of their way to do stuff for them. If a black man with glasses goes up for a job against a white man, glasses gets the job. No glasses, no job.
Larry Observational Dark/Subversive Leon: I get a fucking tingle in my Johnson when a motherfucker tells me he's about to get some ass.
Leon Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry · Yari: You didn't fix my car because I made an error? What are you, 12 years old? What are you, 90 years old?
Larry: You own 12 t-shirts.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Yari: Buckner, fuck you. Go Buckner yourself. Go! Faster!
Yari Callback Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Leon: We're good. Can you believe that? I'm gonna get me a whole new class of bitches with these on.
Leon Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Leon: This is better than anything the civil rights leaders have ever come up with. You're goddamn right. I have overcome, God damn it.
Leon Dark/Subversive Callback Callback Dr. Thurgood · Larry: You know when you were a kid walking with your mother through Bohack's, you saw your teacher and you had to realize she didn't live in school? You understand? Larry, I don't live in school either. - I have no idea what you're talking about.
Larry: She called me Mr. Softee.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Dr. Thurgood: I had a client once, he was a rock guitarist. He played for the band, what was the name of it? Grand Funk Railroad. I don't want to reveal his name because-- I already told you he played for Grand Funk Railroad. You can just look it up. It's Mark Farner.
Larry: Of course yours happened in the world series in front of millions of people, but nevertheless a ball went through my legs and cost us the game.
Larry Character Comedy Observational Callback Larry · Bill Buckner: He's the first one to wear that since Hitler, isn't he? You know what? I think that's true.
Hecklers · Larry · Bill Buckner: Hey, Buckner, you suck. Nice catch. What jerks, huh? Oh my God. How do you put up with that? You just get used to it.
Jewish man · Larry: When a Jewish person dies you need to have 10 men in a room to say a prayer. - It'll take 10 minutes tops. I got my friend here. - He could come along. It's a free lunch.
Larry: Hopefully there's an afterlife. I'll keep my fingers crossed. You never know. Crazier things, right?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mourner: He's a big Red Sox fan and he can't be in the same room with Bill Buckner. I'll have to ask you to please leave.
Mourner Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mourner: Don't let the door go through your legs on the way out, Buckner.
Mourner Callback Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I hope there is no afterlife. I hope there's no afterlife.
Larry Dark/Subversive Escalation Larry · Bill Buckner · Susie: Hey, Buck, catch. What?! What are you doing? - What the fuck?
Larry · Susie · Bill Buckner: Hey, Buck, catch. What?! What are you doing? It was a horseshit throw. No, it was a horseshit catch also.
Jeff · Susie · Bill Buckner: It was Mookie Wilson, Buckner! Yeah. What'd Mookie do? All he hit was a shitty ground ball.
Larry: You're not allowed to just say, 'Hey, let's have sex.' You've got to go around it... Like you're doing something else so you fool the woman. It's like a magic trick. It's sleight of hand.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Larry: The dried pineapple is destroying mixed nuts.
Larry Observational Escalation Larry: Like for golf, when I have a bad round, my next round is fantastic because I don't care anymore. I hit the low point. Like, I hit the low point the last time. And now I know that I stink. And when I feel I stink I'm good.
Larry Character Comedy Observational Larry: Bad news, I have no dip. I am so sorry. I am completely dipless.
Larry Escalation Wordplay/Pun Larry: That's a remarkably idiotic thing that you just said. But you know, the fact that you're wearing glasses, I perceive it as a little less idiotic than I normally would.
Larry Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Leon: This shit is a moving dildo. This chair is a fuck machine. Man cannot compete with machinery. You're damn right. She was coming downstairs.
Leon Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Dr. Thurgood · Larry: I don't want to reveal who he was, but he did direct 'Star Wars.' I would never say that. I merely alluded to the fact that he was a well-known director. You might as well call him George Lucas.
Leon · Larry: He tore the bill up, threw it in the garbage. Done. What? You're kidding. No, I'm not kidding. the glasses, baby. Amazing.
Leon Larry Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Leon Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Crowd · Larry: Oh my God! I can't believe it! Unbelievable. I've never seen anything like that in my life. - Nice catch, Bill.
Crowd Larry Physical/Slapstick Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — Curb Your Enthusiasm